in the most pristine of moments i look over my shoulder in a giant ocean hoping to see your gleaming pale face smile at me
and kiss me im clearly not the one you want and you're put too high on a pedestal in my mind
you kind of disgust me or rather i disgust myself knowing i know i let the ugliest most insecure men get into my heart and see parts of me i dared to show no one.
and even came close to letting them inside me just to take advantage of the fact that i want to be loved.