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Maryann I May 11
the wind no longer bites,
no voices call her name,

just the soft hush of rain
kissing the earth
where she once stood.

the ache,
the ever-splintering ache,
has grown quiet—
not from healing,
but from letting go.

she does not cry anymore.
not because she is numb—
but because she is free.
freer than the clouds
that used to pass her by.

bones unclench,
heart unhooks,
lungs forget the weight of air.


no more needles
in the chest of morning.
no more claws
in the gut of night.

her soul, a silver thread,
slips through the seams
of a worn-out sky,
and drifts.

it is peaceful here.
quiet, yes.

but not empty.

those who love her
will ache—
but only because she loved so deeply.
and now,
she rests.

hush—
let her rest.
Maryann I Mar 5
She has lived, she has wandered,
loved and lost, dreamed and fallen.
She is not untouched by time,
nor unshaken by the past.
But if she stands beside you now,
if she looks at you with eyes that see
not just who you are,
but who you are becoming,
what else matters?

She is not perfect—
neither are you.
Together, you may stumble,
may fumble through the dark,
may misunderstand and misstep.
But if she makes you laugh,
if she stirs your thoughts,
if she is unafraid to be real,
to be flawed, to be human—
hold onto her.

She may not think of you
every moment of the day,
but she will give you the one thing
that costs her most to lose—
her heart.
So handle it gently.
Don’t try to change her,
don’t measure her love against expectation,
don’t ask for more than she can give.

Instead—
smile when she brings you joy,
tell her when she makes you ache,
and when she is gone,
miss her.
Maryann I May 23
I cradle aches
like heirlooms—
not mine,
but remembered

deep in the joints of memory,
where silence once slept
in rooms with hollow lullabies.

I press cool cloths
to fevered skin
with hands that once reached
into shadow
and came back empty.

Now they are full—
of bandages,
of borrowed grace,
of tenderness sewn like stars
into every rough seam.

I stir soup
as if it were a spell,
watching steam rise
like ghosts of things
I used to need:

a steady voice,
a soft no,
arms that didn’t shake.

To care
is to time-travel—

to give the child inside me
what she never received
by giving it
to someone else.

Each thank you
is a stitch
in the tear I carry.


Each healed wound
in another
is a whisper to mine:
you’re not forgotten.
“You like taking care of people because it heals the part of you that needed someone to take care of you.”
Maryann I Mar 3
Frost laces the earth —
a quiet diamond veil,
whispers of smoke rise,
spilling through the breath of trees.

Snow, soft as forgotten dreams,
drifts over stones, over roots,
its silence pressing close,
like a hand on the chest of night.

The wind, thin and sharp,
skims the hollow of the hills,
pulling shadows into its folds,
sewing the moon into the bones of the sky.

Bare branches stretch,
clawing toward a distant sun,
their fingers white and brittle,
writing cold prayers in the dark air.

Below, a river sleeps —
its pulse muted,
veiled under ice,
the valley cradles it in a long, slow sigh.

In the pause between seasons,
we linger —
half-light and half-shadow,
breathing the fragile quiet of winter,
waiting for what is to come.
I’ve been trying out different writing styles and I’m still figuring out what I like.
Maryann I Jan 20
Beneath the weight of grief’s relentless tide,
Where shadows linger, and the heart must yield,
A softer voice, a quiet light, abides,
To mend the wounds no time alone can heal.

The earth still turns, though loss has stilled the air,
And every dawn is edged with tender pain.
Yet love remains, a flame beyond compare,
A whispered vow: their light is not in vain.

The winds that sigh through ancient oaks and pines
Carry the echoes of their cherished song,
A melody that threads through fragile minds,
A promise that the soul still journeys on.

In every tear, a memory takes flight,
In every ache, a bond no death can break.
Their laughter dwells within the quiet night,
Their love, a gift the heart will not forsake.

So let the sorrow come, but not despair,
For in the stillness, consolation grows.
The ones we’ve lost are never far, but there,
In every bloom and every breeze that blows.
Maryann I Feb 18
I was carrying a castle Lego set,
Walking into the room with hands full,
But the room was messy,
The floor a trap.
I tripped,
A misstep,
And the castle crashed,
A thousand tiny pieces scattered—
Shattered like the calm before the storm.

Her eyes burned with fury.
And then—
The first blow hit.
A slap to my face.
Her hand, heavy and fast,
Like a thunderclap that split the air.

She grabbed me by my hair,
Fingers tight like claws,
Yanking me down,
Screaming.
Punches to my head,
Fists that felt like bricks.
And when I didn’t fall fast enough,
She slammed my face into the wall.
The concrete cold and unforgiving.

She didn’t stop.
She kicked me.
Stomped on me.
Before she shed the weight,
She weighed two hundred pounds or more—
And her anger had no limits.

She climbed on top of me,
Crushing me beneath her,
Screaming in my ear—
Words that were sharper than the blows.
A blur of rage and hatred,
And I couldn’t breathe.

My father,
He came when he heard the noise,
Dragged her off me,
Locked her away,
But the damage was done,
And my body bore the marks.
Bruises, scratches, teeth imprints,
Pain that carved its memory deep.
But the hate didn’t stop there.

I remember everything.

When I lied about something—
Something I can’t even recall now.
And she made me clean—
The whole house.
From top to bottom.
Exhausted,
I collapsed into the bathroom,
My body aching.

When she found me,
Resting,
She turned the world to fire.
The beating began again—
She screamed,
Threw appliances at me,
Shoved me against the walls.
My head was shoved into the toilet,
Into the sink—
Water and metal,
Cold and suffocating.

She bit my ears,
Screamed so loud,
Everything went muffled.
Her words were poison,
Sharp and biting.
The towels hit me,
Wetted and cruel,
Like whips lashing my skin.

She sprayed cleaning products—
In my face,
On my body,
Tears mixing with chemicals.
And I had no escape.

I remember everything.

I remember what it felt like to be nothing but the target of her rage,
Her disappointment wrapping itself around me like chains.
I remember her words—
Filling the empty spaces in the house,
Breaking me down,
Every scream,
Every hit,
Until all I could do was survive.

But the hardest part—
Was that even after it all,
I still wanted her love.
And I couldn’t escape her shadow,
Even when the bruises healed.
This poem reflects some of the most painful moments of my childhood. It was hard for me to even consider sharing these memories, as they involve abuse and neglect from my mother, who was supposed to be a source of love and safety. The vivid memories of fear, pain, and helplessness are not easy to face, but they are a part of my story. Writing this poem was a way for me to process and confront the trauma that has shaped who I am today.

While it was difficult to express these experiences, I felt it was important to bring them to light, not for pity or sympathy, but to acknowledge my past and the strength it took to survive. In sharing this, I hope to connect with others who may have faced similar struggles, to remind them that they are not alone, and that their pain is valid. This poem is both a confession and a form of reclaiming my voice.

Now, I do have another confessional poem that I would like to upload, but I am worried about how some may feel towards it. I'm a bit nervous because it's longer and goes even further into what I've experienced with my mother and how she's treated me and my siblings. It's a painful topic, but I believe that it's important to get these feelings out and to let others see how deep the relationship is that I have with her.
Maryann I Mar 2
The echoes hum of paths not taken,
soft as sighs the wind has spun,
whispers trace the dreams forsaken,
things undone, the race unrun.

