when we hopefully, simply, by living
and by loving and laughing enough
can outgrow all the mindsets we’ve been in
then the bellow within us can’t huff

when we hopefully, simply, by living
and by matching the patience of Time
can unlearn even one single pattern
then the bellow within us subsides

when we hopefully, simply, by living
and by welcoming change like a breeze
can begin to adore every human
then the bellow within us is free

I’ve ten feral fingers, I’ve ten feral toes
I’ve dipped them in things with whole body and soul
I’ve questioned intentions, but not of my heart
I always make sure it beats right from the start

I’ve one feral body and one feral mind
that the God I worship gave to me, in kind
I used to pass judgment, I used to forget that what people go through defines them much less

than all of their body’s ten fingers and toes
and all of the feral inside of their souls
they are not what feels right or looks to be real
they’re every emotion they know when to feel

there’ll always be chaos inside of my life
I’m just being honest, I’m speaking my plight
I know that my body has suffered a lot
and my mental health tries to stick to the plot

the truth is, I’m broken in ways you don’t know
in languages foreign and places you’ll go
but I’ve seen the people, I’ve heard what they say
and made it a point that I won’t live that way

that chaos is painful, I already know
I’ll pick up my feet and I’ll go it alone
and if it gets heavy, I’ll let it all out
I’ll go back to nothing, and build me a house

if I was never challenged, would I want to be appeased?
I think about it all the time — would I be more at ease?
if no one in my life told me the thoughts I thought were wrong
would I be ever weaker or would I be that much more strong?
if I was never told I am a person I was not
would I continue fighting for The Truth inside my heart?
I think about it all the time and just how much I’ve grown
when no one in my life was there, I found You on my own
that I was ever challenged and that I was made the least
speaks everything to Who You are and what You make of me
I thought I needed people and I thought I needed time
but all I need is You and You are always on my mind

a love of mine sang words to me and played them to a sound
a bassline I had never heard, found hard to figure out
he let his fingers freely touch the strings to chords I knew
but dust inside his fingertips kept tracking so much, too

the sound became a muffled thing, a whisper gone awry
and in a tone we couldn’t fight, we had to say goodbye
we put our hands together then we set our bodies free
and now a love who once had been no longer sings to me

I spent so many years just counting minutes in my head
and chasing after Time in ways that almost left me dead
I pushed the pedal forward harder than I knew I should
the faster I could get through this, the better, for my good

I followed ticks and tocks of clocks wherever I would go
and learned to read their exit signs so nobody would know
that in my head, an hour more meant many hours less
with all the things I know I need to face and not forget

…