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L Jul 2020
It gives me so much joy, to look at you.
Sometimes it’s too much, and I worry.
Is it okay?
Is it okay to feel this much joy?

Is it joy?

I don’t dream of you like that anymore.
but if I did, what would you say?

I imagine it.
“It’s okay.”
I breathe. I smile. I know it isn’t for me.
The day is still bright.
L Jul 2020
O,
And my longing;
I hold the Christ in my hands

And offer it to you.
love offering longing lover
L Jul 2020
I put my voice under a light not knowing that it would burn to a crisp, and all you would hear would be the weakening growls of an animal refusing to die. I thought I had to speak to exist, when all one should ever have to do is be.
L Jun 2020
Who?

Who would come lay their hand on me
in the thickness of my confusion;
The thickness of my Love.

Will you offer your Hand to me
in my fog
And when home is lost to me
Will you tell me where it is?

Will you salt the wound that needs to sting before
it begins to heal,
Will you salt my wounds for me?

O mystery; Who will you be?
Will you Taste me and spit me out,
for fear of keeping a lukewarm thing in your mouth,
Your mouth, Steady with change.

Will you know I too am steady with change,
Will you know I too am an eager student?
Will you keep me in your mouth,
the days I am not burning and delicious?

Will you forget me
Will you let go of my hand
And forget me in the fog
L Mar 2020
¡Oh, que frustración!— hoy, creo que eres un capricho. Ayer, era tan grave e importante hablarte para destruir el silencio que causé, y mañana seguramente estaré convencido que no tienes ninguna importancia en mi vida.

Que frustración; he aquí mi solución:

Me cocí los labios para nunca hablar de ti, y las manos para nunca escribir de ti. Me he amarrado un laso en la cabeza para taparme los ojos; pero ah, que frustración, con cada solución se me presenta otro problema.

He aquí los problemas que ahora tengo:

Los labios que me cocí no me dejan cantar, así que ahora paso el día entero escuchando música, pero resulta que  todas las canciones del mundo se tratan de ti.

Las manos que me cocí juntas no me dejan escribir, y- quizás entenderás- así es como rezo. Pero ahora con las manos juntas, solo puedo rezarle a un dios. Pero resulta que no hay un ser más grande que tú.

Y es cierto que con este lazo tapándome los ojos, ya no te voy a ver; pero en esta oscuridad, inevitablemente, eventualmente, siempre me duermo, y en mis sueños te apareces.

Y cuando te veo- oh, que frustración- nunca quiero cerrar mis ojos.
L Mar 2020
PRAISE BE THE GOD THAT MADE YOUR QUIET MOUTH. PRAISE BE THE GOD THAT STRUCK YOU AT YOUR CORE, SO SHE’D COME INTO YOUR LIFE AND NURSE YOU BACK TO HEALTH. DIVINITY IS YOUR HAND THAT HOLDS HER GIFTS. HOLY IS YOUR SHARED JOY, HOLY LIKE BURNING. HOLY LIKE THE DEER STUCK IN THE FROZEN LAKE. I AM BURNING IN MY FROZEN PAIN. I AM BURNING AND I CANNOT MELT IT AWAY. HALLELUJAH, HALLELUJAH, HALLELUJAH. CHRIST IS MY SUFFERING. CHRIST IS THE MEMORY OF THE FIRST TIME I HEARD YOUR VOICE AND KNEW I WANTED TO FALL IN LOVE.
L Feb 2020
I want you to cut me.
I want you to see that the blood that is red with you becomes water.

I want to be opened by you. I want to be drunk by you.
Put your lips to my open wrist.
There I become ambrosia to your beautiful, godless hunger.
There I offer you what you have given me and did not know it.

With you I am the scent of blood after rainfall.
With you I am God's Lamb put on earth to be devoured.
With you. With you I am made like all holy things.

So cut me please, because I must show you.
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