what did you think       would satisfy you,  
           and did it even        come close?

     i wake up hungry         for something  
               i can’t      name.  
         it’s not food.  
         it’s not love.  
               but i look for both anyway.

    i open my phone  
             like a prayer.  
       i scroll until       the wanting quiets.  
            it never does.

       i eat when i’m full.  
              i speak when i’m tired.  
         i buy things i forget  
              right after opening.  

     i keep thinking the next thing  
                 will be the thing.  
          the final thing.  
                  the thing that sticks.  

      but nothing holds.  
         nothing stays.  
      it all goes soft  
             and slips through me.

       people tell me         i’m lucky.  
          but luck doesn’t fill  
                whatever this is.

     i want more hours,  
                but sleep makes me sick.  
      i want quiet,  
         but silence        scratches at me.

           i touch someone  
                   and already  
         want to be somewhere else.  

      i love them,  
             but my chest  
         still feels         too empty  
                  or        too full.  

     i ask myself why i’m like this  
           and the question echoes  
                back       as laughter.

       i think maybe          i want peace.  
             or maybe just  
                 a reason.

        i keep trying  
           to press pause  
                 on a life  
        that won’t stop        spinning.

     but i can’t stop reaching.  
            can’t stop needing  
                 even when  
         i have everything.

        is it always going  
                      to be like this?

     or will i wake up  
             one day  
                   and finally  
             feel like  
         i’ve had     enough?