Every time you see me I look better.
And I coulda had it had I wanted it.

Not to overuse the H word but
I hope my mirror isn’t lying to me.
I hope you get the hints I drop.
Cause they ramble so hard when they bounce on the floor.
That I don’t hold eye contact with anyone that talks to me.
There’s so much going on behind the scenes that you don’t know about.
There’s so many things I keep inside that I wish you’d know about.

Cloud nine, I’m in the aether.
I haven’t felt this fresh in forever.
Summer, smooth like aluminum.
I take a sip, it’s refreshing, it’s heaven.
That mojito in my gums.
That hot dog in my buns.
That highest self esteem.
It’s almost like you’re already mine.
I see you everywhere.
Your smile haunts me beautifully.

Even in my sleep I see it.
I wake up, first thing I feel it.
But I still go to gay clubs to get drunk.
But I don’t get attached to these twinks cause I’m in love.
Not to misuse the L word but
I love how I feel when you look at me.
When I see you look in my peripherals.
And when I catch you staring too.
Must mean I love you?

Every time I see you, you look prettier.
You take gorgeous to the next level.
I’ve been so on edge and I’m about to fall
into you.
This feels like a fever dream.
A roller coaster to sound cliché but it’s true.
What helps is knowing no one’s in my way to you.
I’m my only competition.
And though some days I doubt it’ll come to fruition
I’m still on a mission.
And you’ll say “no” to my gorgeous corpse with jewels around my neck.
Cause I’m not walking away like that.
Not when I can rise above all or miserably fail.

But I believe in victories.
Cause every time you see me I look better.
I’m on that endorphin diet.
And in feels all over the air.
I coulda had it had I wanted it.
But I know what I deserve.