Sitting there looking at that window,
I wonder.
What do you see?
The trees of a jungle, vines hanging down.
A peaceful green sanctuary.
Exotic birds, chirping and flying through the air
in a whirlwind of panic.
The roar of an airplane passing overhead.
Screams cutting through the air like a knife.
The warm metal held tightly on your hands, fingers on
the trigger.
Looking down, at the jungle floor, you don't
even flinch.
The jungle floor, drenched in blood and the
bodes of the fallen.
Death, its stench wafted in your nose.
The image fades away,
to a bright sunny morning.
The tree branches swaying with
the soft breeze.
Your gaze shifts to the two backpacks.
Long black hair swinging back and forth.
Muted laughter ringing into
your silence.
Your grandchildren,
walking off to school.

Once upon a time we were happy,
Maybe I was foolish then to think we were happy,
I was young and still naive.
I would never know the problems that would manifest with age
With every year that passes,
another piece chips away.
Sometimes, I'm fooled.
You scoff, but I thought we were happy.
I forgot our problems, I was blind to see the crack.
I turned away from the empty space.
You can't deny that, because you chose to ignore them.
Every year that went by,
every kiss, every hug, every conversation
We lied to ourselves.
We thought that we were happy,
we thought-
We didn't pay attention to
Our problems, our lies, our secrets, our misery.
Why do we lie?
When this time we were happy becomes a once upon a time,
can we say that it was happiness?
The heart behind the shell of our bodies
It bled.
It became so void that we couldn't see.
Now here we are you and me,
smiling like we shouldn't be.

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I'm scared
I'm a mess.
Can you help me? Hello?
Please! Anyone!
I-I-I can't! say no.
My throat is raw
My knuckles red
My heartbeat racing
I scream
HELP! HELP!

She
is the ghost that haunts me
She
is the villain that thwarts me
She
is the shadow that never leaves me
She
is the monster that keeps me
She
is the person that I see
She
is the ene(me).

She caught your eye with just a glance
While I racked my brain to chase you
To come up empty every time
Yet all it took her was a "Hi"
I used to think was I not enough
What did I lack?

But I know the answer now
It’s simple yet it’s cruel
Im not her
I’m sure I’ll never be her

10 years of chasing
A delusion I dreamt up myself
One you didn’t share
Because I’ll never be the one

I know the answer now
It’s simple yet it’s cruel
It’s realizing im not her
It’s me you cannot love

Your eyes follow her the minute she enters the room
I practiced a thousand times to have you turn my way
Why does your heart come so easy to her?
When it’s like grabbing at air to hold in my hands?

But I know the answer now
It’s simple yet it’s cruel
I’m not her
I’m me and that’s ok but that’s means I won’t have you

Maybe I’ll tell you one day
But seeing her dress and that look you have on your face
It’s better you didn’t know
These feelings they’ll stay with me
Where they have been and always will be

I know the answer now
It’s simple yet it’s cruel
I’m not her
No, I’ll never be her

Words stab and leave invisible wounds —
Wounds that don’t bleed, but ache all the same.
What you don’t see, you may never know.
What you don’t feel, you may never understand.
Your words are blades you wield without knowing.
And I — I’m the fool who receives them, smiling still.

I live in between the wisps of dreams and echoes of stories
I am man
I am woman
I am thing

I live in countries, planets, solar systems, universes, realms and times
I fly on mounts of wondrous creatures
I fight wars of bloodshed wielding scheme, sword, and sentence
I fall in love

Yet I die with "The End"
because the life I live it's not my own
It's a collection of words, it's a collection of images
It's fiction

When "The End" is here, I am me
And my problems become mine
Reality must be acknowledged
But here as me is the last thing I want to be

this isn't love
this isn't love
this isn't love

What you have is a problem
your insecurities I don't want them on my shoulder
they're not mine to carry

you say you don't compare
you're just giving me a model to follow
but I can't be everything you've dreamed of

this isn't care
this isn't care
this isn't care

You say that it's all for me, what about my feelings?
every day is another problem with me
another complaint

my face
my body
my life

is there anything else you'd like to complain about?
Whatever do I have left for you to nitpick at?

What you want isn't me but your ideals
I'm sorry
I can't accept this kind of love, it's selfish and corrupt.

this isn't love
this isn't love
this isn't love.

To be born with more
means to grow receiving less

To be born stronger
means to grow with less care

To be born smarter
means to be left unattended

To be born with more
means to survive on your own
because you don't need help
you are enough on your own

But you know what will never be enough?
a love that was never given
because

to be born with more
means to be loved less.