A fleeting glance, a step unsteady,
a hand not held, a word unsaid,
a love that lingered, never ready,
a spark that burned but quickly fled.

The door half-open, never entered,
the letter lost upon the tide,
a name once spoken, now surrendered,
to silence deep and time denied.

Regret, a shadow, lingers lowly,
mourning what we failed to claim,
yet life moves on, though sad and slowly,
softly sighing just the same.
Maryann I Mar 31
No one owns your body.
No one has the right to take.
No one has the right to push.

It’s okay to say no.
Even when they say you’re leading them on.
Even when they say you owe them.
Even when they say you don’t mean it.

It’s okay to say no.
Even when your voice shakes.
Even when your hands tremble.
Even when you feel small.

It’s okay to say no.
Even when you’re afraid.
Even when you don’t know what will happen next.
Even when they won’t stop.

It’s your body.
It’s your choice.
It’s your right.
Do they have the right to take what’s not given?
No.
Maryann I Mar 15
I’ve lost count—
was it the fourth winter or the seventh spring
when the silence curled too tightly around my ribs,
and I mistook it for peace?
When the night stopped being a comfort
and started swallowing me whole?

I’ve lost count—
of how many times I’ve stood at the edge of the thought,
toe curling over the ledge,
heartbeat whispering, ”this time, maybe.”
Of how often I’ve written letters I never mailed,
just to prove to myself I was still worth a goodbye.

There were nights I rehearsed my exit
like a prayer no one would answer—
softly, solemnly,
just in case the universe was listening.

I’ve forgotten the shape of my first goodbye,
but I remember the echo—
how it rang in my bones long after the moment passed,
how it became a second heartbeat,
steady and hollow.

How many bottles did I uncap,
not to swallow,
but to measure the weight of the idea in my palm?
How many bridges did I cross,
wondering if the wind would take mercy
and push me before I had to decide?

I’ve counted calendar days like scars,
tallied time in tear-salted pillowcases,
marked milestones not by celebration,
but by survival.

There’s a number for everything—
beats per minute, breaths per hour,
how long it takes for a wound to scab,
how many milligrams it takes to numb a scream—
but there is no metric
for how many times a soul tries to disappear.

People ask why I’m so tired.
I smile,
because how do you explain
what it means to dig yourself out of your own grave
again and again
with bare, trembling hands?

But still—
I wake up.
Not always because I want to.
Sometimes just because I didn’t succeed.

And yet—
I’m still here.
Tired, yes.
Heavy with ghosts I haven’t named.
But here.

And that has to count for something.
This year has been overwhelming, to say the least. But through it all, I’ve been fighting—holding on, trying to stay grounded just a little longer, enough to heal and find myself again. I want to express my deep gratitude to this community, which has been a place of solace when I needed it most. To those who have listened to my vents, offered comfort, or simply acknowledged my pain, your presence has meant more than words can capture. Your quiet support has been a lifeline, and I am truly thankful for it.
Maryann I Apr 15
The world begins in whispers,
a hush of dew across the blades,
soft-footed clouds curling above
a sky too shy to burn.

Dandelions hold their breath,
drifting wishes in golden pause,
while robins hum lullabies
to the waking hush of trees.

In this untouched hour,
the wind plays only gentle games,
skipping stones across the lake,
never daring to ripple the still.

There is no urgency here,
only the quiet kindness of time,
the sleepy smiles of sunbeams,
and the innocence of the world
before it remembers to rush.

Maryann I Nov 2024
In the quiet dusk, beneath a gray-veiled sky,
A woman stood by the river's edge, alone.
Her name was Liliana, a flower in the wind,
Once vibrant, now wilting in the twilight of her years.


Her tears fell silently, mingling with the soft rain,
As she watched the petals she had plucked, one by one,
Drift down the river, a gentle procession of loss.
Each petal was a memory, a whisper of love,
Now carried away by the relentless current.


Liliana's hands, once tender and warm,
Were now cold, trembling like the autumn leaves.
She had loved once, with a heart as open as the sky,
But time had withered that love, like flowers left to fade.


She followed the petals with her gaze,
As they floated down the stream,
Disappearing into the distance,
Where the river met the horizon,
And the sky kissed the earth with a sorrowful sigh.


The rain washed over her, a cleansing balm,
But the pain remained, buried deep within,
A thorn that refused to be dislodged.
And as the last petal vanished from view,
Liliana whispered a name,
One that the wind carried away,
To mingle with the rain and tears,
Forever lost in the river of forgotten dreams.
Maryann I Feb 19
It starts with fireworks,
explosions of light
too bright to question,
too dazzling to resist.
Every word is a spark,
every touch a flame
burning so beautifully
you forget the heat can hurt.

They paint the world in colors
you didn’t know you could see,
build castles in the clouds
with promises that taste
too sweet to swallow.
You believe in the fairy tale
because their voice makes it real,
because the story
is what you’ve always wanted to hear.

But the glitter fades,
the echoes grow cold,
and the castle crumbles
when the walls were never meant to stand.
You find yourself
in the ashes of their affection,
trying to piece together
what was real
and what was only a game.

The silence comes next—
a void where their voice once lived.
You wonder if it’s your fault,
if the spark died because
you didn’t burn brightly enough.
But the truth whispers slowly:
it was never your fire they craved,
only the power
of holding the match.
Love Bombing Experience: My ex overwhelmed me with intense affection, expensive gifts, and big promises—talking about marriage early on, showering me with excessive attention, and moving things faster than I was comfortable with. As my first relationship, I didn’t recognize the warning signs. I believed the love was real until my friends helped me see that it was all just a game of control and manipulation. My ex was a gaslighter, twisting my feelings and making me question my own reality. I wish my first experience with love could have been better—something real, healthy, and built on trust rather than deception.
Maryann I Mar 3
You hear it, soft at first,
A whisper in the night,
A fluttering breath on your ear,
A wish that won’t take flight.
Love me,
Love  me.


The pulse quickens,
The shadows grow longer,
Each moment stretching
Like time has forgotten itself.
Love   me,
Love    me,
Love     me.


It clings like the air,
A taste on your tongue,
Unspoken, yet loud enough to drown.
The silence thickens—
Can you hear it?
Love      me,
Love       me,
Love        me,
Love         me.


It’s all that exists now,
A cage you can’t escape,
The need spirals deeper,
Faster, tighter,
Love          me.
Love           me.
Love          me.
Love         me,
Love        me.


The walls close in,
The words no longer hold weight,
Just a chant,
A prayer,
A broken record.
Love       me.
Love       me.
Love     me.
Love    me.
Love   me.
Love  me.


Love me?
This poem was originally an experiment in shape poetry, but I decided to take a different approach. Instead, I focused on spacing and repetition to create a gradual descent into obsession, evoking a spiraling effect. Inspired by the hypnotic structure of Angel by Massive Attack,” this piece builds intensity until it collapses into a final, lingering question.

(I’m still not sure if I like it… tell me what you think!)
Velvet sunlight in my palm,
a golden globe, blushing
with the scent of summer.

One bite—
nectar floods like monsoon rain,
dripping down my chin,
hot, sweet, unstoppable.

It tastes like July.
Like heatwaves resting on your tongue,
like skin kissed by dusk.

Flesh so tender it trembles,
ripe and reckless,
honey tangled in citrus silk
and firelight.

