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 5d Lyle
eliana
Someone once told me " A woman who gives birth doesn't make her your mother. It's the nights they spend caring about you, looking out for you, giving you a roof to live under."
My mom REALLY lacked that.

It hurts so bad to sit back and think about all the times we had spent together, laughter filling the room but in reality it was just a face. A mask.
A mask who hid the woman that birthed me. A mask that hid the fact that maybe you shoudnt have had me if you lacked what it takes to BE a mother.

Yeah you bought me fun toys at the dollar store, told me to play video games if i was bored, but you didn't protect me.
You didn't protect me from the shouting and slamming between you and him.
You didn't protect me when you crashed into those bricks.
You didn't protect me when I was beneath the bed hearing glass smash.
You didn't protect me mom.
You just didn't.
Now you face the consequences of your actions and maybe, just maybe you'll regret having made such dumb, ignorant mistakes.
idk if this even counts as a poem but yeah. i miss my mom and i hope someday i will reunite with her. any feedback pls and thxs!
 5d Lyle
eliana
I don't think you will
Ever fully understand
How you've touched my life
And made me who I am.

I don't think you could ever know
Just how truly special you are,
That even on the darkest nights
You are my brightest star.

You've allowed me to experience
Something very hard to find,
Unconditional love that exists
In my body, soul, and mind.

I don't think you could ever feel
All the love I have to give,
And I'm sure you'll never realize
You've been my will to live.

You are an amazing person,
And without you I don't know where I'd be.
Having you in my life
Completes and fulfills every part of me.
i love you bestfriend and im so glad i met yu đź’—.
 5d Lyle
eliana
I slit my wrist to erase the pain.
you look at me and think I'm insane.
My eyes turn red, bleeding my tears,
and still you try to protect me from my worst fears.
Look at my scars, then you will see
why I can't seem to go around and fake happy,
yet you tell me you love me, that you'll forget,
for I'll soon be gone, and I'll be your greatest regret.
So let me die, broken and scarred,
I can't deal with life, it's getting far too hard.
Everything's gone wrong; it's not worth trying,
so leave me alone because I feel like I'm dying.
I don't want you to worry,
because my life is ending in a hurry.
I'll be fine and happy, you see,
for death is what I wished for and soon it will be.
ive been having the urge to relapse but i havent so im glad!
 5d Lyle
eliana
We live in a generation
Where the lack of verbal conversation
has made all of us blind.
We all hide behind
our shiny, protective screens
where what words truly mean
is blanketed by lighthearted connotations
followed by a lack of punctuation.

But those lighthearted phrases
Cause others to go through phases
Where the light is stolen from their hearts.
They see what others call jokes
as simply a hoax
to disguise with lies
the darkness hiding behind their eyes.
It is intended to hurt,
to prove their worth
and to unearth all your insecurities.
While some go through phases
others get caught in mazes
that drag them ever deeper
into the fiery flame pit of self hate.

This self hate, they do not appreciate.
They let themselves bite the bait
instead of getting the story straight.

We live in a time where the muscles of our thumbs
are stronger than the muscles of our minds.
Enough so that our eyes are blind
to the downfalls and issues of mankind.
“If I can’t see it, it isn’t there.”
Oh, but our satellites, those things up there?
And the tectonic plates below us where
some of the greatest destruction brews without a care.
...Those exist, right?
You can’t see those.
So you shove those away,
like a box of old clothes
and make way for your own
delightful fantasy you call your own.

“Life is hard.”
You don’t know hard,
until you see the scars
someone gouged into themselves
to escape the iron bars
weighing them down to life.

You don’t know hard
until you see someone’s mutation
from normalization
to one of pure starvation of love,
and devastation,
because they were a victim of miscreation.

You say you’re not bullies,
but you destroy someone’s life with relative ease,
tearing down their fragile shield of protection
and steering them in the wrong direction.

Just a simple word, directed towards someone,
“Stupid.” “Fat.” “Ugly.”
Can remove a person’s life completely of glee,
make the light vanish from their soul,
and make their life seem like the Dust Bowl.
There is no “making amends.”
So the next time you open your lips
and put your hands on your hips,
before the words roll off the tip
of your tongue,
Look into their eyes
and be willing to compromise
because you don’t know how they feel inside.
Sometimes it is better to be silent than to be heard
because the tragedies caused by the spoken word
are better left unheard.

Everyone has dreams,
and everything is not what it seems,
and before you see the streams
of tears running down their face
as they scream in frustration
that their life is a state of desolation
you’re better off being silent,
than violent.

And just as everything is not what it seems,
I…
am not what I seem...
"I love you"

I didn't realize those words

Could also be used 

As a goodbye
 5d Lyle
lia
I wear my grin like porcelain—
polished, perfect,
cracked beneath.

They see the shine,
not the spiderwebs
that threaten to split me clean.

I laugh on cue,
walk the line,
but every step feels like a dare—
will I break,
or bend again?

No one notices the hairline fault.
They only see
a masterpiece
that never asked
to be displayed.

But here’s the twist
they’ll never know:
I dropped the real me
years ago.
 5d Lyle
star
untitled (7:22 pm / 19:22)
i don’t want to live i want to die
what’s wrong with me
what did i do
it’s all my fault isn’t it

it’s so hard to go on
and for no reason
no reason other than myself

looking up overdosages of pain meds on incognito
or even antidepressants
but doctors, they’ve made sure i can’t do that

i want to die because then it’ll be peaceful
quiet
nothing
darkness
no one
 5d Lyle
lizie
do not fall in love with people like me.
i will destroy you
so beautifully
yet so quietly
that you won’t even realize you’re gone
until you are.

not because i want to.
because some part of me thinks loving me
is something you have to survive.

i will pull away
when all i want is to be pulled closer.
i will freeze
when you offer warmth.
i will try to disappear
just to see if you come looking.

and you will.
and that will break me
more than it ever breaks you.

so do not fall in love with people like me,
unless you can love someone
who is still learning
how to be loved.
 5d Lyle
star
happy 6.17.25 (7:35 pm / 19:35)
it’s so hard to learn to be the old me
a person who’d never seen the dark
and never touched the edges
and never been drowning

it’s so hard to learn to be better
so hard to forget the razor in the bathroom drawer
if you tested it
there’d be my blood

it’s so hard to stop
so hard to keep wearing long sleeves in the summer
so hard to ignore your strange glances
you’re right,
you were right when you said i’ve changed

it’s too hard to be happy

[playing: 2 hold u by clairo]
 6d Lyle
Liana
And my entire body
Is overwhelmed
By pain
Depression

My heart
Brain
Wrists
All so ready to
Just
Give
Out
Again. **** it happened again. No one is answering my messages. Everything is pain.
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