dry as a butterfly   and legless as an atlas
buttressed by a mattress            
     the gap against the wall
to sleep   or  at least    
to practice

the slanting sun  outwits the bedroom               
                            carves in the morning knife
cavities balled into the mystery   a spent cartridge of night      
bidden away is the bask   of a coupling umbrella-ed          
(guilded by narcotic somnolence  and a few drinks)
now  each fearful  in face of the lover    
       one wondering etiquette
    for the ridding
     of the other

the fails  the falls          actual trips
on the pavement
               flat out  in male heat  whimpering
commandeered    by mating itches
                            you trace the pattern    pursuing your needs
you've probed the city beds                      
     for the love song  some tremor of heart
              but  it becomes more akin to research
lurching through the 'feeding grounds'                      
too many 'successes' and some hard 'romantic' hurts
it becomes numbers                                            
       and used condoms skinned off your member
you do that long enough                                          
                ­  and you've become something criminal
you act the brag   call it 'throwing ****'
                  and imagine it 'the glorified hunt'
your discourse with girls                              
                 power toward vital recitals that 'score'
toss out your heart and suss out 'weaknesses'
(the same weaknesses you loathed                          
                     in your own beginners wounds)
before long you've become a bored and pushy criminal
never quenched
chasing the young with vile deceit
not even a shower between each 'victory'
you daren't bring them to your place anymore
taxi cabs have your address flagged
send up verbal flares        
          to any potential fares
with you   a daring destination
    ***** lair of aggressor ego
mister 'never takes 'no''
****** predator

gestures for use on the neighbours   it'll ward off isolation
foreign no longer        but privately guarded  
buffered against secrets     we're neighbours now  
lock in with these people                                                        
click eyes    like desert lizards                                                        
a­nd lick at the brickwork   to heal its insurance

throwing up our arms to gravy   like a sports fan
an energy of invite   despite  they  each see the other
                                 ****** near every day
fun hats and clothes picked for colours
                  or practical aging
like mating flare
use up the garish leftovers from the artists box
                         and a dog perhaps
garnish  for the family way
a long ladder  shared between neighbours
cause 'hey ! ; our kids match your kids'
and always work toward the perfect sale
prepared for that one forgiving day
                and 'The Move'

bakes the day                                        
corpse human   naked to nature
brewing humid importance
sleaving off psychological impotence
busy  
with library returns

the rotting process                  
proof of life  dampens the air
with pine-like fragrance
transfusional breath confirms
      i'm one with the earth

back to the masterplan   to the **** grown crop                  
                  chop-chop    food tinned for the great red heist
the pawn heads   duds stringing out the gross termination
growing the bomb pocked sod with ashes                    
                            fertile with calcium phosphates

growing history fascist-faced                          
  no space for art  love and earning yourself
mal-educate       no learning to learn
back to the masterplan    no time to explain
just be a sport   and don't dare complain

i am a light sleeper                                              
    who wakes before my alarm
but  i have my own personal Witching Hour
a gape                                                    
    when­ I am utterly unguarded      
        and vulnerable  to serpent enemies

it's then that they broach and whisper me suggestion
it's then that i whimper like an abused and receptive whelp
then that i devolve into a manipulatable child of therapy
it's then that weights are stacked upon my chest      
    and my breaths become short  pinned  and pained

even with my wife and child to my side                            
they patiently poison me  with measured pipette drops
run them down a string like spittle
bitter mushroom down the back of my throat                  
and dreams warp toxic like cellophane near a fire
and what visions !
warrens of vivid insecurities as loved ones                        
strip their gloves  and get to work ripping out the pegs
with twisted mocks  tocking noggins              
         and flails of humiliation oiling apart
               the mechanism of my meaning

they look at their watches   time is up
they leave with their instruments      
make idle chit-chat on their way out
lock the front door with the spare key
and place the key back under the mat

i cove my eyes                                   
breathe and billow my way
borne and berthed in dark green fur
it operates   sway of la lune and sea
i hat breath  pat at it deeper and be
                                             silting

this frozen shore     calls me tourist               
followed by money grubber and whoremonger
  then reckless looter and polluter
names me hazard   and spits on me
it squeaks and whines                                                    
pops bubblewrap   and grinds polystyrene
jarring and wincing my ears
nature has called me out                                                
it fires at me                                  
                      with a list of my species crimes
the pudding's in the proof
and i'm left simply unable to be a recluse
in the company of
                              this frozen winter shore

hats call to be filled but i am not in fashion for them-      
              -clear days   in any-which-season and i shall pay-
-the rays will fire away at my forehead and neck-            
        -unprotected i'll crinkle in some cancerous answer-
-and belch anger ungrateful and blame out at the world-
     -warning beacon to probably only a few immediates-
-we're heard before and ignored as there's so-                  
                             -much inflammation of knowledge clut-
-and damage readings of our species byproducts-            
                      -we just shut down or ghoul up merry mad

