Fleeing smoke;risen
Proud and delicate
Ghosts of wild horses
What IS this?
Eyes bathe
Darkness;bliss
My soul folds into itself
Gentle now
A metropolis collapsing into
Sinkhole
Gentle now; now
What is THIS?
Bluepurples burst growglow
Then vanish
More appear
Matter cannot be created or
Destroyed?
Yeah?
That hugs me like grizzly hibernation
I am ancient
Thats it!
I have been here for centuries
I remember
Protozoa ****** in prehistoric lake
The boredom of burning stars
Massive galaxies collapsing like
Waves
Yes. I am satisfied with that.
WHAT IS THIS?
Bodies burnt back to ash
An "i guess i'll just have..."
Kind of dinner for worms
To be consumed and created anew
Againagainagain again
Yes!
No?
No...
I cant figure it out...
My heart beats
Detonation countdown
After all this
My own heart will be the one
To **** me
What is this?
I don't have much time.

Tuned to the local classical station
I dont know what has become of me
All the other mid twenties at work
Listen to new **** and love to dance
I like lou reed and tom waits myself
And now im stuck on this classical
Binge
I suppose i will always try to escape
The crowds
Whether it be beneficial or not
This string quartet #8 "Razumovsky"
Finishes up and i drink my 7th beer
And say
In my best classical DJ voice
"That was Frou Frouflau" with his "Twa de La La in B minor"
And i laugh alone
In a dim lit room
Staring at paintings of a dim lit man
Me
And I start to feel
This is the right place
But the wrong time.

The worst part seems to be
Not being able to breathe
Its unfair
Maybe it would've been best to
Not be at all
No, this is good
But wasting it is not
Drunk on a futon
Reading Goethe
Its going to be very
Hard
To let this all go
Won't it?
The worst part about it seems to be
Not being able to breathe
But as you watch the others go
Your cats, your mother, your loves
You will be ready
Young man.
Won't you?
............................................................­...........

I said "I love you too."
And she smiled and stared through
Dirt clutching eyes
Silence. Like a flesh eating black bear
Slipped in between us in the
Crumb filled sheets
"What are you thinking about?"
She asks
Why did they always ask that?
They want you to say something
Dramatic. Meaningful.
I want to leave you and sever the heads of 1000 roses from their stems
Call the moon a *******
And finally, jump from a massive
Steel bridge
"I dont know..." i say
"Are you ok babe?"
"...yea..." i say
"Whats wrong tell meeee....
What are you thinking about?"
Oh...****... And how could i say that
I was daydreaming about a
Full grown black fighting bull
Escaped from the bull rings of spain
Bloodied and running
As fast as it could in moonlight
Through wild spanish flowers
Through the rain
Through deep gulps of freedom fresh
Mist
Crying laughing dying
Only wanting to keel over and die
Tongue out and alone
In a patch of bright
Non exotic flowers....

**** caked eyes scraped open
New, tasting fresh breeze of
Some amateur mahayana meditation
I scan the room
There is a painting of a moon with
A clock's face
And a wounded bull of spain
Running through a prairie
Running home
The oil paint bursts in brilliant
Cold blues
I think,
What is this?
What is this?
Then there is a cockroach running
Wildly
Across the linoleum
I smash its head like
Bluebird egg
It's legs are kicking and it
Rotates in a small circle
Around a mess of eyes, mouth,
Antennae
The suffering in this world is
Tremendous
I finish it off
And feel instant disgust
In myself
And all of you.

50 tons of
Steel locomotive
Came crashing from the sky
Screaming through hideous
Dark purples
On the knife tip of
A lightning bolt
It stopped me dead in my tracks
The cold steel chilled my toes
I thought "huh...that's so strange."
Then i walked around the wreckage
Headed south
On my way
To see you.

Like some rusted nail
Pounded
Into rotted wood
In sleep you dream of
Holographic pastels
Of wings riding breeze
Of love flowing
Soothing lava
Then suddenly you are ripped
From lightning lit castles
Awoken by the hammer
And it is brutal and heavy
Pounding pounding pounding
You are pushed deeper into
Rotten foundation
Stuck
Assaulted
Forced
In sleep you dream
Of sour pasts
Reconciled
Blue green seas
The floors of oceans
The solitude of whales
And the hammer comes down again
Pounding pounding pounding
Until you are secured like christ
And some ordinary
Housewife
Hangs some ugly painting
Upon you
She adjusts it a few centimeters left
Then a few to the right
Takes 3 steps back
"Perfect"
And you are buried
Done