i can recall the
day
hour
very moment
that i fell for You

getting into the car
you nervously looked
at me with those beautiful
brown eyes, and
smiled; so sweetly

we drove to the cheapest
motel we could find

it had a lobby the smelled
of curry and
saffron. the balding indian owner
and his wife checked us in

i remember thinking the room
as peculiar as our situation.
it had a sink, both inside and
outside of the bathroom
green and red carpet and
stilted queen beds

it smelled of
cigarettes and someone
had punched a hole
through the bathroom
door
(since patched)

after the ******* and
showers had reached their
inevitable end there was just
us

months of wanting you
had finally come to fruition

and it was the singular moment

of just the way you fit so
dynamically into the curves
of my form and laid your
head upon my chest

the struggle of
being Together

the love you held for me in your eyes
and the abject terror
of thinking of your leaving

it was then that i knew
and sighed
because i knew what
all of that
foreshadows

like wave,
or coruscating crystal
it all came crashing
Together

such resounding clarity.

i knew i loved you,
and my sigh was more
towards my not being able
to lie to myself about it

you had to leave
shortly after

alone,
with beer,
and bad motel television
i stayed awake

i still love you.