The juice—
a soft explosion,
a sunbeam melting into flesh,
a kiss that lingers.

I lick my fingers
like a prayer,
grateful,
greedy,
laughing.

It’s not food.
It’s a spell,
a secret,
a world inside a fruit.

I close my eyes
and the taste stays—
warm, wild, alive.
Maryann I Nov 2024
Mary, a name, not just a whisper,
But a haunting echo of a wrong,
An imprint left by years of scorn,
Borne on the breath of regret and sorrow.


Mary, the syllables heavy,
Each letter a shackle to history,
Carrying the weight of unspoken grudges,
Of mistakes and broken promises.


The eyes that once shone with innocent hope,
Now dulled by the tarnish of disdain,
Mary—each mention a scrape of bitterness,
A reminder of all that’s been lost.


In the hollow spaces where your name lingers,
The silence screams louder than words,
Regret twisting like thorns around the memory,
Sadness pooling where love once dared to tread.


Mary, an echo of a choice not taken,
A ghost in the mirror of faded dreams,
You bear the brunt of every forgotten apology,
A name suffused with the agony of the past.


In the rooms where once was laughter,
Now only the hollow chime of contempt,
Mary—crushed beneath the weight of expectations,
A symbol of what might have been.


Forgive us, for we know not the damage,
The cruel irony of naming, the sharp sting,
Of turning beauty into a battlefield,
Where every utterance is a scar.


Mary, cursed with the burden
Of an inheritance you never sought,
Your name, a shadow of what was lost,
A testament to the bitterness we carry.
Maryann I Mar 7
They call it a gift,
this body of mine,
but every month it gnaws at itself,
chews the lining of my womb,
spits out blood like a sacrifice
to a world that does not care.

I step outside,
eyes crawl up my skin like ants,
like maggots,
like fingers that never asked for permission.
A whistle slits the air—
a razor against my spine—
I swallow the bile, keep walking.

Mother said, don’t wear that
Father said, boys will be boys
I say nothing—
only dig my nails into my palms,
so deep the crescent moons bloom red.

I dream of shedding this skin,
peeling it back like an overripe fruit,
scraping out the parts that feel *****,
that feel weak,
that feel like they do not belong to me.
I want to be new,
to be sharp,
to be something they cannot touch.

But even in dreams,
they chase me.
Even in dreams,
I run.
Maryann I Mar 24
When the clock strikes 12, the world exhales,
And silence spills through shadowed trails.
A hush falls soft on rooftops steep,
While stars begin their solemn sweep.

The moon slips on her silver veil,
A whisper carried by the gale.
Curtains dance to unseen hands,
As midnight casts its quiet demands.

Time bends in that fleeting chime,
A bridge between the day and time
Where secrets stir and spirits wake,
And dreams slip through the cracks they make.

Old wishes echo in the air,
Unspoken hopes, half-spun despair.
A fox tiptoes through garden dew,
The world turns dark, then strangely new.

Lovers kiss in borrowed light,
Owls take flight into the night.
The clock ticks on, a lullaby,
For those who ache, for those who cry.

When the clock strikes 12, beware—
Magic hums through midnight air.
And if you listen close, you’ll hear
The heartbeats of another sphere.
12:00
03/24/2025
Maryann I Mar 2
You hold my words like treasures,
tucking them away in the folds of your heart,
saving each photo, each whisper,
as if they are pieces of me you never want to lose.

You say my name like it’s something soft,
something safe, something yours.
I hear it in the way you miss me,
in the way you tell me I’m beautiful,
as if the word was meant only for me.

Every little message, every sleepy thought,
you catch them, hold them, answer them—
never letting them fade into silence.
You listen, you see me, all of me,
not just what the world sees, but what I am.

You don’t just want my touch,
you want my mind, my dreams, my poetry.
You let me be the poet, and you, my muse—
but I think you are the real poem,
the kind that lingers long after the words are read.

And if love is a dream, then let me never wake,
because with you, every moment feels real.
Maryann I Apr 7
The walls don’t echo anymore.
The sound of your voice
used to cling to the corners
like dusk settling in the seams—
now there’s just
stillness
that chokes.

I say your name
like a dropped plate
shattering in an empty hallway—
and you
don’t
flinch.

The space between us
is crowded with things
you’ll never say.
Your silence is a scythe
trimming down
my worth.

Every glance you avoid
draws a chalk outline
around the version of me
you no longer see.

I water the air with apologies
that never bloom.
You offer nothing,
and still,
I bend
like sun-starved vines
toward the warmth
of nothing.


How loud you are
without a single word.

silent treatment
Maryann I Apr 29
Step in—
my mind is an ocean
not blue—but a bleeding iridescence
of molten violets, rusted golds,
and bruised, unraveling ceruleans—
a palette spilled by a god having a dream.

You’ll see thoughts float here
like jellyfish lanterns,
soft, slow—laced in venom or velvet—
depending on how you look.

The sky never ends in here.
It folds like cracked parchment,
stretched over the aching arch
of my imagination’s bones.

There are trees made of bone-white whispers
and flowers with petals like flame-licked lace.
They bloom to the rhythm
of my pulse when I’m panicking,
and wilt under the weight
of a silence I can’t swallow.

There’s a path—
etched in the ink of dreams I didn’t chase—
it winds through forests of
regret-shaped branches
that scratch and caress all at once.

If you look to the left—
you’ll see a lake
made of every word I’ve never said.
It shimmers,
but only under the moon
of someone else’s approval.

Birds here don’t fly,
they unravel.
Each feather a fractured metaphor,
each call a dirge sewn with sunlight.

I hide in corners lit by memory—
a field of crooked constellations,
each one a version of me
you’ll never meet,
but will almost understand.

If you stay too long,
you’ll forget your name,
start to speak in echoes,
and dream in static.
But maybe that’s the point.
Maybe that’s the way
to really see me.
Maryann I Feb 25
Love is the quiet certainty of morning,
the warmth of sunlight slipping through the blinds,
touching my skin like a whispered promise:
I am here, and I will always return.

It is the steady rhythm of a heart not my own,
the echo of laughter I can still hear in the silence,
the way your voice turns my name
into something softer, something sacred.

Love is not just the grand confessions,
not just the roses and candlelit nights—
it is the hand that reaches for mine
without thinking, without hesitation,
as if our fingers were always meant to intertwine.

It is the way you tilt your head when you’re listening,
the way you tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear,
the way you turn ordinary moments into poetry
without ever writing a single word.

Love is the gravity that keeps me steady,
the pull of the moon on restless tides,
the way your presence feels like home
even when I am far from everything familiar.

It is the space between heartbeats,
the hush before a kiss,
the silence that somehow speaks louder than words—
a promise that does not need to be spoken:
I am yours, and I always will be.
Maryann I Nov 2024
Oh, humble pen,
You are the voice of my silent thoughts,
A river of ink that flows with my dreams.
In your slender form,
Lies the power to birth worlds,
To carve emotions into paper's skin,
To whisper the secrets of my soul.


What are you, but a vessel of words?
Yet, within you, lives the spark of creation.
You dance across the page,
Trailing ideas like the stars in the night sky,
Binding them in the constellations of my mind.


Do you not see, oh simple pen,
The weight you bear?
More than just ink and metal,
You hold the essence of my being,
The dreams I dare not speak,
The fears I cannot name,
The love I yearn to share.