sprawling in the wet dregs                                          
                 ­                                   i fumble who you are
threatening        me        with        animal
"you jag  you jag  you jag-you-are-you-are-you-are"
laughing like unpleasantry  laughing with obscene
calling on the meat of madness                
              (absurdity of this scene )

dismember                          
the smell of the books you hide                
roughed into basement boxes amongst
the most casual of junk
the most bare note book
gifted and thrifted and costumed  
your little girl words tea stain wounded
                     marooned and mould afflicted
dismember the words you mooned after near hearts
               and the great white unrequited
the fluting of ****** fuel    the fumes of their history
badly stored  and water damaged
clumped 'mongst uni flyers and old never paid bills

dismember                        
the jerking flesh of my heart
nervous excrement
the manner your head rattles
when i lunge at you
this room stiffens with ****
                    running our corpses thru the flame
the gummy dark muffle day-to-night            
       pinball wisdom of creatures                    
                                   ­   below the floor
cactus salad
        me you and our malady

dismember
us meeting in the long dark bar
made of old wooden doors ******* closed
we nerved about conversation and drank
the gruff dense social den drew in
                grew around us                                      
pushing our minds about like
     the ember remains
                                  of a sotted campfire
ploying mother lens
we shuffled into the other
                      cleaved a little and uncleaved
then  tuning out the winters night
we did together leave

dismember                          
the jamming fight of my breath
your reciting
the wit that exudes you
i hack mad laughs                      
the room becomes rude hot
              and we burst our fleshes
the seasons collect in some deafening syrup
but still the walls are music with vermin
mushroom tea       you and me

i am obvious to you                        
a glaring stowaway
            on your beauty feast
  spending   perilously  oblivious
to where this warmth is spreading

i watch you counting yourself out                                         
                    courting little pets of body-parts
putting pennies on the trinket shelf            
talking with wending wordage            
                 about those gruff fellows
who've been pig-holing    about your dwelling

that day  you manage a back window  
                                           and escape                            
masquerade yourself  as a gentleman
but they sniff at your aromas       
              these men in crude season
they circle you hinge-hipping
as you fleet the roads and fields                        
and evade  into the dappling woods
"come on out  we have you surrounded"                              
(you say  they say)
you stay  crossed legged   a monk among trees
(these pleasing defenders)                                

you take off your dress  and string it
            from one of these trees
you dole yourself out                        
little pets for the undergrowth

           you offer a curled shrew
from the space   your kneecap once
                          occupied

you droop your warm left breast
and drop a beast from that cove
(a plump vole clambers  fresh and
                        disorientated)

you plug one arm into loose soil
                   and the fingers snake root
separation at the elbow                
              and branches sprig out

both your thighs   animate as fox cubs
your ***** leaves from between                  
                         and slinks under some ivy

your hair fiddles loose and travels off
in currents of breeze
before flitting into little finches

your back crumples with fungal looseness
your head weighs low                              
             and the jaw lumps off
shuffling   undecided on its form

your forehead bows  to kiss the earth
and your face scatters  a gaiety of insects  and spores

                  all arts patterned about
your pile continues   in this mattering manner
collapsing efficiently    
you've canonized in nature                    
now you’re abroad  mature and freed          
to tell your friend this story
a spirit  without brag of these neat powers
one with mother glory

within a coma of mouth   crept at by thieves      
hooked away the woe-ing jewels of his teeth
his face  loaved in upon the calcified essentials
(soft claw  featured  like a boxing glove)
   and the desert reclaims                                              
          ­  live mummification of the whole arresting body
proclaimed a priest-ful stickman

other realms visit this hospital bed
mothering away gifts in honour
bowing whilst backing   they withdraw
                                         his vitality

                               - peaceful veils

in her eighties                                                         ­ 
motoring in wisdoms and whimble
beddened by stroke subtle effects  
                     and an unlucky stumble
agilely un-humble                                                    
willing to poach after life    put in the work
willing to comb back in   old welcome habits
revive living  through past youthful revisits

02/05/25

I’ll see it   once I believe it          
        the holy bell is rung
           I’ll feed myself   when I deceive myself
         the holy well is deep

04/05/25

i'll draw breath  when breath is given  
                         the holy song  remains unsung
   i'll free myself  when i defeat myself
                        the holy word  bites its tongue

i love lax and i lust after slack                              
smoky streams dream out a caution
portions of nightmarish animalian fests
                                           in blue
i love the reptilian love of sunshine        
never mind the laws and mans fortune
and preservation          
of good food 
 in oil

an odious funk                  
interior swellings
   of my own decay ?

