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Monika Mar 8
Change has been my lifelong foe —
We've been at war since forever ago.
Been in battle ever since I gave life a chance,
It was the only way for me to take a stance.

Losing control — my worst nightmare
That's a recipe for disaster, right there.
Getting consumed by the fear of the unknown,
Back at square one, no matter how much I've grown.

So every step, I measure twice,
Safe for now, but skating on thin ice.
Always making sure things fall perfectly in line,
Mapping my path, watching out for a sign.

Yet roads will twist — they always do 
No matter how well I plan them through.  
Now a higher power has taken the wheel,
Swerving, getting tortured by the despair I feel.

Unfair how time wields a ruthless hand,
Undoing all the things I have planned.
A single crack and the flood pours in —
Chaos ensues, and mayhem within.

One wrong move, one shift too steep,
And I’ll be falling, falling deep.  
They say that change can set you free —
But freedom feels like losing me.  

I'd rather chain myself in place,
Than gamble all I can’t replace.  
No script survives, no maps stay true,
Control dissolves — as I do too.

Too late for salvation — there's only grief
But perhaps it brings a strange relief. 
For change may call, but I won’t flinch —
You'll have to escape my grip, inch by inch.

And perhaps one day, I'll make my peace
No longer holding on, ready to release.
And maybe I'll even learn something from it,
Like that by losing the game, I've also won it.
Monika Feb 23
Give credit where credit is due,
And time will **** it all for you
... But all in good time —
It's patience at its prime

Stop feeding your internal strife,
You've been killing time all your life
Waiting for the world to shift its tide,
Unaware time was always on your side

I finally get it — better late than never,
Now I'll become the game, not just a player
No longer trying to beat the clock,
Ready for action not just cheap—*** talk

Can't turn it back, so I won't look behind
Mistook it for an enemy for never being kind
Believed if I had more of it I'd surely touch the sky
Never waiting for me, I hated that it could fly

But as it goes by I've got less and less to spare
Instead of it getting easier, we learn not to care
They promised I'd get it once I come of age,
But if time's money, I only have loose change

So Ima take some time off while it heals all my wounds,
Gave me a hard time even when I followed the rules
I wonder if I'm just wasting time until I'm all out of it
Guess only time will tell — poetic a bit

Anyway, I promise it's the last time I'll ask
This time, I'll even take off my mask;
Could you find the time,
To make some time
For me to try
And make it in time
This time?

— The End —