But what is love, without your gentle touch? 
Without you, the words remain trapped, 
Unformed, unspoken, 
Like a songbird caged within my heart. 


And yet, you are silent, 
Your power dormant until called upon, 
Resting in my hand, waiting, 
For the moment when thought meets ink, 
And the world shifts, 
From nothing to something, 
From silence to symphony. 


Oh, pen, do you know your worth? 
In your simplicity, you hold infinity, 
A universe within each stroke, 
A life within each line. 


And as you lie there, resting, 
Do you dream of the stories yet to be told? 
Do you yearn for the touch of my hand, 
To bring forth the tales locked within my heart? 
Or do you wait in quiet anticipation, 
For the next breath, the next thought, 
The next journey we shall embark on together? 


Oh, pen, You are more than just a tool, 
You are a companion, a confidant, 
The keeper of my deepest truths, 
The bridge between my mind and the world. 

 
In you, I find solace, 
In you, I find strength, 
In you, I find my voice. 


And so, I honor you, humble pen, 
For in your ink, I am reborn, 
With each word, 
each line, 
I become, 
I am, 
I write.
Maryann I Feb 26
Oh, restless ache that stirs my soul,
a whisper woven in the wind,
you call with voices soft and low,
yet echo deep, yet burn within.

You stretch beyond my mortal hold,
a silver thread, a trembling light,
a distant hand I cannot grasp,
yet reach for still in endless flight.

To yearn is but to walk the edge,
to chase the dawn, to beg the night,
to thirst for what the stars conceal,
to wander lost yet burn so bright.

You shimmer in the lover’s sigh,
in letters sent but left unread,
in lips that part with words unsaid,
in dreams that wake and turn to dust.

To yearn is but to know the ache
of time that bends but does not break,
of shadows cast by what could be,
of steps retraced through memory.

Oh, yearning, cruel and bittersweet,
you press your weight against my chest,
a longing not for what has been,
but for the dream I never met.

I hold you close, though you are pain,
for you are proof that I still live—
a heart unscarred by hollow days,
a soul that dares, that dares to give.
Yearning is both a hunger and a heartbeat—an ache for something just out of reach, a dream that lingers on the edge of reality.  

————

I love writing based on topics, words, or themes that others give me. What should I write about next?
Maryann I Apr 16
your breath is sunlight melting frost on my skin,
your silence—moonlight in a velvet sky,
quiet, yet immense,
a hush that makes the world listen.


i wandered through golden fields,
barefoot in the hush of morning,
dew-kissed and drowsy,
where clouds drift like old lullabies—
and you,
you were waiting at the edge of dusk,
painted in indigo.

we don’t chase,
we revolve.

a soft orbit,
sunrise in your laughter,
midnight in my gaze.
we meet in the in-between—
horizon-blue, dream-drenched,
the hush of stars watching.

your warmth never scorches,
your cool never chills.
just balance.
just breath.
just
us.
Maryann I Mar 17
I miss you like the moon misses the tide—
drawn toward you in quiet gravity,
yet left to glow alone in the hush
of a sky too wide, too still, too far.

I miss you like wind through a field of lilies,
brushing soft petals that don’t respond.
Like a ghost breeze sighing through curtains,
hoping you might return through the door.

You are the fog in my early mornings,
the warmth my coffee fails to mimic,
the soft indentation in my pillow
where your dreams used to rest beside mine.

I miss you in colors—
in the pale peach of sunset clouds,
in the silver hush of midnight rain,
in the gold that glimmers through memory’s lace.

I miss you in textures—
in velvet air after thunder,
in the silk of whispered goodnights,
in the ache behind every slow breath.

You echo in the spaces between stars,
your name hidden in stardust trails,
your touch a distant hum in my bones—
faint, but ever pulsing beneath my skin.

Even time seems to unravel without you—
hours stretch like candle wax down my spine,
and every clock tick is a heartbeat
that forgets how to beat right without yours.

I find you in the oddest places—
a song half-heard on a street corner,
the scent of rain on a stranger’s coat,
a poem I didn’t mean to write, but did.

I miss you in ways I don’t know how to explain—
with a love that doesn’t settle,
a yearning that spills past language,
a soul ache that dreams of you in petals and tidepools.

And still,
somehow,
I keep missing you more.
She bites the pomegranate—
not with hunger,
but with a soft kind of ache,
like remembering a song too late at night.

Juice ribbons down her wrist
in rivulets of rubies,
sanguine silk,

each seed a small beating heart
she swore she’d never swallow.

The orchard hums—
a low, bone-deep thrum of honey-thick dusk,
where shadows sleep in the eyes of foxes,
and the air tastes like cinnamon secrets.

There is gravity in sweetness,
a tug between teeth and truth.
She thinks: love is a fruit with a rind too thin to protect it
and eats anyway.

Inside her chest:
a garden blooming in reverse—
petals folding,
color bleeding into absence,

the sound of something unripening.

She is full now—
of myth, of molten memory,
of something holy and ruinous.
She smiles,
and the world forgets
what season it is.
Maryann I Mar 19
I loved you like spring loves the thaw,
like lungs crave air,
like art bleeds from the soul of the artist.
And I thought love was enough
to keep the thorns from drawing blood.
I thought devotion would bloom into safety—
but I was only watering a graveyard.

The sickness started slow.
First, a cough—
a whisper of rose dust on my tongue.
Then came the petals,
delicate at first,
pink and trembling with hope.
I cradled them like confessions,
believed they were proof of love.

But they kept coming—
petal after petal,
each one heavy with what you wouldn’t give back.
You kissed me with a smile,
while my lungs filled with flowers
planted by hands that never loved me,
only held me for convenience,
for control,
for conquest.

You were a storm beneath soft skin,
a poison wrapped in perfume.
And I loved you—
God, I loved you,
even while you killed parts of me
with your indifference,
even before I knew the rot ran deeper
than abandonment.

Now I know.
Now I know what you are.
A ****** draped in sunlight,
a predator with a paintbrush smile.
You painted me pretty,
then picked me apart.
And I mistook the pain for passion,
your silence for mystery,
your selfishness for sadness.

My body remembers every time
you touched without love,
every moment I mistook trauma for intimacy.
The petals grew darker—
maroon now,
coated in blood,
choking me from within.

I coughed them into my hands,
and still whispered your name
as if you’d come back with kindness,
as if you were ever kind.

I don’t want to mourn you.
I want to mourn me—
the version of me who still believed in you,
who still thought love was supposed to hurt
but not like this.
Never like this.

Hanahaki, they call it—
the disease of unreturned love.
But this isn’t love anymore.
This is grief.
This is rage.
This is survival.

And someday,
someday I’ll breathe again,
clear-chested, flowerless,
free.
This is an older poem written during a difficult time in my life. I’ve since found healing and am now in a healthy, loving relationship. It took time to recover, but things are getting better, and I’m learning to grow from the pain.
Maryann I Apr 1
I’m sorry
I’m so sorry
I’m trying
I’m really trying

believe me

I gave in again
I gave in to the voices again
I—
cut myself again

please

please forgive me
please—
I didn’t mean to—
no, I did
but not like that
not to hurt you
but now it feels like I did

please don’t leave me

not like she did

please
stay a little longer
just a while
just—
forever?
I’ll get better, I promise

I promise

I just—
I can’t be alone
not in this house
not in this war-zone of a home
where voices break more than silence
where hands break more than glass

I—
I can’t stay here
or I fear—
no, I know—
the darkness will take me

please,
my love—
forgive me

you said
you’d never leave
you said
you’d stay
but what if one day
you get tired?

what if you see
I’m not something
you can fix?

what if
I never mend?

