Wipe that powder off your nose
And keep killing those boys
With your poisonous emerald eyes
And those venomous blood red lips

Don’t let your nose bleed again
It might give you away
Rich girls don’t cry, remember?
Here doll take some of my Xanax

Drape yourself in luxury
Go buy yourself some diamonds dear,
Go get mama’s ****** refilled will ya?
Stop that frowning, you’ll get wrinkles!

You better marry that man
He's perfect for you, just look at that ring!
Aw my girl's growing up, her first botox appointment!
Don't worry honey, pretty girls are happy girls.

I dreamt we were heavily medicated in the middle of a lake
A rickety wooden canoe swaying slightly
As the wind sent ripples through that massive lake
The sun had gone down and the stars were our only company
Your eyes were focused, dark and lovely staring into mine
They spoke to me words I promised to never utter again
Then as my soul caught flame in those burning eyes
I saw your lips move but I was fading out….
There was only silence as the horizon disappeared
And the water began to move unnaturally
                                 Crack
Something was happening
But all I could see was those lovely eyes

En el agua clara
veo nuestros suaves reflexiones
y las sombras solas y misteriosas
debajo de glaciales enormes

La luz del sol brillante
se esconde debajo de nubes opacos
me da escalofrios de temor
y desaparecemos silenciosamente en la oscuridad

El frio me atrapa en sus manos
con el viento soplande en mi oido
como un nino diciendome un secreto
y el sol empieza a salir

Ahorra siento esperanza
veo la luz vislumbrante del sol
poco a poco saliendo de las nubes
y me siento libre y feliz

I won’t be alone; I’ll just hold my own hand.
Scared
Anxious
But not alone.
I’ll be there to pat myself on the back and say “I’m proud of you for being strong”

Many won’t know what pain my tomorrow may consist of.  Most won’t care.
Meanwhile my heart is a thousand miles away, seeking pleasure in a new and exciting place.

And so it seems, my heart won’t even remember what day it is tomorrow.

But none of that matters, for I am here.
I will be there to hold my own hand.
I will be there to feel the pain.
I will be there to tell myself to forget.

I, and only I will be there tomorrow.
A room full of strangers may try to soothe me.
But I, only I will be there tomorrow.

Powdered face
Sweaty palms
Unsteady
                 Rise and fall
                                       Of her chest

Heavy heart
Distorted perceptions
A mirror
                  A mind
                                 A murderer

                                                                                    “Fix me”

Stained eyelids
Cheap extensions
Broken promises
                              Caked on
                                                Beauty in a bottle


Face paint smothering
Any trace of life
An angel
                   Befriended by
                                             Society’s monster

Happiness forced down her throat
With just a little bit of water
Cosmic Love beckoned her eardrums
To a sandy beach in Guanaja
But not really
Waves of relaxation
As she swayed back and forth
With the wind she imagined
Blowing through her damaged hair
Lights
Lights
Lights
Her body was a serpent
Slithering like the music in her ears
Soul on fire
Eyes like the earth
She painted chaos
With just her fingertips
Alone in the dark
High as a cathedral ceiling
Wandering home
To thoughts of his lips
Butterflies
And ladybugs and fireflies
Smoke
Escaped cracked lips
Happy when she’s high
Happy when her mind
Wanders home
But for now
Levitating
Without her magician
By her side
Alone
Dazed
But happy
Home in just the blink
Of a dilated eye
The dark was all too familiar
And the calls came farther and farther apart
.
But just like that
She was home again
In the blink of a dilated eye

None of my friends
Know I write
To ease the thoughts
Constantly streaming
Sudden waves
Changing tides
Crashing against my skull
Thoughts and thoughts and thoughts

Nobody knows
That I’m behind bars
Caged in
Peering through the tiny
Cell window
Incarcerated
Within myself
With just my ink
Stained hands
And the music that follows

None of my friends
Know the beat my heart drums
When I feel the words
Seeping from the page
Or from the screen
Etching my mind
Twisting and turning
A maze full of mirrors
Or a bulldozer
Carving a path
Through to my soul
Feeling feelings of feeling
Like no one is judging
Just me and this melody