they asked me
what it was
in you
that i fell
in love with

what made you
the earth
my moon
revolved around

and my mind
started rushing

how do i
capture your
beauty in
a sentence

how do i
explain the
way you
tilt your head
when you laugh
or the way
you kiss when                    
you're sleepy
to people
who are too
mundane
to understand
                            
how do i
begin to
define you

i could say
that you
are the
sunshine
seeping through
my shut curtains
after a night
of a hurricane

i could say
that you
are the
feeling of
the airplane
rising from
the ground
and that you
are the beauty of
watching the clouds
dance with you
as you flew        

being with you
is that
blissful moment
when you
jump off
a swing for
the first time,
oblivious to        
the fact that
you are falling      

you are the
fragment
between awake
and asleep,
that moment
of dreams
beginning

your name
is my
heartbeat
but it is
also the
onomatopoeia
of a heart
breaking beyond
repair

you are
the stars
and you
are the storm
and you are
the calm
sea with                          
all its secrets

you are the
moment of
hesitation,
looking both
ways before
i cross
the street

you are the
buckled
seatbelt

the reason
why i fear
death and
oblivion

you are the
speechlesness    
of a poet,
the girl worth
a thousand words
but is incredibly
undescribable

and i guess
that is why
i can't
define you

because
definitions
are often
a conclusion,
only for
things that
are constant
and unchanging

and you
aren't that

you are
the moon's
unending
phases

the sea's
wild waves
and boundless
horizon

the ever
changing
girl who
remains
perfect

and all the
words in this
world are
never ever
enough to

define

you

I would like to formally apologize
for the size of my lungs
because they will never be
as expansive as my love
or as loud as my voice
longs to be as heard
or as tumultuous as my passion
rumbles in need of parallel composition

and I just want to say sorry
that I dream to donate
every cubic inch of air
that my tiny chest can or rather cannot hold and breathe it into you
in attempt to make you whole again instead of the ghostly thin form
you hold above my head nowadays
but today is Sunday
and my hands are dry and cracking
from the Friday on which
I finally admitted to myself
that my lack of air is exactly the reason why you don't search me out
for respiration even when you're
grasping and gasping
out of suffocating solitude

this apology is spelled out in sighs
those breaths you told me to hold in
youthfully long exhales
I promised you I would never pick up a cigarette once you started chain smoking
I'm choking in this secondhand smoke
let me fall through your fingers like ashes
the golden spark has died
put out my flame with your heel
stamp it into your coffin so the world doesnt catch fire
deprive it of oxygen
tell it youre sorry for not wrapping your hands around its neck before now

tell it you're sorry that sometimes I find myself becoming angry at the parchment crumpling between my palms because the FRAILTY OF MY HANDS WONT COMPLY WITH THE HUNGER FOR EXPLANATION AND EXPLOITATION OF MY BRAIN AND MAYBE ITS THAT IMMATURE NEED FOR OXYGEN AGAIN BUT I HEAR MYSELF CRYING OUT FOR RELEASE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT NOT BECAUSE YOURE HOLDING ME AT THIS PRECARIOUS EDGE BUT BECAUSE YOU CHOOSE TO NEVER TIP ME OVER.
(a sharp intake of breath)


(exhale)


I can't breathe.
I think I might be allergic to you.
I think you might be bad for my health.

there are three thousand miles between your sandy shores of ironically ****** air and my rainy lakes of needles. you'd think the contrary.

you lost your ashtray and replaced it with my inhaler.

I would like to formally apologize
for the size of my lungs
because they will never be
as expansive as your love
or as loud as your voice
longs to be as heard
or as tumultuous as your passion
rumbles in need of parallel composition

we are both still learning to breathe

help me
  i've seen
to have
f
  a
     l
         l
            e
                 n
       hopelessly
    treacherously
   and most of all
unforgivingly
   in love
     with you.
   is it the way your lips move
when you creep in a smile
  or maybe the way your heart breaks
   when you haven't seen someone in a while?