walking down the street                            
the winters day folded              
              settled snow awaiting damage
waking  as the morning fumbles with city residents
                                    and caravans of cars bumble                        
               unused to the tumble and witty wade of it all

my view is unveiled and hearted
simple vision  in fellow with the other senses
but IT'S THEN ! and then (aftershock )    something was altered
something in perception  was marched astray and put to sacrifice
just a tick off from the uncanny flank of lucid
                         and i know something's not right
my readings rank as nudged
       someone wishes me 'off the case'
what did my senses experience
       that could've been entered into evidence ?
i stop in the street and stoop my bags into the drift
why was my report changed                
       so skillfully between the source
                                            and my intake ?
just a single moment    a blur and a splice snip
what was i not meant to observe ?
was the rug pulled out from under it all
even if for only a spilt second ?
did i witness the goings on behind the scenes ?
the agents of governing wealthy illusion at work ?
adjusting the set ?  correcting an effect ?
wizarding our fantastic lives
the grand fabrication
...or perhaps  simply a feeling

.
True love showed up  skunk as a drunk                    
slunk in upon itself   preyed upon
by a whirling brain
toiling effort against earths rotation
slept it off  on my sofa                                        
    True love stayed  got comfortable
smoked cigarettes and raided the fridge
True love made a **** Joke  and put its feet on the table
outdoor boots and all   lanky legs and begging breath
leaning forward  true love took a kiss
and a gulpy gup of energy
exchanged my breath for an arid fumigation
weak   i fell about silly and forgetfully naked
i forgot the day   missed work                 
to dedicate true to the night bedded and the bottle
nest of quips and extreme **** motional thoughts
monk no longer   stronger surely with 'love'
study-study and become sturdy with love
(after all 'true love' has most certainly been untrue)
'true love' could expand from me maybe ?
i'd **** the wooly beings who contacted me
sign them up  to the great contract                          
just as the previous monster had dominated me
and let me loose                                  
a ***** criminal  with odd 'successes'
now a true monster me   fiend freed                  
                              just pull back and go

descend into the shuddery pressure deep                          
a still cold and pac like in sound reduction
unmending
arms folded over arms break loose for my way                  
my heart matter is here somewhere
below the level of finks of bioluminescence
below the predatory depth
fonds of rubbery reachers
snags of life
vented elements  from the earths magma

a high mood                                          
could skip along like a child
a practical joke      i give a sharp pull
         on the strings of Everything
jape's on me                                          
         as i am tugged from off of my feet
           and tumbled on the ground
         laughing any-which-way

the day sky   fills with lenses          
                    enough to displace the stars
but there too much for them to see
efforts made mockable
the pattern baffling the pattern
with misunderstood importance

release      and i enjoy the sun
                 for being the sun

from the window indoors
my eye swallows the weather  the trading snow for rain
pinhole funnels  swallows feelings of strangers
down on the streets
a deep hurty in-breath method
from my desk at home   treading water  my brain powers down
despite the exercises of welcomed invasion   energy does not stick
knotted against the greater surroundings
bound in a metal depression
a puddinged thing

desperate act  i switch on a light
but the fight is outside
and a long charging walk
is something i must force myself to take

the sky cuts my jowling mind                        
drops me on my back gentle   and operates
it emulsifies my tittering complications      
                     as i gaze into it
                               a marbly stupor

urination stench                
leaf decay and mans litter
yet  ... spears of green life

lilly white lies           
patterned in the dirt
             hoof trodden

you showed me an honest dark element inside of you
but   i act peppy and dismissive                      
            i laughed you off as human
your darkness ? a triviality shared amongst us all
shaved off of our common bark                      
                             common as simple saliva

you showed me... nature mother of **** and gyration
                                       the play of things
the playthings of the mischievous godlings                    
and a dark patch   was made woman for me also

i was quiet now and unresistant                              
                                 this new dark inside   an unscriptured thing
i'd been castigated and forgiven                        
          in loving unrestrained puncture

so much squawk and squall    too many people echo the walls
abrasive  and i've no block but to ingest it
wrappered and trapped in this room-without-imagination
this is fusion   a batter of coms and intel i cannot separate and
rooms instrument clamps me   pressioned still          
                         and inflates me like a berry
my vision is expelled                      
my teeth pop out    my ears whine and whistle
my pores fire out tiny dirt pellets                    
                    and my friends duck for cover

all the bombast and sonic din that entered
and all the gases combust from within                          
         I go from ‘surprising’ and ‘absurd’
                                to full on percussion and detonation

what did they do   to deserve a friend like me ?
it’ll be some time    before they enjoy a good meal in company
one without p.t.s.d.   revulsion
and  (without a choice)  in memory of me