I don’t want to be like this forever.

but I’m scared

because all I’ve ever known
is hurt
instead of love

they were supposed to be better—
the ones who took us in
but the mother had fists like storms
and the father—
I don’t want to say it
but it stays inside me like rot

and now—
no, now I sound like I want pity
like I want someone to look at me
to see me

social media says
I’m an attention seeker
for saying this
for feeling this
for needing someone to listen

even my own therapist feels like a lie

what was I even talking about?

…oh

cutting myself

I got carried away, didn’t I?
I always do.

I’m just—
I don’t know
I don’t know how to stop
I don’t know how to let go

the grudge I hold—
it’s eating me alive

I’m sorry
I’m so sorry
I—

I put more scars into my body
again
again
again


if they find out
they’ll send me away
they’ll—

please
please don’t let them

please help me

please—


Maryann,
help me.
At first, it seems
I write for love—
a plea, a whisper,
“stay, forgive me.”

But as the ink spills,
the truth unravels—
these words aren’t for them.
They are for me.

A cry I cannot speak,
a confession I cannot hold.
The more I write,
the more the lines blur—

between seeking comfort
and fearing that no one
will ever truly stay.
Maryann I Mar 18
I don’t know how many ways
I can say please don’t go.
My voice is threadbare,
worn thin by the echo—
of every time I’ve begged
a heart to stay.

Please.
I won’t raise my voice,
I won’t ask for forever.
Just this moment.
Just tonight.
Just your hand in mine
a little longer
before it slips
again
into silence.

Please stay—
even if the light is fading,
even if the world pulls
and your shadow stretches
farther from me
with each breath.

I’ve sung this tune before,
a chorus cracked from overuse—
the needle stuck
on don’t leave me, don’t leave me,
and still, I press repeat,
like maybe this time
it’ll end in a different verse.

Please.
Let this love
be more than a passing song.
Let it be the one
that plays
without goodbye
in every beat of us.

Please stay.
I’ve already lost so much.
Don’t be the next
ghost I whisper to
when the music
cuts out.

Please.
Maryann I Feb 24
Soft lullabies seep through the walls,
warped—distant—like voices underwater.
Fingers brush glassy skin,
but I can’t tell if they belong to me.

The air hums with a name I almost remember,
whispering in a language I used to know.
Something drips—tick, tick, tick—
but the clock’s hands are missing.

I step forward—
or maybe backward—
or maybe I don’t move at all.
My reflection flickers, too slow for the mirror,
folding inward like wet paper.

The room breathes.
The walls bend like candle wax.
A dove flutters behind my ribs,
but I can’t tell if it’s real.

Someone is calling.
Their voice sifts through my fingers like sand.
I open my mouth—
but the words fall straight through.

Everything is quiet.
Everything is slipping.
Everything is—
Maryann I Nov 2024
The petals open,
fragile as the thought of ending,
and the bloom sways,
unaware of the silence
growing around it.


Each breath is a weight,
pressing against the ribs,
like soil folding into the earth
underneath an endless sky.


The scent of death lingers
in the softness of the petals,
a sweetness too sharp,
too final.
It smells like surrender,
like the last exhale
before the body falls still.


The flower unfolds,
its beauty sharp as grief,
each layer a quiet plea
for release.
It opens with the same quiet violence
that consumes the soul,
waiting for a moment
when the pressure
becomes too much
to bear.


In the fading light,
you watch the petals curl,
and wonder if they, too,
wish to escape
the weight of their own bloom.


And yet, it's peaceful—
a slow descent
into the dark soil,
where the pressure finally stops,
and the bloom fades,
as all things must.
Inspired by the song "Pressure" by the artist Maebi
Maryann I Mar 21
The sky hums in hush-toned hymns,
a low lullaby spilled from clouded lips,
each droplet a note pressed into the pavement,
a whispered memory stitched in silver.

Windows shiver with ghost-sung verses,
curtains breathing with the rhythm of sorrow,
and the wind—a cello bow against the bones of trees—
tunes the ache beneath the leaves.

My heart is a rooftop, dented with echoes,
each raindrop tapping a forgotten name.
Love trickles down the spine of gutters,
flooding the roots of things I tried to bury.

A sigh in the storm drapes over the hills,
a velvet hush, soft as moth wings on skin,
and puddles bloom like mirrored portals,
reflecting versions of us that never unraveled.

I walk through the hush, barefoot and blinking,
as the world dissolves in a watercolor blur,
clouds unraveling like old lullabies,
and time dripping slower beneath the storm’s spell.

A single leaf spins a slow waltz in the wind,
a dancer suspended in the music of mourning,
and somewhere, in the hush between thunder,
I hear the song you never finished singing.

The rain writes elegies in rivulets,
soft verses sliding down windowpane spines,
and though the storm may pass without promise,
I press my ear to the dusk,
and still, I listen.

A gentle reflection on loss, memory, and the quiet things that linger in the rain.
Maryann I Feb 21
I scrub my hands, the color stays,
a crimson thread through all my days.
No river drowns, no fire burns,
the past still twists, the memory turns.

Their voice still lingers in the air,
a fading ghost, a hollow prayer.
I trace the steps I can’t erase,
shadows whisper, time won’t chase.

The mirror sighs, it knows my name,
a hymn of blame beneath its breath.
And though the world still spins the same,
I bear the weight—I wait for death.
3. The Weight of Guilt
Maryann I Apr 19
Dawn stretches golden over Guanabara Bay,
sugarloaf rising like a dream in stone.
Waves kiss the shore in samba rhythms—
each tide a whisper from the heart of Brazil.

Birdsong rains from the canopy,
scarlet macaws slicing morning light like brushstrokes.
The rainforest exhales its perfume—
a living mural swaying in greens and golds.

Cobblestone streets hum beneath bare feet,
colors bursting from murals and music.
The air tastes of mango and maracujá,
joy lingers in every sun-soaked laugh.

Ipanema gleams like a string of pearls,
bodies bronzed and basking in euphoria.
Even the breeze dances—
flirting with palms, curling through café songs.

From Lapa’s arches to Christ’s open arms,
the city holds you—wide-eyed, blooming.
And oh, to see Rio not just with eyes
but with your whole soul alight.
Rio de Janeiro
Maryann I Apr 20
(This message could save a life.)

The keys are in your hand.
Do not start the engine.
Do not listen to the whispers.
Do not believe you’re fine.

The road stretches dark ahead.
Do not trust the lights.
Do not trust the speed.
Do not trust the alcohol in your veins.

The night is too quiet.
Do not glance at the phone.
Do not look away from the wheel.
Do not think you have time.

The crash comes suddenly.
Do not wait for the sirens.
Do not wait for the screams.
Do not wait for the glass to shatter.

The blood on the asphalt doesn’t wash away.
Do not look at the damage you’ve done.
Do not ask who you’ve hurt.
Do not ask if you’ll ever forgive yourself.

(This message could save a life.)
Is drinking and driving really worth it?
Maryann I Apr 8
The sky does not always thunder,
some days it only hums—
a low lullaby in pastel blue,
resting on your windowpane.

