Lindsey Eleanor

Lindsey Eleanor Dec 2012

I need you
Your hand in my hand
Your body pressed against mine
Your lips on my lips
Your arms around me
Your smile warming my heart
Your laugh ringing in my ears
Your eyes catching mine
Your voice singing to me
You next to me when I wake up
I need you
I want you
I need you

Lindsey Eleanor Dec 2012

Demons in the Shadows

I really don't think you understand.

I’ve had to deal with everybody else’s **** and their problems have been piled up on me ever since I can remember.

And I thought I could take it. I really did.

But then everything started to collapse all at once. Everything started to cave in on me again and I felt like I was sprinting towards the last sliver of light in the sky when the earth gave out below my feet and I began to tumble for the millionth time through the never ending darkness.

I believed that maybe, if I tried, I could make it look like there was nothing wrong. Like I was okay.

And everybody bought it. Everybody believed me when I laughed at their jokes, or when I told them how great my life was, or when I said I was happy.

What a load of ******* that is.

I’ve never been happy. I’ve never been able to smile until my cheeks hurt or laugh until I’m crying. Because everything that was once happy and youthful about me has been destroyed by the demons this world hides in its shadows.

By the burdens of others.

I’m trying, okay? I’m really ******* trying to get you to understand me.

But it’s you that can’t open your heart long enough to get it.

Lindsey Eleanor Dec 2012

Singing In The Dawn

There's a song in the distance
I can hear it softly playing
And I can hear the children singing
Words you once were saying

Words that once were comforting
To my weak and broken soul
But now they ring like loud, loud bells
And the noise -- it takes its toll

You spoke of worlds that were so warm
And welcoming to my heart
I longed to go there and become
A piece of your own art

But alas, that wasn't what was to be;
It was not involved in my future
Yet I still wish to be in your life
And as do you, too, sir

So I let you in my sacred mind
And let you see what I see
I wanted you to understand
How I came to be

And when you entered my little world
You saw things I never share
The things I'm always thinking of
And you seemed to care

It was the first time anyone
Had ever really cared
So I shared with you my life story
And you -- you weren't scared

Not of the shadows
Who lurk behind me
Not of the ghosts
That always find me

Not of the stories
I've always known
Not of the place
That I called home

You accepted who I was
Everything I've ever been
You accepted me for me
And I felt happy again

At last, here you are
Singing your old songs
At last, here we are
Singing in the dawn

Lindsey Eleanor Dec 2012

I'm Yours, Darling

Hold me
Tell me I'm yours
Tell me you want me to stay
And that you won't let me go

Sing to me
Sing me anything at all
Whether it's out of tune
Or in perfect time

Kiss me
Slowly and sweetly
With a passion you don't let others know
Let our lips collide

I'm yours, my darling
No one will take me away
And I have to admit to you
I can't stop thinking about you

You never leave my mind
You're all I think about
You're all I see
To me, you're perfect

I won't run away
I won't leave you
I won't hurt you
I promise

Don't be afraid of my past
Or of the shadows
That lurk behind me
They don't matter

You matter
You and only you
I won't leave you
I'm falling for you, darling

Hold me.
Sing to me.
Kiss me.
I'm yours.

Lindsey Eleanor Dec 2012

Wanting & Waiting

I have so many questions

Who am I?
What is my purpose?
Where will I end up?
How will I die?
What will I do?
Who will I love?

Who will love me?

But more than anything
I wonder about you
And me
And where we'll be
In five years

Will we know each other?
Will we remember each other?
Will I have ever meant something to you?
What will we have come to be?

But I'm afraid of the answer
Because I'm terrified that you,
Just like everyone else,
Will forget me

*I don't want to be forgotten

Lindsey Eleanor Dec 2012

You, Me & Time

I want to spend all the time in the world with you.

I want to sing you to sleep
And kiss you whenever I want
And hug you from behind
And play with your hair
And watch movies with you
And cuddle on the couch
And hold your hand
And kiss your neck
And lie in bed next to you while we lay in your arms and talk about what we'll do together.

I want to be yours,
and I want to say you're mine.

*I think that possibly, maybe I'm falling for you, my darling.

Lindsey Eleanor Nov 2012

Music is infinite.

I wish I could just melt into music.

I know that sounds weird, but I wish I could just become a never ending, legato phrase of music. Life takes so much out of me. I want to become an undying piece of beauty that will never be forgotten.

Music isn’t just something I listen to, or something that passes time.

Music is everything.

Every hour of every day and every night, there is music playing in my mind. It never stops. There’s nothing I can do to silence it.

I never want to stop getting chills because of the descant to the most beautiful choral piece.

I want to be the writer of the most gorgeous piano piece.

I never want to forget how the melody to my favourite song goes, even if it’s been twenty years since I last heard it.

I never want to forget how the lyrics to those songs made me cry, or laugh, or belt until my voice was gone.

There’s so much more to music than just notes on a sheet of paper.

Music is what keeps me alive.

Music is infinite.