I’d cursed fate, I’d cursed the local gardens,
Where tulips bloomed in perfect patterns
The poppies red, the roses fair,
But not a single one felt rare

I was not pink, I was not bright,
I was the shade, the stem, the slight
No petals danced upon my stem,
I envied those who carried them

I was green—just green—no hue,
No blushing pink, no morning dew
A leaf alone, without a flower,
A half-thing born from root and hour

And so, I was a green leaf, just a part,
A lonely stem, a hollow heart
No pink petals graced my view,
I thought I’d never be whole or new

So I fled the garden, left behind
The pretty stems the world designed
And found a pond, serene, apart,
Where lotus flowers dared to start

That’s where I saw you: pink and warm,
Petals soft, defying norm
But something missing in your grace,
No green leaves wrapped around your base

At first, it scared me, how you fit,
How close we grew, how well we knit
But nature, wise and full of grace,
Had always planned this perfect place

But pink needs green, and green needs pink,
Together we are more than we think
A lotus formed not by one alone,
But leaf and petal, stem and stone

Some flowers don’t sprout all alone,
Some roots must tangle to feel grown
You, pink petals—tender, true
And I, green leaves, built just for you

Together, we are something rare,
A lotus strong in love and care
You, the petals soft and kind,
Me, the leaves that hold and bind

I wish I could project the past,
Play every scene and frame it fast,
A channel made of memory’s hue,
So all I love could see it too

They’d see the tremble in my hand,
The way my breath would barely stand,
The way a glance could make me break,
The way all of me was more than fake

Poetry mimics what hearts convey,
It paints with words that we can’t say
Though poetry holds pain and grace,
It cannot write a warm embrace

I’ve got stories to tell, whole worlds in my head,
But the ink runs dry when I’m close to the thread
Some things are sacred, too real to share,
Moments too fragile for open air

You love the boy I let you find,
But he is made, not born, in mind
A crafted mask, a practiced art,
A ghost of self, a split apart

He smiles on cue, he speaks with grace,
But he is only in my place
An echo dressed in borrowed light,
A shadow playing at being right

Yet still you love this polished shell,
The tale I spin, the dream I sell
But if you saw what lies beneath,
Would kindness turn to ash and grief?

If truth uncoiled from under skin,
Would love collapse from where it’s been?
Would you still look me in the eye,
If I told you this “me” was a lie?

You’ve hurt me more than you may know,
But still, I’d never strike a blow
I took your pain, I wore your shame,
Yet dream of flames I cannot name

For what I dream to do, to say,
Would wash your peace like stars away
A wave no surfer’s strength could bear,
You’d drown in tears, stripped raw and bare

You cry at oceans—I at stars,
At nebulae and bleeding scars
Your grief is deep, but not like mine,
I’ve swallowed time, and called it fine

I am not Earth, nor built for ease,
Not shaped by gardens, sun, or trees
I am a moon of Saturn’s brood,
Born of ash and solitude

Among her moons, I spin and burn,
While others freeze and never yearn
They orbit close with silent pride,
I flare with longing none can hide

I am the ember in her ice,
A misfit fire in rings precise
I circle like the rest must do,
But always dream of something new

My gaze is fixed beyond her light,
To Earth’s pale moon in endless night
That single sphere in velvet black,
Whose face reflects the love I lack

I ache to break this orbit’s bind,
To find a home more like my mind
I gaze toward Earth, where one moon glows,
Faint and familiar, through the cosmos it shows

For if I left this frigid ring,
What would my solemn Saturn think?
If I, the ember in her shade,
Defied the path tradition made?

Would Saturn weep, or would she rage?
Would guilt confine me to this cage?
Or would she sigh, and let me fly—
To chase the moon that caught my eye?

How many times can one restart
Before they lose their beating heart?
Is there a line where second chances
Turn to ghosts in fractured glances?

Each version built, then swept away,
I ask, how much of me will stay?

My future spreads, a boundless sea,
Each wave a path calling to me
I crave them all, each shining shore

And my future stretches, vast and wide,
A thousand doors on every side
And oh, I ache to walk through them all
Yet once I choose one to open, the rest refuse my call

I crave the change I also dread,
It dances loud inside my head
For when you’ve lived in chains so long,
They start to feel like where you belong

They bind me tight, they hold me still,
They crush my voice, they break my will,
But in their grip, I’ve come to stay,
And fear the world without their sway

What would I do, if I were free?
No walls, no locks, no weight on me?
This place, though cold, I’ve come to know,
It shaped my steps, it taught me “no.”

My dreams keep whispering through the dark,
But even dreams have lost their spark
For even there, I fear the cost,
Afraid to find what I have lost

I long for joy, yet flinch from light,
I watch it glowing, clear and bright,
But I’ve lived so long in shadow’s arms,
The sun, to me, might do me harm

How can I walk with eyes so gray,
Into a gold and blinding day?
Without the chains to pull me back,
What compass guides the open track?

What rules exist when none remain?
What shape is joy that’s born from pain?
And so I stay, both near and far,
A prisoner who guards their own bar

I think I knew it all along,
My hands were built for breaking, not for song
I tried to hold you soft and true,
But clumsy hearts don’t hold like steady glue

And I think I knew it from the start,
A storm can’t love the stillness of the chart
And so I loosed the knot I tied,
And watched you drift along the evening tide

You were the lighthouse far from reach,
A soul I touched but could not teach
A love I bore but never wore,
A knock I left outside your door

I kept my claws behind the veil,
Afraid they’d carve more grief than tale
You’ll never see the war I fought,
To stay away though near I sought

They’d call me cruel, they’d say I fled,
They’d ask what thoughts ran through my head
Do you recall my quiet hands?
And wonder why they missed demands?

Why they refused to dry your eyes?
Or failed to chase your fading skies?
Why they stood idle at the shore,
And never dared to pull you more?

The truth is this, I feared to bruise
To grip too hard, and still to lose
So I became the ghost you met,
A love you’ll mourn, but not regret