Balled and rolled
But never been told
What was once tied
Will set loose and die

What I fear is neither the tortures of hell,
or to face my Heavenly Father in the glorious skies above,
no, not even death on this Earth can stop
the amount of joy that comes, when being in love.

No, I have a fear, as all mortals do,
but it's not a fear for me,
as it is a fear for you.

I fear as a man,
I need to protect and provide,
to love and teach and listen,
as only God told me too,
as only I can.

But every day I fear,
that I won't be able to bring home the check,
that one day I won't be on my best,
and soon the storm will brew, and so begins the test.

I fear that if anger takes hold,
will you still remember my words of love and my promises,
the ones that I've promised to keep,
since the day they were told?

I fear I am just a man,
but that should not excuse me from doing the best,
and being the best,
the best that I can.

My love, please wait for me,
I'll be home soon now,
I'll be there to hold you tight,
if only the chance to tell me again,
that it'll be alright.

To love and protect,
to protect and provide,
to promise and keep you
always by my side.

if we lived in a castle
would you make me your queen?

if we were rain we would fall on deserts
the poor's thirst to quench

if we were acid
we would be corrosive,harsh and reactive

if i was the moon and you were the sun
i'd borrow your light and make us one.

Shivers, creeping down your spine
Grabbing you like a demon of ice
You are shaking, each passing terror
Gripped by the visions of the unholy

Nothing can stop these feelings now
Bubbling up like the foulest pit
Nausea like a fist, clenching inside
But  nothing can be seen, nothing there

That feeling there is something behind you
Watching, waiting, ready to strike
For what can be more terrifying, my friend
Than having to face fear, the horror of *fear itself

Some days you feel you just cant and don't want to go on, The games have gotten old, tears streaming  down my face I can tell you which each tear drop means and what lays within it for my heart is breaking from each one. How I wish I had already finished this journey, Lathargic, I sit here staring at the walls not wanting to think, yet longing to numb my every tear that steals a heartbeat; a breath at a time. Why must I be made to feel helpless to block your choice on the wrong road,  While you think your only best friend is lifting that stench of liquor to your lips , with each sip you are  killing your spirit while mine silently weeps. Robbing my heartbeats as you forget the lies and forget to whom it was told . If truth were spoken from the start no lie would have to be remembered. Draining my will with not just the tears but the games played with my heart and mind. How I long to believe, but the truth reveals each and every lie. Breaking my spirit where escape is the only place I want to be. You think your actions only hurt you  . . . But they destroy this spirit ,so lift that bottle to your lying lips, tell those stories to cover your addiction. But please leave me in this place where I can no longer feel , leave me to cry these tears filled with nothing but lies .

© cherry rose 2015

Give me a reason to live
Or give me a reason to die
I can't handle in between
Do you even want to give
Anything other than a goodbye
Just another somber scene
I lie awake in bed
Wanting nothing more
Than for it to end
But I can't stay out of my head
I can't settle the score
Breaking after the bend
Shattered in to countless pieces
That once resembled a heart
Pushed too hard to find
Meaningful releases
But I ******* fell apart
Lost hope and went blind

Feeling alone in room full of people
is like a corpse on the shoulder,
it's like anchors at your chest.
I do this trick where I disappear
just long enough that when I return
no one will call me.

I don't want to be alone,
but I feel like vase that breaks,
and every time I try I am less whole,
and in a different shape.

I'm always scared that I am getting so **** old
when I still feel like I fit in my mother's lap.
With her hands through my hair,
I can finally sleep,

but I have the same weird dream where
I am 15 and I'm making out with Mikey
in the restroom of Russell's party.

He is lifting my shirt and I tell him if he stops
he can still tell his friends that I let him touch me.

Mikey smiles and leaves, and again
somebody else is telling my story.