There is beauty in stillness,
like dew-beads clinging to a spider’s thread,
fragile, glimmering, unseen
but alive.

You are not late.
The garden blooms when it’s ready—
not a moment before.
Even the moon takes its time
to become full.

So let yourself be tired.
Let the ache sit beside you.
It will not stay forever.
It knows you’re learning,
and learning is slow.

One day, the breath in your chest
will feel like enough.
The dawn will no longer feel
like a beginning you’ve missed.
You’ll sip morning light
and say,
I made it.

Not with fanfare,
not with fire—
but with soft feet
on soft earth,
and a heart that chose
to stay.

everything will be okay, someday.
Maryann I Mar 23
An absolute treasure,
Admirable, in every way,
With an affectionate heart,
And a presence alluring, bright as day.
An amiable soul,
With an angel face, so pure,
An angelic spirit,
A calm anchor, ever sure.

Appealing to all who meet,
An artistic touch, a heart so free,
With an artistic mind that dreams,
An aurora-bright light for me.
An awe-inspiring gaze,
My baby love, serene,
Balanced and beautiful,
A beacon of strength unseen.

My better half, you stand by me,
Big-hearted, full of grace,
Blooming with kindness,
Bold in every space.
Born of stardust, your soul’s a light,
Brave yet kind, you’re always right.
Breathtaking with every breath you take,
Your bright eyes make my heart awake.

You are brilliant, so bubbly,
A calming force,
The calm after chaos,
Like calm as snowfall, of course.
A calm-hearted lover,
Caring, always near,
A celestial light, so cheeky, so charming,
With a charming clown to cheer.

You’re classy, clever,
A comfort-maker, in every way,
Comforting, your touch is peace,
A comet-hearted friend to stay.
Considerate and cosmic beauty,
A cosmic magnet in my life,
A cozy feeling in your embrace,
Your courteous love ends all strife.

A cuddle magnet,
With Cupid’s charm,
You’re my cutie pie,
So dashing, with your arms.
You’re my day-maker,
A debonair dream,
Delightfully odd, so determined,
A devoted soul, it seems.

A diamond in the rough,
Distinct, a divine muse,
Your divine presence guides me,
Like a dream constellation, you diffuse.
My dreamboat, so dreamy,
A earth-woven spirit,
An eclipse of perfection,
So elegant with every merit.

Emotionally intelligent,
A embrace of calm you bring,
Empowering, you are always,
My enamoring king.
Enchanted prince, so endearing,
Energetic in spirit,
An entertaining soul,
Ethereal, a eternal flame to merit.

Exceptional, a being so rare,
You’re exceptional, beyond compare,
Eye-catching, so fearless you stand,
Fetching, your firelight soul expands.
So flawless, with a forest-humble soul,
Fresh as morning dew, you make me whole.
Friendly, always, fun-loving,
A galaxy-hearted being, rising above.

You’re gallant, a gem of light,
Generous, a genius, so gentle, too,
With a gentle breeze, and a gentle fire,
You bring me warmth, always true.
A gentle giant, your gentle presence,
Golden autumn warmth is yours,
A golden boy, golden-souled,
You are the one my heart adores.

So goofy, always gorgeous,
A graceful being, so grand in might,
Your gravity of love pulls me near,
So grounded, you’re my light.
A guardian angel,
Handsome as sin,
A harbor of peace,
With heart-holding within.

You’re my heart-lifter,
Heart-melting, you are pure,
A heart-resting peace,
So heart-soothing, for sure.
Heart-stopping, heart-throbbing,
Your heartwarming funny ways,
A heaven-sent gift,
A heavenly presence, always stays.

So helpful, so heroic,
The highlight of my life,
Honest-hearted, you bring honey-soul calm,
With your honey-toned voice, no strife.
A hope-restorer,
Iconic, you shine bright,
So impressive, my ink-stained dream,
With insightful, brilliant light.

You’re intelligent, irreplaceable,
A joy-bringer, full of cheer,
Joyful in spirit, so jovial,
You make every day bright, my dear.
You’re a jewel, so kindhearted,
With a knight of warmth in tow,
A laugh-creator, laugh-inducing,
Your leader-like love will always grow.

A legend in skin,
A legendary light,
Light in the dark,
You’re my light of my life, so right.
Light-bringer, my lighthearted love,
A love note in motion,
The love of my life,
You are my deepest emotion.

You’re love-struck, love-wrapped,
A lovebug, so lovesome, too,
Loving, loyal to the core,
My magic wrapped in skin, so true.
A magnificent, majestic force,
Matchless, mature and nurturing soul,
Mature beyond years, you are,
With a meadow-soft heart, whole.

Your mental beauty is clear,
So merciful, and mesmerizing,
A meteor of wonder,
With a mind-blowing soul, rising.
You’re mindful, so miraculous,
Missed even when near,
A modern-day hero,
With moonbeam eyes so dear.

A moonlit soul,
Mountain-strong with might,
Movie-star gorgeous,
You are my Mr. Right in sight.
My Mr. Wonderful,
My Apollo, you glow,
My calm after chaos,
You’re the light in my low.

My daylight in dusk,
My everything, you see,
My favorite sentence,
My heart, forever to be.
You’re my heart’s favorite song,
My home, my moon, so bright,
My muse, my safe chapter,
You are my heart’s light.

My safe rhythm,
My soft place, so dear,
My steady ground,
A myth brought to life, always near.
Mythical rarity,
Nurturing in grace,
Neat, you are,
Night-sky brilliance fills your space.

Noble, noble-looking,
With a northern light soul,
Observant, ocean-deep heart,
One-in-a-million whole.
One-of-a-kind, so orbit-worthy,
Out-of-this-world love shines,
Otherworldly lover,
You are forever mine.

Passionate, patient,
Peace-giver, so peaceful,
Peaceful warrior,
With a pegasus soul so beautiful.
Perfectly sculpted,
Perceptive, full of grace,
A petal-soft smile,
You are my perfect place.

Phenomenal, philosophical,
Picture-perfect every way,
You’re a pillow for the soul,
Playful, bright, night and day.
Pleasant, a poet’s dream,
So polished, precious, true,
Profound, protective,
Pure-hearted, all for you.

Quirky, quick-minded,
Quiet strength, always bright,
Quietly powerful,
You are my light.
Radiant, radiantly handsome,
Rain-kissed spirit, you shine,
A rare, ravishing soul,
Real and rooted, divine.

Reflective, regal,
Remarkable, a treasure untold,
Remarkably different,
Reliable, strong as gold.
You’re resilient, river-smooth,
Rooted and real,
My safe arms,
A safe haven, where I heal.

Safe space, secure and loving,
Selfless, sensational light,
Seraphic, a serene spirit,
You are my peace at night.
Serenity-bringer,
Sharp-witted and bold,
A shining light,
Your love is gold.

A shooting star soul,
So silly in the best way,
Singular, a smile-stirrer,
Your soft, kind heart leads the way.
A soft-spoken angel,
A softie, pure and true,
Solid-hearted,
Soul-connecting, you.

A soul-deep kind,
So soulful, bright and clear,
Soul-grounding, soul-nourishing,
You’re the love I hold dear.
Soul-saver, soul-softening,
Soul-soothing always,
You are the soulful light,
In my life’s endless maze.

