i used to swallow english dictionaries
force the foreign vowels in my mouth
chew them, grind them between my teeth
until they are
a facsimile of sustenance, substance
its sharp corners scratch my throat
then i water it down with
the warm satisfaction of approval
and i did this work, this habit
for years and years and years
my tongue has curved around the
space i molded it from
my teeth has bent from the pressure
of forced phonetic mastication
my voice has the tilted quality
of a bird snatched from the forest
in hopes of sounding sweet
i sound lost, i sound unsure
i try to retrace my grandmother’s voice
it lingers on my tongue, before it dissolves
like sugar on my lips