My Blue Eyed Ghost

There was once a girl with the most beautiful blue eyes
the world had ever seen
She held me as a child, we were so happy
the picture of that moment is long gone, it was stolen
but I think the warmth of her hands from that day
still protects me
from cold new york winters

She was Juliette’s sister
but the truth was, she was mine and I was hers
we belonged to each other
in a way no one else heard

At Grandpas funeral dinner when the world turned cruel at that table
ugly hearts stabbed us both  like knives
I fled out of the restaurant.
And she ran after me
like a fierce November 18th candle flame.

We sat on a rock
She didn’t speak much, just put her head to mine.
She got addicted to the drugs
but no matter how lost she was
she always stood up for me
a warrior guarding my tiny heart
against the big bad wolves in the family.

Sometimes I dream she sits beside me still
on that same rock
and neither of us is broken.

She places a gumball in my hand
and says,
“This is yours to keep."

And I wake up
with blue in my eyes
But my heart is so broken, it feels like it was beaten
and found dead on the sidewalk.
Why did Jenna have to die