The lights dim low,
a pathetic attempt to mask
the true beauty and art
that beholds in the darkness.

The music rises and the colors flash
the names flash like mosquito bites
they don't show the real important
names of faces in the room.

The actors dance on screen
like dust swirling on a highway
insignificant as compared to
the distraction that entrapped me.

The explosions pale like
a small flashlight pointed
upon a vast starry night sky,
it's brightness drowned by subtle beauty.

And the ****** of a kiss,
a mouth-watering scene
in slow motion looks like
a high speed chase compared
to my hand as it creeps slowly.

Give me a hit
Let me bathe in that gin
Got too much ****
laden too heavy with sin.

My *** is my crutch
Broken heart and broken soul
burden too much
now broken down not whole.

give me some poison
let me cure this disease
inside I got a demon
who just won't give me any ease.

something to numb the pain
stop this clawing deep inside
**** my heart **** my brain
my euthanasia satisfied.

I just wanna run and hide
From all the bad desicions
But the demons haven't died
So let's continue to blur vision.

Cause It won't go away
the demon's, here to stay
the pain isn't subtle,
so I'll shut up.
but hand me another bottle.

Boiling blood and bile.
Images that announce
The opening of your lips.
Short tempers and hot heads
Soon come after.

Screams shrieks and sighs
Your gifts to me,
rapped in a pleasant
Scathing remark.

Words like rolling tanks
And with a formula for pain,
You pick the cocktail
That will do the most damage.

The chocolates scattered
and spilled upon the table,
are reluctantly melting,
as they lie beside
the half-opened, half-eaten,
half-emptied
heart shaped box.

A young boy who wanted to fly
Outstretched his wings and jumped to the sky

Though he knew that he would fall.
Better to have failed, than not tried at all.

Oh dear angel of death
give to me my sweet ****.
A drug I need, a drug I lack
I need it now to see more than black.

Long ago I used to see more
but now my hopeful eyes grown sore.
Too much wait and too much strain
Looking for happiness is too much pain.

give now to me my drink
my tolerance is now on it's brink.
I feel uneasy with no poison in me
soberness will be my ruin you see.

I need the feeling of ***** on the rise
shroud my heart in excreted disguise.
The feeling helps me not to think
that is why I choose to drink.  

I need my drug I need my drink
Inside my body let it sink
I need to **** the things inside
the dark creatures that in me hide

So give to me my Novocaine,
I need it now to keep me sane.
Paralyze my body, paralyze my heart
Because in truth I've fallen apart.

The black crow looks like my
newly bought suit and tie.
Black from my head to toe
He looks hungry, that crow.

The suit's itchy and tight
but just ever so slight
like the hand holding hard
but fails to keep me guard.

I don't know the girl's name,
All people look the same.
At least I know my toys,
there lies all my last joys.

Lonely birthdays are here
I'll be ten next year.
now I wish to go home,
Lie in their bed alone.

I know she and he
will not be there with me
because I'll leave them here
inside earth under sun clear.