I want to stab my chest.
let the pressure hiss out like steam.
It’s lived here too long,

The same pressure
I've felt lying in this same bed,
staring through this same window,
with these same thoughts
in this same body
no matter how many times I beg it to leave

I want to stab my chest.
Cut out the rot of
never good enough,
of sorry for existing,
of always the one who ruins everything.

I want it gone
The weight.
The silence.
The drowning
The constant need to earn my right to breathe.

stabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabsta­bstabstab
stabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabsta­bstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstab­stabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabs­tabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabst­abstabstabstab
sunk.

But I don't stab.
I just lie here
again
and the window doesn’t say a thing.