WHy?
I've been screaming it in your face
End me before I do the same to you
If I had met you before
Would we still end up this way?
Before I went down this path
I could have turned around into your arms
Yet one of us must meet the cold embrace of death
by the point of the knife that each of us directs at the other
chaste kisses we share with knives digging into our hearts
we share a love
we share a hate
but our goals clash and so do our lives
we both will lose
but only one loses their life

Why did you hesitate?
If you give me an inch I'll take all that you love
End me swiftly and let me feel your love one last time
tender words we whisper in secret
glances we take when no one is looking
even our dances of death together is an act of love
a love doomed is better than none at all
our time was meant to be short
we can't come out together
your hands shake as your sword digs deeper into my skin
Don't you dare pull back



don't cry
if you can't bear to blacken your heart
I'll do it for you
Afterall I can't let my darkness touch your light
Just one tug inwards and I can finally rest in your arms

Let's meet again in another life
I'll give you my heart without the ugliness of the world clouding my intentions
I'll live for you
my hands won't ****
We'll embrace until our hair turns silver
In every life after that one we'll be together
just not this one

WHy?
I've been screaming it in your face
End me before I do the same to you
If I had met you before
Would we still end up this way?
Before I went down this path
I could have turned around into your arms
Yet one of us must meet the cold embrace of death
by the point of the knife that each of us directs at the other
chaste kisses we share with knives digging into our hearts
we share a love
we share a hate
but our goals clash and so do our lives
we both will lose
but only one loses their life

Why did you hesitate?
If you give me an inch I'll take all that you love
End me swiftly and let me feel your love one last time
tender words we whisper in secret
glances we take when no one is looking
even our dances of death together is an act of love
a love doomed is better than none at all
our time was meant to be short
we can't come out together
your hands shake as your sword digs deeper into my skin
Don't you dare pull back



don't cry
if you can't bear to blacken your heart
I'll do it for you
After all I can't let my darkness touch your light
Just one tug inwards and I can finally rest in your arms

Let's meet again in another life
I'll give you my heart without the ugliness of the world clouding my intentions
I'll live for you
my hands won't ****
We'll embrace until our hair turns silver
In every life after that one we'll be together
just not this one

A gardener once had 2 two seeds
they planted both in the same soil

one was healthy and robust
the other, weak and frail

Pitying the weak seed
the gardener gave special care

It was attentively fertilized,
watered meticulously,
weeds picked out regularly
sunlight regulated.

The gardener watched the weak seed
crying as it finally bloomed after all the struggle

Rejoicing, the Gardner turned to the healthy seed
but it had never sprouted.

Back to a much simpler time
When the past has passed
past: the present is a future you had only
heard about
past: The future decided on your very back
go back go back go back
You are small you are free
Fly back
far from the future that you seek

On the way home from class,
I slowed my rushed pace and
paused.

The usual rustle of leaves
bite of the brittle air
sting of sharp wind
was replaced with
a strange stillness

Like frozen time,
still and quiet,
wind absent,
cool air that comforted

I stared at the vibrant leaves
they were like bright embers
before ash
the spark of dazzling vivacity
before the end

I found peace
in the transience of
beauty
age
life
for just a moment
I was living for the moment
not for the past
not for the future

A moment I owned
that walk on a fall day.

I write to give a voice to the mute, the silent, the unable.
I write to paint the leaves on a long forgotten tree.
I write to remember all that has passed.
I write for those who can’t
I write for people, with people, to people, and at people
I write for a dream, to create and mold that dream
I write to argue with the known and to question the unknown
I write to give value to things that have been cast aside
I write for the joy, and the bliss
I write for the sadness, and the pain
I write the truth
I write the lies
I write for the perpetual and the transient.
I write, I read, I write, I speak, I write
The power my words hold, the beauty my words hold,
They empower and brighten this world.
They are the weapons I hold on my palette.
I wield them to leave an imprint on a white canvas,
A canvas, yet to be infested with my candor,
This world of taint
This world that my words, make drift away
Gone is the stress, strife, and worry
replaced by a fantasy, a story, a luxury
something reality can’t get a grasp on,
something that takes it all away.
My word is art.
My word is life.
My word can.
That is why I write.

If your lips brought me salvation
It was your words that condemned me

Your body that brought pleasure
Your intentions that brought pain

If I have known happiness
it was you
If I have known misery
it was you

It's always you