Words
which burn our eyes. Punctuation
as closures; Defined
in closed throats*.

Breathe unto lifeless form
Heartbeats sailing on jagged rocks
Inside is a turbulent storm
Of a cynic who mocks

Oh Joy, that infernal thing
Have no use for it, that devil
Anguish it will always bring
Nay, to it I'll not be civil

Curse it, curse myself
Fleeting smiles untethered
Flight at once with deft
Never lastingly fettered

Price too high, I daresay
Sweetness leaves a sour taste
For the brave willing to pay
Would I do so in haste?

It was just a wall
they were just kids
writing “freedom”
but those words delivered an invitation
to test what that meant
It was a tipping point
in the struggle to understand
the breathing pattern
of liberation
and freedom

they soon understood that first comes an exhalation
jubilee
the ecstasy of that introductory spark
Maybe soon there will be fireworks--
inhale.
one
long
inhale
swallowing the spark whole
I wonder if they understood when
they pulled off their fingernails
when they tore flesh
when they burned cigarettes
on their skin
when they drove them into the cold and blackness


This inhale has not been released
creating a vacuum
of fear
explosions writing
2 years of war
more than 70,000 dead
1,000 children
80,000 displaced

if you looked up
just once
you would see
Sleeping Beauty
the little girl, so restful she seemed
if you don’t ask how she died
if you looked at her hands, her hair, her face
and refused to look away
If you lengthened your drifting attention span
you would see her
and us

children,
in the cold and blackness
Learning to breathe again after watching our best friend being shot
or cousin tortured
this repetition doesn’t make anything easier
this infinity of sorrow
doesn’t shrink the farther you venture on
and as you watch this supposed infinity
through a screen
do not cease to be in content
with its vastness


I know what infinity feels like
and it is heavy
the bruises on my back
are noble
and I do believe my own children will one day tell of them
with pride on their tongues
but I cannot balance this weight
on backbone alone
they have burned my flesh
they have charred my heart
but I know the difference between
machine guns
and open palms clawing at the stars
they can come at me a million times
but someone will take my place
and hundreds will take theirs
because their smoke can only clear
but our flame has been born within us
We are candles in the sky
no matter how hard you blow
you cannot win
our flame will
not
die.

Christian, seek not yet repose,
Cast thy dreams of ease away;
Thou art in the midst of foes:
Watch and pray.

Canaan has for thee been won,
Christ triumphant led the way;
In His might possess thine own!
Watch and pray.

In the heavenlies see that land,
Satan would thine entrance stay;
Thou against his wiles must stand:
Watch and pray.

When we die
We sink back
Into that from which
We came

We reconnoiter
Our stuff
With that from which
We were delivered

And it takes
A bit of time
No one
Can be sure
How long

Because
Well
The process
Of reconnoitering

Starts with our rotting away from what we are now  
Involves some process
Or another
Of our being reabsorbed into the Earth and her elements  
Being redistributed  
Here and there  
And everywhere

Over that period of time
I am fairly certain
We cannot know
Ourselves as we are now

That is to say
There will certainly
Shortly after we die
Be an ending of neural pathways firing
And a stillness of thoughts
Even those that let us therefore be

And given enough time
Some of those elements
That were
Within us
Will certainly
Be without
What we now
Call us

And all of the elements
That we now
Call
us

Will
have
to
deal
W
i
t
h

t
h
e

p
r
o
c
e
s
s
O
f
B
e
i
n
g
W
i
t
h
o
u
t
N
e
u
r
a
l
F
i
r
i
n
g
s
A
n
d
W
h
a
t
W
e
N
o
w
C
a
l
l
u
s

And given
Even more
Time
As much as
random
Dissociated time
Needs
Elements
Of what we now
Call Us
Will be within
What we would now
Call other
Living things

Or, one living thing, viewed not through the lens of time.

As a poem
On an
Infinitely long
And strange
page

you are my wonder,
you

all i can not figure out,
you

all i think about,
you

last night i dreamt about,
you

last week i lost,
you

this week i want,
you

my hope is all,
you

my life is,
you

light at the end of my tunnel,
you

star in the day sky,
you

savior of mine,
you

heart breaker,
you

one who loved me,
you

wanted to marry,
you

didn't want to lose,
you

had a choice didn't choose,
you

fell in love with,
you

had no option but,
you

saved me from defeat,
you

stuck me on repeat,
you

held my breath around,
you

let me heart be free beside,
you

wrote a poem just for,
you

sang a song for,
you

cried all night about,
you

died inside from,
you

caught myself after,
you

fell back for,
you

took for granted,
you

regret,
you

love,
you

miss,
you

need,
you

want,­
you

you
you
you.