Would it be poetetic to take this blade across my wrist
The silver kissing at my arteries

Would it be romantic
To die because of love
Possessive hands choking me.

Would it be beautiful
To breath my last breath
Leaving behind all those who care.

Or would it be tragic to abondon this world before my time.
Mother and father crying over me.

You were the only one who was ever real
I couldn't wrap my head around it quite as well as I could wrap myself around you
But it's all close enough
Have you ever lost something real?
I'm not quite sure how this will feel
Because even the fake ones hurt sometimes
Even the fakest ones can leave you wrapped in a dark cloud with no silver lining visible
I wonder what your real storm will bring
When you finally decide to destroy me in your path
A full on massacre of sorts
I'm sure
I'm sure the pain will be just as real as you were
As this was
Is
I'm sure

i lay down my
vanities
like
oranges
at the altar.
i pour out my
pride like water
from the Krishna-
sodden ribbon of faith
runs around and over and
through your hands
and i lay down my
face on your lap
and i lay down my face
on your map of the world
and the oceans whisper under my ear
and the future
is a boxer inside of your chest
throwing fist-
bom, bom
after fist-
bom bom
at the shadows on the wall.
and i lay my faces down
all five of them-
six of them.
and i lay them down to
be eaten by the dogs.
while they chew merry on my
presentations, my false introductions.
i look to the night sky of your face
and it looks like it may rain.
sorrow rain. snowflake fractals falling on my
cheek-
great rivers of regret and sorrow
and restraint.
i look up
Rigel Kentaurus
is shining from somewhere deep inside.
and i find you, and i find my way
around the black hole
inside you and i move swift around the comet that is me.
fire, fire, pieces of planets and fire
fiercely forcing it's way through the universes until
i finally hit
a force stronger than i.
i shed my clothes.
as naked is the eyes that see me, true.
i shed my pride.
as forgiving is the soul that nurtures.
i wear your adoration like cherry blossoms blooming
i wear your eyes, i take them from you
to see me,
to see me
and i do not disappoint. i am naked and beautiful and modest
just as you said i would be.
beautiful vessel
the Gods choose well,
so i lay my silks and finery at your feet.
blossoms in the sacrificial bowl.
let me lay, just a little longer,
on your lap that is the world
let me lay here
while your hand of the softest gossimer fingertips
rides the bumps in my spine.
let me find myself in your lush silence
and in this divine be forgiven-
oh! That I find myself forgiven.

sahn
1/19/2015

Let's skip the
all-happy all-
the-time facade
I want to meet you
when one of us
is crying
and the other one
is high
Instead of
******* rainbows,
let's tell each other
stories
about those
we've left behind
And when
I make love
to you,
you'll know
what it means
to be known,
and I'll know
what it means
to be home

They say,
There is a light we all seek;
But all I see are the dark clouds
Forming and massing.

Wherever I walk and run,
They rapidly follow and chase me,
Plaguing the skies with gloom,
Stretching forward,
Farther away,
Beyond me.

A curtain of shadows fall
In droplets of black;
Eating my sight,
Creeping in my body,
Consuming me like
Decay that ravaged the fields
Where I once frolicked.

All is shrouded in terror and blight.
I could see the towers
I have built, which stood strong
And firm, where I once kept
Watch in wait, now fall and crumble,
Its foundations reduced into rubble.
They now kneel in the dark
Like lost pilgrims.

How can the light
Touch my face now?
If Despair has already kissed my lips,
And I, have become its lover.
We have exchanged our vows,
Etched like tattoos in the sky,
Saying, "till death do us part".

people tell me that I look like her
and maybe to them I do.
because they don't see what I see.

the beauty,

the wisdom,

the grace,

the strength,

all things impossible to obtain.

so when they tell me I look like her,
I politely decline.
because she's everything I strive to be,
not everything I am.