i am craving someone to see me
genuinely see me and care about the things that i care about and to love the things that i write and to tell me that i am worthy of something more than what i am given
i want to be dissected and loved
i dont want to ask for it every time
i dont want to cry about it anymore

do you think my letter will fix the problem? that words could mean anything more than something read and forgotten?
does it matter anymore than it did before
do you even care?
do you even know my name?

i am cursed to be this way
to want more than im given
to require love in the most beautiful way
to see the world in its smallest of beings
to observe and think more than someone should ever be able to

you are my muse
but you are the biggest part of my hurt

i keep telling myself hurt people hurt people
how long do i let someone hit me before i grab their hand and tell them i deserve better
because what if better is not there?
what if i only get this chance to let someone into my head
what if i deserve this?
i am disgusting and no one is telling me