Please be my inner most self.
The heart beating away in a
hollow book exposed by a shelf.

Please let it sing to me if I am down.
Make me feel sunshine in Gods
most righteous frown.
Sensitive thoughts of joy and sadness
will never make me drown.

God made you to never leave
me in the end.
In empty pages I have
found a true friend.

The words I never say have
found a perfect place.
Its like the comfort of
a veil hiding my face.

My father prays for this
unspoken request.
The answers to life have
become my greatest test.
Some thoughts are to be
buried in the deepest chest.

God listens to my mixed
love and hate.
Yet he refuse's to give up
on making them separate.
My tears flowing over years
of blooming to late.
God had a reason for
planning it all before it
became fate.

I need the rain and sunshine
to make my life grow.
Yet the rain must not
wash me into the dark funnel.
The sunshine of Gods
sacrificing love will remain infinite.
Years passing so fast like
leaves off a tree to tear me up
or to make me fly like a kite.

You will get to know the stranger inside.
The one so hurt it decided to hide.
Later I will find out if the pencil
is an enemy or a best friend.

God answers the prayers
I don’t remember praying.
My prayers are just stepping
stones to a better reality.
If I die this year I’d feel that
way about my last prayer.
My bitterness will stop injecting
itself into my fantasies.
My butterflies grow obese
because of the magic.
I’ll keep trying to grow
past all of this tragic.
I’ll stop living everyday as if
it’s  already the future.
It makes my Time Machine
into a ready guillotine.
My depression and happiness
hug for the first time.
They have not been intimate
long enough it seems.

When your  fear dies; expect to feel alive.
I am jumping with figure skates expecting not to survive.
In a rush hour of figure skaters to feel the insane drive.

There is another figure skater rushing behind my spiraling blade.
The graceful competition of a skater moving
among robots in a parade.
To figure skate on glitter was like receiving an accolade.

I am a powerful skater wishing to be myself in a scraping serenade.
In my world only rags are made.
Through the words of a choreographer a princess would be made.
Swaying like a leaf off a trembling blade.

Dreaming into a jump unable to wake up before its to late.
Its just a dream that reality set for  a different date.
I am leaving behind a rink set like a magnificent diamond of light.

I’m not smart.  
Im not a ****!
Yes full of heart.
Put it on a cart.
We won’t part.
Sugar our start.
Self esteem chart.
I don’t place in the mart!
Check out my obese HEART!
ableist society see my art.

I don’t want to change
anyone anymore.
I’ve seen the effort it
takes for me to change.
I accept that people
are rarely kind.
I know people
rarely care.
At times they have
good reasons for that.
Bullies are made by this
most of the time.
I have the same
struggles as all of them.
I admit there have
been many times
I’ve tried not to relate.
I am so human
at times it scares me.
My expectations have
left the station but
I’ve not given up.
God is in more
control than we know.

A girl played with her little pony.
The adventures were amazing and stony.
She dreams of someday a turning it into a real pony.

Before the adventure she takes care
of the little ponies melting hair.
The snowy pony climbs the mountainous chair.
Now its cat versus the pony but no one plays fair.


Snowy has become real and enchanting.
Snowflakes are a swirl of energy beyond implanting.
A little pony had a chance to be real
But the sun holds the power to its evaporating heart.
No one save it or freeze it apart.

She tries to race ponies with her best friend.
Yet the snowy pony is starting to melt before summers end.
Her friends pony starry has a better motor.
Hear the technical difficulties of a girl creator.

She entrusts the pony with an emerald necklace.
So it’s the pony’s fault it got lost in the seaside’s mad race.
Her tears spiral down chastising the little pony
into its melting disgrace.

Her love was mechanically infused with only power.
It tore out the reason to live for the little pony.
This sent melting snowy drowning through an endless sea.

Every friend is sunshine
To exile the darkness
Haul away the hate
Every friend is lightning
Roses of lightning in dew
Easels of ease near oceans
A rare joy to behold
Let us go to the shore of serene!