Just a few steps down the hall,
I hear you whisper through the wall.
You left my side to get a drink
From the sudden cold, a blush of pink.

I feel a shiver on my skin
as you steal the warmth within.
Visible breath through frigid air,
The absence of you leaves me bare.

*Oh, wintertime.

How can you defend the meager walls you've built,
when you're cornered
and working with fragile hands,
to protect a fragile heart,

when the pursuit of you has become too much to fight;
when you've run as long,
and as hard
as your quick, short breaths can take you?

You can't.

Your only option is to fall on your knees,
roll with the punches,
take the pain,
and beg for mercy when all's said and done,

And though there's a certain peace in
finally admitting defeat,

The scars will emerge, reminding you of your lapse in strength,
your pursuer's victory,
and the battle that will have forever left your fragile fortress
in utter ruins.

The noise is suffocating.
I can barely breathe.
My world's started crashing,
and I'm crumbling beneath.

I don't want to care
about the feelings I've hurt.
Don't want to mind
that I belong in the dirt.

Just want to hide from the world
the wreck I've become.
To stop swinging my daggers
and make everyone numb.

Disaster, there's a victory
I can always secure.
Broken heart, I can give you one,
of that I am sure.

Compromise,
apologize,
empathize
all part of the game.
Disappointment's moniker?
One hint: It's my name.

Don't you see?

I want what you want, and possibly more.
All I want is that cluttered apartment floor,
where music is played that I've never heard,
and I relish in your every whispered word.
This has gotten a bit out of hand, has it not?
You've tangled up my heart, and now I am caught.
This will have to rest, we've had more than enough.
Besides, I've no more poetic words for you, love.
I'll resort to perpetual, compromising dreams of us
A subconscious addiction, from dawn until dusk.

How cruel is the thunder that woke me from my dreamless sleep.
I've longed for that luxury so many nights more.
I think we've finally arrived at fighting now,
A sort of anger we've not yet experienced before.

Stupid? Yes.
Stubborn? True.
You can fight me on it all night long, dear,
Because I love to fight the way we do.

I wish that having a terrible day,
a terrible night,
crying twice,
and missing you
would qualify as need enough
to break the silence,
halt the process,
and disobey our laws.

I wish that I didn't conform,
that I was brave,
and that I did what I want.

But the sanity I cling to
is that you would be the same.
Patterns repeat.
I've witnessed my share,
and though your words break me,
They are only words.

My eyes don't haunt forever.
Repetition takes the victory.
Happily ever after is only for the movies
we held each other through.

The affectionate embraces,
    the smiles,
    the laughs
marked near perfection in the night,
until guilt and all the external weight set in.
Then I felt like a *****, a shameless *****
wanting to be pure again.

So I begged him to look into my eyes.
    Tell me the color,
    Tell me they matter.
I ache for that same easy feeling just ten hours earlier,
    the immediate rush,
    the desperate longing.
******, I just want it to feel right.
At least for tonight.

With the absent adrenaline, I lay my head down,
close my eyes,
and let one drop fall.
I let him catch it with his fingertip.
I let him ask and feel concerned.
I let him believe my half-true answer.

For the sake of everything good in the world,
I just want to sleep a dreamless sleep and
wake up to thoughts of nothing.