I will never forget our first night together. The way he swiftly grabbed me by my waist the moment I shut the door behind me. He pulled me in, hypnotized by his ocean blue eyes, I simply could not resist him. He kissed me, and with the roaring intensity of a tidal wave, I was left there striped naked and exposed; swimming in the depths of his desire & unspoken love for me. Our souls, bound to one another. And it was a peaceful feeling. A feeling of familiarity. It felt as if my soul sighed in relief, because in that moment I knew that I have returned to a lover I have spent centuries seeking after.
I felt safe in his presence. Secure. I could be vulnerable & shamelessly feminine. Something I always yearned for but could never fully entrust onto another. Out of fear & disappointment that they could not adequately nurture & protect me. But what we shared was something that was once only found within the realm of my dreams, and the dark recesses of my subconscious. A love that I knew in my bones existed all along and was desperate to experience again. So desperate that I foolishly tried to seek our bond through partners that could only see me from the surface. They were afraid to dive deep enough to reach me. I was left drowning & gasping for breath, suffocating from the lack of depth and intimacy that they failed to provide to even themselves. I was met only by men with lustful eyes and an unquenchable thirst that led to me enduring devastating betrayals & soul-crushing heartbreaks…
But on that first night with him, I understood why their love was only skin deep. They were all lessons I had to learn. Lessons to teach me to love & value myself so that I could transform, like a phoenix rising from the ashes of past lovers sins. I shed my old skin, ready to embrace the world with a newfound love for myself. My self-worth magnetizing him to me like a moth to a flame. A sailor following a sirens call through the oceans mist. Circumstances kept us apart, but divine timing brought us together once I was ready. Ready to let go, surrender and dance in the flames of our eternal love.