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I shake the carton
two crumpled cigs
Slide out into your palms
We laugh at the ridiculousness
Knowing we’ll need to make a stop-
Perhaps our last midnight adventure
Lighting one each to bide our insatiable thirst
I watch your jawline through the smoke
Tense, tongue holding back words
I already know in my heart.
We won’t survive this one
Together or apart,
Death has come for us.
I lean against the light post
Smile hinting at my lips
It brings me peace knowing
Your lips don’t want to say the truth
For once, perhaps we thought
Living could be for us.
I don’t see a way out of this one
Except down
Down
Down
Down.
forbidden doesn’t mean unloved.
it just means we had to get clever,
had to learn the quiet art
of slipping past the noise,
finding each other
in the cracks between rules.

we speak in hush tones
through fake personas,
a call tucked
into the folds of night,
your laugh breaking softly
against my ear like tide.

they told us “no,”
so we invented yes
in the language only we know.
stolen minutes,
a heartbeat shared
over a signal no one can trace.

the world doesn’t see
what it means when you say my name
like it’s a promise.
but i do.

and maybe we’re breaking the rules,
but we are not breaking each other.
we are not wrong.
we are not alone.
forbidden doesn’t mean unloved,
it just means
we love anyway.
AA
“I don’t belong here” I think
Hearing the stories
Of people who have broken
Way beyond repair
Yet they smile at me
And welcome my pain.
All I see is tender hearts
And determined minds
they are completely whole
they are the ugly truth
we are just alcoholics
one drink away from touching the sun.
Thoughts of you consume me
Igniting a path of desire
I almost beg you to follow
With those calloused fingertips
My breath quickens
Hands between my thighs
Quivering with delight
Who should have the first taste?
Is it you or shall I?
Do we kiss in your dreams?
Hug until we forget where we end?
Do your arms ache for the shadows?
Knowing I’m lurking just a few streets away.
Its you I’m holding in my drunken dreams
When I awake and your spot is empty
I can’t help but cry out in disbelief
It’s you I’m longing for
Is it,
Is it just me?
I drink a lot these early mornings
6am and the crack of a hard cider
cuts through the still empty morning haze
bottle caps fill my sink clogging the drain
When does the fog clear?
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