Black leather elf boots
Leggings
Cheetah print mini-skirt
Suede short coat
Too long in the sleeves
Someone's sweater with
A hole under the arm
One thumbprint sized bruise on my neck
Make-up frozen, clumped in the night air
Within my cone of oasis
From the halogen above
My breath mingles with the
Bile colored light
Smelling like Newports and tooth decay
I hug my self for warmth and
Shuffle foot to foot
Comforted only by the
Bulge in my boots
Representing the last few hours work
I clutch my purse tight
My toolbox
Not hammers or wrenches but
Tools of my trade
Baby wipes, sanitizer, tampons, and condoms
I hear a car slowing
Harsh redness of brake lights
Bloodies the vacant buildings
I lean toward the
Lowered window wondering
Will I continue to
Be the predator or
Fall tonight as prey

Born of fear, fueled by anger
This resentment I feel for you
Creates abscesses on my soul
Poison filled sacs of toxic hate which
Rise like bile in my gullet
To choke my spirit
Much like the dead alcoholic
Who's aspirated on
His own ***** and phlegm
A bloated purple carcass
Devoid of autonomy of spirit
Self-obsession robs me
Of conscious truth
Fear - that your indictments
Against me will be brought
Before the grand jury of
The universe and I will be found lacking
Resentment - at you for not becoming
A willing patron of
My brand of truth
Anger - at me for my own failings
Brought to light
Secrets I can no longer hide
While my defects are
Glaringly obvious to
One as enlightened as
You purport to be
Did not your path to
Spiritual perfection
Contain the blueprint to
Correct your vain sins of glory and
Indignant self-deception?
Is not your lofty status
Grand enough to look upon
My humiliated soul with
Something less than contempt?

I have nothing to say to you
You who killed me with
Kindness coated psychosis
Sublime smile subtly secreting
An insidious succubus
A devil draped in
The raiments of salvation
Holding my sins
In your personal vault
Grand schemes of subterfuge
Disguised to convince me
I was wholly beyond repair
And only whole under your care
Twisted morality and values
Repackaged as love and adoration
Sold at a discount, no warranty
Which I bought, no questions asked
Slick salesman snake tongue
Singing it's seductive sales pitch
Across my soul
Grasping, understanding, and manipulating
My penchant for shiny things
You had my credit at your disposal
So adamant were you that the defects
Lie within the buyer alone
Never once alluding to the
Damaged goods that
Lie within the lie

Thoughts like twisted metal
Decayed and rust pitted
Remnants from a forgotten world
Where gild was the norm
A world that has moved on
But not forgotten the sickness which
Lay beneath the veneer of normalcy
So, what is normal?
Worker Bee?
Family man?
Taxpayer?
Citizen?
Church goer?
The artifacts of that lost civilization
Tells us normal is chaos
Normal is war
Normal is stalking the hunted prey
Normal is vivisected torsos and
Entrails in my sand box
The monster is alive and gnashing
With ferocity against the
Dovetailed timbers of
His prison
No need to do push-ups for this one
He is insidious and ever lurking
Bowie knife at the ready
Slashing his own throat and
Strengthend from every self ******
He waits and dreams
Of devious schemes
In which I give him back the key

She sells herself to finance her suicide
Surrendering to the seductive siren sensation
One more hit of his pipe translates to
One more hit of her pipe
One more putrid ***** transforms to
One more skillful stick

She murders dignity to pursue decadence
Mumbling monotone mantras maniacally
One more trip around the block equates to
One more moral placed in hock
One more greasy smile amounts to
One more dance with denial

She absorbs abuse to save souls
Protecting proteges poised for perdition
One more lash of leather corresponds to
One more tickle of a feather
One more session of spanks brings
One more gesture of thanks

She stifles all semblance of normalcy
Wallowing wordlessly within her weathered world
One more pain converts to
One more gain commutes to
One more pain to one more pain