Underneath it is dark.
Underneath it is warm, but cold
Dark but bright
Heavy but light
Beautiful and hideous
Peaceful and chaotic
Safe but dangerous
What do I do?
I love my home underneath,
But
I
Need
To
Leave.
It’s too dangerous here.

I know that leaving you was
For the best but God
Does it ache to be alone

Can't think of any-
thing to write on this cold night
What then shall I do?

There's a place where there is peace
You are with me there
Rest, my child, and find your own
Leave your cares

Rest, my dear, and find your sleep
Underneath the trees
Birds will roost, and be content
Rest my dear

There's a song that's coming here
Runs into my ears
Gives me laughter in my heart
Dries my salty tears

Meet me there, my restless child
Close your sleepy eyes
There's a place where we will meet
Underneath the skies

Sink so deep into the earth
Where the grass will grow
And your weary sighs will plant
Flowers in the snow

There's a song that I have heard
Long into the breeze
Sing it with me now, my child
Underneath the trees

Meet me there
Meet me there
Rest your weary eyes, my child
And meet me there

Lullaby goodnight, my child
Do what you do best
Find the place where sparrows roost
Find the place of rest

Mondays are hard.
He only wants me for my body-
For the way I was made
But he also wants me
To perform
For him.
I can never understand
What he wants from me.

I love him, but I hate him.
God, help me!
I can't do this on my own.
I love him but I hate him.

Tuesdays are light.
He looks at me like I am the only thing
In the world
The only person.
He holds me tight
And tells me he loves me
Without hurting me.

I love him, but I hate him.
God, help me!
I can't do this on my own.
I love him but I hate him.

Wednesdays are long.
He has had a
Long day
Of work
And dealing with his boss.
He will let me hold him
And rock him to sleep,
Brushing my cold fingers across his sweaty back
While he falls into a slumber

I love him, but I hate him.
God, help me!
I can't do this on my own.
I love him but I hate him.

Thursdays he is happy.
He gets to see his
Delinquent mother
And visits his
Abusive father in jail
Only to spit in his face every time
And tell him he hates him.
I don't get it.
My faith wanes more every day.

I love him, but I hate him.
God, help me!
I can't do this on my own.
I love him but I hate him.

Fridays are better.
He doesn't think about
Anything but me
We go out together
Holding hands
In dark
Theater
Seats
While we share popcorn
And memories.

I love him, but I hate him.
God, help me!
I can't do this on my own.
I love him but I hate him.

Saturdays are terrible.
He drinks
And
Drinks
And
Drinks
Until he's not the same
Person he was
On Friday.
I don't get it.
Why can't he just love me?
He hurts me
And beats me
Bruises
Everywhere.
Hidden, but there.

I love him, but I hate him.
God, help me!
I can't do this on my own.
I love him but I hate him.

Sundays are amazing...and awful.
He is gone.
I can bask in the back row of the church
Singing with my fellow Christians,
Praying with them
Not thinking about him
Loving my God
But at the same time
I know
That in a few hours,
I will have to go back to him.
To his anger
His rage.
And tomorrow,
It will all start again.

I love him, but I hate him.
God, help me!
I can't do this on my own.
I love him but I hate him.
I love him but I hate him.

It's so unfair
So incredibly unfair
So unfortunately rediculously, messed-up unfair
That you
Of all people you
Get to live the life
I should have
You get to be happy
You get to be loved
You get to have no worries
When you're the one who left
You left me in pieces
With no one
No one to put me back together

It's okay to be
Broken
Lonely
Insane
And fantastical
Just keep slaying your dragons

When the world seemed to drown,
I would call on my God.
The rain-it seemed-came down and down.
I hid in my abode.

My sin-it was a cloak
I used to hide away.
I distanced me from other folk
And got worse every day.

But then I heard a voice.
It whispered through the rain
It drew me near without a choice.
Said “you won’t be hurt again.”

It said to me, “My child,
Your sin is for the past.
Your chains are gone, so sing a song:
For you are free at last.”

When I’ve done my faithful part,
And all the world doth swell,
I know this now with all my heart:
My God does all things well.

And hence forever more,
I’ll reach the golden shore.
And then, at last, my Lord will pass
And love me nothing for.

Then, joy shall reign again.
We’ll see the face of God.
No sin, no loss, no pain, just cross.
And love shall come, my friend.

My sin-it was a cloak.
I used to hide away.
But now I sing to other folk
“When God found me that day”

I'd die for you
Because
I'd die without you.

I miss your smile
I miss your laugh
I miss your lips
I miss your hands
I miss your eyes
I miss your cheeks
I miss our time
I miss our weeks
I miss your house
I miss your friends
I miss your hugs
But it all ends

I miss your love
I miss your face
But you said you
Needed space

I miss your texts
I miss the mornings
But what I really miss
Is how much you
Used to love me

Because I didn't think
Of all things
That that was a lie
Too

You ask me who I'm missing
And I don't know how to say
That the one who I'm remembering
Is the me from younger days

We, my dear
Are falling stars
Falling in love
And the sky
Is the backdrop of our hearts.

How am I supposed
To know how to help you out
If you won't tell me?

How is it that we can be so gentle
And protective of others
While being so harsh
And violent with ourselves?

I fell asleep praying for your soul
And when I woke, I prayed some more

I read emotions like I read books.
Quick and decisive.