I am wide awake
I see the brutal horrific truth now
how much my father abused me as a child
as a baby
the fire inside of me burns
its so so FKING painful !!!!!

I see the truth now
how most of the" boys" that I dated
abused me so so horrifically !!

I see the truth now
how trauma bonded I was
and how it wasn't my fault!!

I see the truth  now
how much I hated myself for no FKING reason!
I see myself now
more of myself,
and how amazing I am
because I am  ME!

I see the truth now
that I don't need to compete with others to be loved,
I just need to exist
to breathe
to be worthy!

I see the truth now
that everyone,
has their own path their own journey
their own beauty !
How we each have our own gifts and tests in this life
how we are all one!

I see the truth now
how you assaulted me
manipulated me ,and abused me!

How his beatings hurt me
my mind, my body ,my soul
but still I am free
still I am rising above it all
I see the truth now
that my strength is my power.

I see the truth now
that so many times
it was other people being wounded
and their projections of pain onto me.

I see the truth now
good kind loving amazing people really do exist!

I see the truth now
I am worthy of so much love so much goodness!

I see the truth now
I am love !

I love myself,
I see the truth now,
everything is about  intention!

I danced today
and felt so free
blessed and alive!

I see the truth  now
I was always always,
amazing ,because I am me!

I see the truth now,
that none of my abuse
was my fault!

I see the truth
that life truly happens for me!

I can take responsibility  of myself and my life
and the truth is sometimes it hurts  like fking hell!
Before it can empower you !

I see the truth,
that this pain is heavy harsh raw and painful as FKING HELL!!!

I see the truth that there are many things that I don't undrstand
but I can still build from the pieces.