A special soul,
Spellbinding, you stay,
Spirited, star-kissed,
A starboy in every way.
Your starlight smile
Is a stellar ray,
Steady, my steady and safe love,
You are my heart’s play.

So strong but soft,
With strong-minded grace,
Stunning, sublime presence,
A subtle strength in your face.
Sugar eyes, summer-sweet,
A sunbeam in human form,
You’re my sunshine,
My sunshine in human form—my warm.

Super cute,
Superb, my star,
Supportive, you’re my supreme,
My sweet as spring rain, you are.
Sweet-natured, my sweet soul,
A sweetheart, sweet-talking, too,
A symphony of kindness,
You make the world new.

You’re the color in my grayscale,
The hug I crave,
The line I’d always reread,
You’re the metaphor for joy, my wave.
The one, my poem I never stop writing,
The punctuation to my soul,
The rhythm in my soul,
You’re my heart’s goal.

The sigh between heartbeats,
The softest verse, so bright,
Thoughtful, thoughtful soul,
Thought-provoking light.
A thunder-hearted,
Titan of tenderness to hold,
You’re top-tier,
A tranquil, endless love, so bold.

You’re my treasure,
True gentleman, so right,
A true original,
Truehearted, my light.
You’re trustworthy,
Unforgettable in every way,
With your unique essence,
Unmatched, you forever stay.

Unparalleled, unrepeatable,
Unshakable love is yours,
Universe-wrapped,
Upright, my love restores.
Valuable, you’re valiant,
A visionary, so true,
Warm, my warm hug in human form,
Warmhearted, always you.

You’re a warrior of kindness,
So well-groomed, full of cheer,
Wild and beautiful,
A wildflower soul near.
Winsome, wise,
Wise beyond your years,
Wonderful,
World-class, through all my fears.

You are worthy,
Xenial in nature,
Welcoming and warm,
Xtraordinary, you shine,
A love beyond form.

Yearningly kind,
Your heart always true,
Yellow-sun smile,
Brightens the world, too.

A love like none before,
My zen,
You are my heart’s core.
Zenith of love,
A zen-like presence, so sweet,
Zealous for life,
You make me complete.
To my sweet boy:
Please let this love last forever,
For in your heart, I’ve found my home,
And with you, I am whole.
Maryann I Feb 23
Your eyes hold galaxies untold,
A story written soft in gold.
Your laughter spins like whispered spells,
A melody where wonder dwells.

Your touch ignites a world anew,
A spark that burns in deepest blue.
No logic here, no earthly rule—
Just magic made when I found you.

And in your arms, the world unwinds,
A dream made real, a fate designed.
No greater trick, no grander art,
Than love that lifts and binds the heart.
7. A Love That Feels Like Magic
Maryann I Feb 21
I placed my faith within your hands,
each promise carved in sacred stone.
Yet time has turned them into sand,
and now I stand here, lost, alone.

You spoke in silk, in honeyed air,
but all your words were woven lies.
A dagger laced with love and care,
hidden well behind your eyes.

I stitched the wounds, I bit my tongue,
still tasting rust, still breathing ache.
Some ghosts may haunt, but you, my love,
you chose to watch me break.
7. Betrayal and Broken Trust
Maryann I Apr 27
The sky spills liquid gold across the fields,
and every blade of grass hums a bright song,
ripples of honey laughter swim through the air,
as the trees burst into wild, kaleidoscopic blooms.

Clouds skip like stones across a sapphire lake,
the wind flutes silver melodies through the valley,
and the mountains wear crowns of glittering flame,
grinning, howling, singing at the top of their lungs.

The rivers are ribbons of melted stars,
the earth quivers with candy-colored sparks,
and hearts—oh, hearts!—
they pop like fireworks in a velvet sky,
sending ripples of giggling stardust everywhere.

Every breath tastes of spun sugar and sunlight,
every blink unwraps a prism of newborn wonder,
and my soul—my soul!—
is a thousand kites soaring, shrieking, bursting,
carried far beyond the hills of happiness.
Maryann I Feb 23
A child’s laugh, a dandelion’s flight,
The first soft touch of morning light.
A hummingbird’s wings, a sigh in the breeze,
The rustling hush of autumn trees.

The way your fingers brush through mine,
The sweetness held in borrowed time.
Happiness hums in the simplest things,
In teacup warmth and sparrow wings.

The world may rush, the clock may race,
But joy is found in time’s embrace.
A fleeting glance, a quiet tune,
The silver glow beneath the moon.
4. The Beauty of Small Moments
Maryann I Mar 6
A hush upon the water’s crest,
where morning spills in golden rest,
a figure drifts in light’s embrace—
a dancer poised in fluid grace.

She bends, she sways, a feathered sigh,
her alabaster wings comply,
each ripple waltzes at her feet,
as if the lake and she compete.

No step misplaced, no hurried flight,
she moves as if she weighs but light,
a whisper in the dawn’s repose,
where every motion softly flows.

Yet in the dusk where moonlight wanes,
another shadow breaks the chains.
A glint of coal, a sharpened glide,
a phantom in the silver tide.

Her beauty sings a darker song,
a wilder pulse, both fierce and strong.
No fragile twirl, no measured bow—
she rules the water, here and now.

She cuts the lake with silent power,
the night bends low, the stars turn sour.
A haunting echo in her wake—
a ghost of grace, a breath to take.

One swan to soothe, one swan to strike,
one day, one night, both wrong, both right.
Two echoes spun from fates untold—
one draped in white, one cloaked in gold.
Maryann I Mar 29
Drizzle me in honeyed gold,
let caramel ribbons lace my skin,
warm and slow as they trickle down—
a river of molten sugar, pooling in bliss.

The air is thick with vanilla hush,
soft as sifted powdered snow,
melting on my tongue like a whispered dream,
light as spun sugar caught in the breeze.

Bite into the velvet hush of chocolate—
dark as midnight, rich as sin,
a decadent flood that lingers and sighs,
coating lips in satin warmth.

Strawberries glisten, ruby-bright,
dipped in white chocolate sighs,
their **** kiss softened by cream’s embrace,
blushing beneath the moon’s silver glow.

Golden crusts crack beneath the fork,
pastry flaking into a buttery hush,
as custard spills in silken waves,
folding sweetly into waiting hands.

A swirl of cinnamon dances in air,
twisting in clouds of sugar and spice,
as soft dough blooms in golden spirals,
cradled in the warmth of the oven’s arms.

And in this feast of sugared dreams,
where every taste is a lullaby,
let me drown in the amber glow
of honeyed nights and caramel skies.

Maryann I Mar 4
They told us tears were trouble,
a crack in the mask,
a plea for attention,
a sign we weren’t strong enough—
so we swallowed storms whole,
let the thunder shake inside our chests,
never daring to let it pour.

They taught girls that crying was dramatic,
a script rewritten to seem small,
a fault in the fabric of being “too much.”
They told boys it made them weak,
that strength was silence,
that pain should be caged behind quiet eyes.

But tears are not weakness.
They are rivers that carry the weight,
a language of the soul
when words fail to hold what aches.
They do not make you less,
only more—
more human, more real, more free.

So cry if you need to.
Let it fall like rain on thirsty ground,
and know—
I will never see you any differently.
Maryann I Apr 26
He didn’t mean to—
not really.

