Depression isn’t always tears and empty bottles.
Sometimes, it’s brushing your teeth and feeling like that was too much.
It’s staring at a wall for hours and calling it rest.
Its smiling so no one asks what’s wrong, because you don’t even know what to say.

It’s nog sadness.
It’s less.
Less feeling.
Less colour.
Less will.
Less you.

You wake up already tired.
You go to bed hoping you won’t wake up.
You function, but its mechanical.
smiling like you’re on autopilot, nodding through conversations.
You cancel plans saying this a headache.
You reply late,
Then feel guilty.
But even guilt takes too much energy.

They say,
“Just talk to someone”
But how do you explain a sadness that doesn’t  have a reason?
How do you open your mouth and describe the way it hurts to just be alive?
So you say,
“I’m fine”
Over and over, until it sounds like your name.

If you relate,
If this feels too close,
Please know it’s not your fault.
You’re not broken.
You’re not weak.
You’re carrying something no one else can.
And even if it feels endless,
Even if you can’t see light right now.

Youre still here.
And that means something.
You mean something.