we haven't been friends in a while.
mostly because
I kind of broke your heart, I think,
and I apologised to you
over and over
in my head, and out loud,
but it may not have been enough.
anyway, your best friend
has his girlfriend
and I heard about what's happening
in your family.
you used to have someone to talk to --
I used to be that, for you,
and what I did took that away
and I wonder who you go to now
but I know the answer is 'no one' --
there are things I'd like to tell you
but I'm not sure you want to hear them,
there are things I could do
if you still wanted me around
but
after all these months of
pretending we're okay
I just can't find the words to say
"I'm still here, just in case,
if you need me."