Just a flash of white,
a crescent moon of teeth
in soft rebellion.
My hand, the eclipse.
His eyes, twin puddles
spilled from stormclouds

he didn’t know he carried.

He backs away,
ears flattened like fallen wings,
tail tucked tight—
a question mark
curled in the dirt.


The bite stings less
than his trembling silence.

He watches me
as if I hold thunder
beneath my skin.

I crouch low.
He crawls lower,
guilt breathing louder
than either of us.

A shiver trails down
his brindle spine
like winter chasing spring.

And I—
I forgive him
before he even reaches
my outstretched palm.
Maryann I Mar 15
I left the door ajar,
just barely —
a silent plea beneath the noise
of “I’m fine” and
“I’m just tired.”

I wrapped my pain in quiet places,
hid the marks where no one looks —
beneath waistbands,
behind layers,
hoping someone might see past it
without me having to say it.

But every time someone got close,
I turned colder, sharper—
a defense disguised as indifference,
a fortress I hated living in
but couldn’t stop building higher.

They tried, I know they did—
friends with warm hands,
family with concerned eyes—
but I shrugged them off,
convinced I was doing them a favor
by being alone in the storm.

Now the room is quiet again,
the fabric sticks to skin,
and I still can’t say
what’s bleeding inside me.

The world just kept on spinning,
while I stayed stuck,
fading in the spaces between
genuine smiles and forced ones.
And in the end,
everyone seemed to give up
and leave me—
not out of malice,
but because they couldn’t reach
what I was too afraid to show.

But I feel it now,
the echo behind silence,
the weight of a choice unspoken—

this action will have consequences.
Maryann I Mar 9
I hate this hunger, gnawing loud,
a whisper turned into a crowd.
I write for peace, for truth, for light—
yet crave the echo in the night.

A thousand eyes, a million hearts,
I want the world to know my art.
Though kindness rains and love is near,
still something selfish stirs in fear.

Why isn’t enough just enough?
Why does praise feel like fragile fluff?
Why do I ache for louder cheers,
when gentle voices ring so clear?

I count the stars, but chase the sun—
forgetting how the moon has won
my poems over with her grace,
while I still seek a grander place.

I loathe this thirst I cannot quench,
this greedy pull, this inner wrench.
Yet deep inside, I see the root—
a child who just wants to feel absolute.

But let me learn to love this pace,
to write for stillness, not the race.
To hold each word, each soul, each view,
and know—enough is something true.
Maryann I Apr 13
Joy is a sunflower in bloom,
a burst of yellow laughter in the throat of dawn—
it dances barefoot through fields
where even the scarecrows smile.

Sadness seeps in shades of blue,
an ocean swallowing lullabies whole,
waves cradling broken boats
and the moon’s reflection—shivering.

Anger is a match lit red,
flickering like a war drum’s pulse,
a wildfire in the chest,
burning bridges before they’re crossed.

Fear creeps in gray,
a mist dragging its feet through alleyways,
whispers behind curtains,
the silence before a scream.

Love is crimson spun with rose,
a heartbeat wrapped in silk,
sometimes soft, sometimes savage—
a fire that kisses and consumes.

Peace wears the hush of lavender light,
a hammock beneath wind-whispered trees,
a breath drawn slowly,
unfolding like petals in spring.

Hope is the color of sky brushed gold,
a sunrise you almost missed,
a window cracked open
in a room you thought was locked.

Loneliness is the aching indigo,
stars you can see but never touch,
a winter coat with no one inside,
quiet as a room full of eyes.

Jealousy glints a poison green,
a vine curling where it’s not wanted,
something sour behind the smile,
a mirror cracked just slightly.

Gratitude glows in soft orange,
a hearth with arms,
warmth that hums
even when the fire’s low.

Shame is a dusty blush of muted brown,
an old coat you never meant to wear,
muddy footprints you try to clean
before anyone sees.

Confidence roars in emerald and royal violet,
a cloak stitched with thunder,
feet firm on the earth
as the sky bends to meet your eyes.
Maryann I Mar 8
75. Just a thought. A whisper. A what-if.
74. I test the weight of silence, hold it in my hands.
73. Everyone talks. No one listens.
72. I count cracks in the ceiling, pretend they are escape routes.
71. My name sounds foreign when they say it.

70. I make a list of things I’ll miss. It’s short.
69. I start another list—things I won’t. It’s endless.
68. Someone asks if I’m okay. I forget how to answer.
67. I laugh too hard. It feels like breaking.
66. I cry in the shower. The water drowns the sound.

65. Sleep is a stranger.
64. I lose my appetite. Even hunger forgets me.
63. The mirror doesn’t recognize me anymore.
62. The days blur, smear together like wet ink.
61. I hear my own voice and wonder if it’s mine.

60. I rip old photos apart, scatter them like dead leaves.
59. My heartbeat is a drum in an empty hall.
58. I start talking to shadows. They answer back.
57. I see movement in the corners of my eyes.
56. The walls breathe when I’m not looking.

55. My skin feels too tight.
54. My thoughts are too loud.
53. I try to scream but forget how.
52. I write a note, then another, then another.
51. I set them on fire. The flames flicker like old memories.

50. Halfway there. A relief. A curse.
49. My hands shake. I clench them into silence.
48. I step outside. The world moves without me.
47. The stars blink. I wonder if they’re watching.
46. I lose another hour to the void.

45. My name no longer belongs to me.
44. My body feels borrowed.
43. I stop answering messages.
42. They stop sending them.
41. I bite my tongue to taste something real.

40. I forget what my voice sounds like.
39. Music doesn’t move me anymore.
38. The wind howls. I howl back.
37. I lose track of days.
36. The countdown is all that’s left.

35. I lock the door.
34. I lose the key.
33. I stop checking the time.
32. Time stops checking on me.
31. The air is thick. I choke on nothing.

30. They say people can tell. No one does.
29. My chest feels empty, like I misplaced something vital.
28. I press my ear to the ground, listen for a heartbeat.
27. Nothing.
26. Nothing.

25. The sky is too bright. It hurts my eyes.
24. The moon is too full. It mocks me.
23. I turn off my phone.
22. No one notices.
21. I am a ghost before I am even gone.

20. I stop pretending.
19. I stop hoping.
18. I stop waiting for someone to save me.
17. I stop wanting to be saved.
16. I stop.

15. The countdown is a prayer.
14. The countdown is a promise.
13. The countdown is all I have.
12. The weight of it is crushing.
11. I welcome it.

10. I can’t remember why I started.
9. I can’t remember who I was before.
8. The world is underwater. I am drowning.
7. I let the tide take me.
6. I let go.

5. The choice is already made.
4. I exhale.
3. I close my eyes.
2. The world fades.
1.
I once made a countdown for myself, writing a poem for each day I was still alive. I’m still here, for now.
Maryann I Mar 28
The sun still rose—did you know that?
A dull, indifferent thing,
spilling light over hollow places
that once held your shadow.

They found your coat on the chair,
your shoes by the door,
as if you meant to return.

The air was thick with silence,
the kind that hums in empty rooms,
pressing against the walls
where your voice used to be.

Someone called your name by accident.
Someone set a place at the table.
Someone swore they heard your footsteps
on the stairs.

And I—
I watched the world keep spinning,
watched birds lift into the sky
as if nothing had been lost,
as if the earth had not swallowed
a universe.

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