There's those bad days you know?
Some never forget, some let go.
Some will blow it off, I choose to cry.
Some push on, I wish to die.
I feel I'm more important than the tv.
Obviously without words you disagree
I seen it happen so many **** times
Your too busy and sorry that's fine
But some simple attention here and there
Your just another when I'm dead you'll care
It seems like that is the best way to deal
Unfortunately it's absolutely real
When I'm dead and gone I left with the thought you didn't cared
It doesn't matter what poems at my funeral you share
I hope your happy you lost this pitiful friend
Because no one will give a **** in your end
I of course would but I'm already dead and gone
You can reflect back on my poetry and songs
Its to late to say sorry because nothing will bring me back
So maybe this poem will make think of that
I love you and somehow always will
Even over you the reasons why I choose to ****
Don't look to the heavens or into the skies
Because your filling yourself with nothing but lies
There is nothing special about death but erasing of the pain
I hope you come to mind when it storms and rains

deep in the inner circle I stood.
surrounded by people. wanting to hurt or **** me. I produced my gun and shot. i shot to **** and defend and that's what happened. but no one ran or fled. they froze in fear. my yells and war Cry's did not move them the slightest. I roared and howled with no avail. I shot again killing this time just killing. And still they all stood around not moving not making a sound. just standing, watching, and staring but still blocking my way to freedom an escape. Another shot, another death, closer to an escape.

Do you feel depressed and all alone?
Passing depressing thoughts by getting ******.
Listening to your parents because they know whats best.
Going to school and the bully pokes at your chest.
Coming home every other day with black and blue eyes.
You keep your self locked away and everyone wonders why.
Does it seem like everyone so smiley and happy?
Do you wonder why you can't be?
Don't you hate when it seems like you don't exist?
Still keeping to yourself filling with rage getting pist?
Wondering how you could get back at them.
As you remove your *** from its last stem.
Getting closer to those feelings of suicide.
Everyone asks and still the feelings you hide.
Filled in a world with sad and stupid regrets.
Thinking of all the ******* taunts and threats.
And when people push you to listen and talk.
Thinking empty thoughts on that cold lonely walk.
But the control over them is on your side.
It's up to you if your ready for your suicide.

I want to be...
I want to be seen.

I'm the twelve year old girl looking for escape.
I'm the slutty little innocence looking for ****.
Take my hand, kiss me, love me, stand by my side.
Play with me, I'll be at the playground around five.
Feel my preteen ******* as your **** grows.
Give me attention, tell me I'm ****, don't let go.
Let me flatter you with the little I know.
Faster and faster please don't slow.
Tell me how cute I look in my skirt today.
Hold my hand and take me far, far away.
I know your older and I think that's ****.
Do whatever, whatever you want to me.
Smiling at school as my braces shine in the light.
Keeping my teeth straight and a stuffed bra to look right.
Everyone warns me, but don't worry I don't listen.
Because after school it's you I'll be kissin'.
I know you'll love and take care of me.
**** the world, counseling, and therapy.
I lost my family and friends but your still there.
And the money and drugs you have, you share.
No more school and far away from home.
Where are you? Now I am all alone.

How much I feel inside today is painful to mention.
Naughty again sitting in detention.
This medication doesn't help how I feel.
Is there anything that will allow me to heal.
I'm in danger every minute of my pitiful life.
Looking once again to get ahold of a knife.
I'm going crazy and I don't know what to do.
To feel better I fantasize about you.
But your already dead and gone.
And we continue life as nothing is wrong.
Sin emerges out of nowhere like an earthquake.
There's not much more of this I can take.
So far from reality everyone is gone again.
I can't even rely on a single friend.
But in the end I think it will be ok.
Every night I sleep I pray again for a better day.
Will it come? No one knows.
I guess we wait for spring rain to drip from the rose.

I hate myself, I wish I would die.
Its like starring death in his eyes.
But death never makes a move or sound.
Its like time stopped but everyone moves around.
I flirt with razors and guns.
Only stopping because of my daughters and son.
If something takes me, take me soon.
I wish I would die this very afternoon.
To much stress, to much pressure.
To much pain, not enough pleasure.
Quietly laying and starring at the ceiling.
Suffering from a malfunctioning thing called feelings.

I feel so sick and I'm alone.
Listening to the empty dial tone.
Starring out the window at a miserable dream.
I sit quietly because no one would hear me scream.
Watching the fury things scramble on the T.V.
Pumped full of depression, sitting in the world that killed me.
Pacing around wondering how I even managed to move.
I know below these wrists my blood still runs blue.
Sitting, standing, walking, anything to pass the time.
The way I think should be considered a crime.
I can't speak of what I really think and feel.
And the nightmares become all to real.
I look outside as I turn off the lights.
Letting the manic episodes give way to eerie voices and sights.
If I could let my mind rest than I would know.
When I come to lively and deadly fork in the road Ill know which way to go.