Maybe there is love here for me
Maybe there is love
Not in the way I want to be loved
But the past 2 months have taught me a lot.
That maybe I shouldn't expect too much
Maybe I don't need to have perfection
Books as gifts and always being there
Maybe just the occasional laugh and being comfortable is enough
Maybe I'm not settling for second best
Maybe I'm being okay with being okay.
Maybe my mother and father had a love story
The kind of one you read about in novels
Maybe they were more than soulmates
I don't know why I'm using the past tense
Maybe my dad always tucking my mother in at night was enough
Maybe he didn't have to buy her flowers
Maybe him just talking to her was enough
Maybe she loving him was more than he ever wanted
Maybe bare-bones love doesn't always mean lacking
Maybe I needed to learn this
Maybe we're all enough for each other

I am too wind, salt water not from the sea
Wild intense uncontained
A lover says to me' we could never date, I would always be second best to your fantasies"
He expects this to bruise but I hold this to my heart like the sweetest compliment
I have always wanted to be too much for someone
My mother says her premature grey hair is because of me, I look down thoughtfully but I rejoice inside
She did not want fire from her womb
A tan porcelain doll with long hair to comb filled her dreams during pregnancy
Did her heart burn and my violent kicks not give me away?
I am not broken, I am not a fledgling thrown from the nest
I have not given up on myself
I will not be fixed, held taunt by ropes I do not hold myself
I am special
Clouds that cover the sun
I will move so much water
Drink the seas
Scale the sky
Just watch
Watch me fly

I walked on the sidewalk at night when my parent's were asleep
Because they don't allow me out at night
And I saw a cat cross the road
It walked along for a bit and then jumped up comically
I walked over to see what happened and it hissed at me
It's tail as thick as my upper arm
I saw a frog on the floor next to it, dead
As I walked home I didn't know whether to laugh or cry

Sometimes we don't know if we're going to be okay
and even that is okay
One day at a time while the grief subsides
if it ever does

I fall in love with people who have your name.

intense
intense
be intense
start fires
be waves and drown us all
be fiery and consume
intensify
don't pacify
yourself or others
be passion
be flames and the sun
be the moon
cause shifts of blood with gravity's rule
rule the sea and capsize
hearts and ships and stereotypes
be a queen and chop off their heads
dragon tongues and fluttering wings
ruin the ruins and break the buildings
cut the earth in half
roar

The world has dropped to its knees begging our white male dominator's to let us be
Guns swinging from your belts as money stuffs the lining of your clothing
Do not **** us, we begged you
Your power is a travesty, unfair
You would be better off sharing,I promise you
You are not worth more than I am you monster

We will not beg anymore
Because you are inhuman
un-hearted, unable to reason
More animal than animal
Demons with hell-fire in your eyes
The word loss has been shaking in my mouth for years
But the worlds collective stance means they taste it too
When genocide is permissible

Because the people you **** are not wealthy
Brown-skinned
Veiled and not passive
Because you own us, the media
our collected information
Our collective memories are worth nothing
Genocide is permissible
But ******* if you think we think so too

If you think we will go down without a fight
The history books will have your names remembered as villains
And the devil will have a special seat for you
You monsters

When genocide is permissible
I see not the end of hope
But the fury than keeps us going
You are evil
We are purity
We are loss and loss makes strength
We are dignity
Beauty
More than genocide

If I could step into the shoes of the women on this earth whose hearts are being thrown against walls by men, I would
I would shake the roots of their houses and cave them in, crushing the trauma where it happened
I would screech till my abusers ears bled from the sounds he forced out of me
Take tape and wind it round your body, over thigh, across breast, leaving holes for your mouth, ears and eyes
They can't stop you
They can't shut you down
Beautiful women who are being forced to regress from diamonds back to coal
I am with you
I am your heart and your voice
I will not leave you
We will sharpen knives together and slit the throats of the people who dare glance down our bodies,
Taking in everything but our eyes
Like a shark sniffs for blood
No predator can look it's victim in the eye as it kills it
So stare into your attackers face so he will see his emptiness reflected in your gaze
Hear his soul leave with your death rattle
Do not die in vain
Beautiful women around the world
Fight with the goddess-strength within you
Never back down
We are the portals that transport mortals into this dimension
We are the creators
We give life and we can take it away
With this kind of power who are you to give in, to submit
You are a wildfire, a storm, a tsunami
Show your true colours