theres this ache in my heart
it never goes away
not fully
only dulls

i tried to cut it out

that didnt work

i tried to burn it out

that didnt work

i tried drown it in pills and alcohol

that didnt work

so

at last

i tried to **** it

took out my blade
went to work with it
as i had many times

took out my bottle
and felt the familiar warmth spread throughout my body

and finally
took out the pill bottle

took them all within two swallows

and i decided that wasnt enough

so i took the bottle of cough syrup

chugged that

and went to bed