It’s a person sitting next to me
A shadow lingering close by
Following me around

It’s a soul I know by heart
Every inch, but somehow I still don’t
Know a single thing

It’s a thorn I found, or made
Amongst other people’s roses
I never bothered to touch it

It mocks me sometimes,
When it gets tired of my sadness
When I feel alone in a crowd

It has now become a friend
I’ve learned and grown to like it
I embrace its cold comforting arms

And somehow, this peculiar soul
It has taught me to love
Solitariness, and myself.

You can be more
Or you can be less
But you can never be perfectly whole

I knew it before
But it fails to hurt less
To learn it from the depths of my soul

Please help me
Don’t turn me away
Please tell me
I am welcome to stay

I have no one, no home
I have nothing at all
Shivering in the night
With clothes that are too small

I risked so much
Fleeing from the horror
Everything I left behind
Was for a better life and future

I almost froze to death
Almost drowned in the sea
Made it all the way here
Just for you to demonize me

Am I not an equal?
Am I not human too?
Please take a moment
To imagine yourself in my shoes

I’m silly, that’s impossible
I am barefoot and helpless
Please just help me, stranger
I’ll be forever grateful for your kindness

It’s not funny, you know
It’s not a joke
You laugh at me
Until you choke
I wish you did,
I’d gladly watch
You swallow your words
Like you swallow your Scotch

It’s not something
That you can use
For people to like you
It’s verbal abuse
You’re mocking me
My everything
How would you like it if
I did the same thing?

But I wouldn’t dare
Because I know how it feels
I’ll patiently wait
Life is a rolling wheel
Maybe one day soon
You’ll be treated the same
I’ll be long gone by then
You’re the only one to blame.

I’ll put it down on paper now
While the memory is still fresh in my mind
Here it goes.

It was three pm on a September day
Bright and sunny as life in May
I trudge up the stairs to the library
And spot you there looking over me
We didn’t speak, just exchanged a glance
I might not get another chance
But I’m much too proud, or much too shy
And you don’t care enough to just say ‘hi’
So I sat down alone on a table there
Fished out my books and fixed my hair
You came by later to the printer behind
And I try to pretend that I don’t really mind
But then you said my name, soft but clear
It seemed as if it’s been fifty years
You joked and said that I’ve been ignoring you
We both kind of knew that’s not really true
You smiled and asked how it’s been for me
I say ‘just fine’, and it’s the truth, you see
It’s a surprise to know it’s not a lie
To cover up any pain shown in my eyes
I can’t remember when I started accepting it
Everything developed a little bit by bit
And when you left with a nod and smile
I know we won’t be talking again in a good long while
But it doesn’t hurt as much as it did before
Not even bleeding, just barely sore
And just now, I turned my head to see reality
For the last time to make sure that I am free
And there you stood, laughing with her
It’s what you deserve - your happily ever after
I’m not going to be selfish and drag you down
I’m not going to cry for the joy you’ve found
Healed at last, I still don’t know how
But finally – finally - I’m my own person now.

It’s an hour later; I’m packing my stuff
This is still a moment I’ll see in my dreams,
But I won’t wake up crying anymore.

She’s wind and rain
And fear and pain
She’s twists and spins
She’s the blade of all sins

She’s bone and dust
She’s beauty and lust
She’s ash and fire
The core of men’s desires

She’s the darkest nightmare
And the sweetest dream
She’s all you imagined
But not what she seems

She wins all games
Of death and thrones
She’s queen of flames
She’s skin and bone

And she’s in the shadows
Tearing worlds apart
Then putting them back together
She’s Fireheart.

For him, I wouldn’t write
About his handsome face
Or the fluent way he walks
With that swift unfailing grace
‘Cause those little simple things
He shows to everyone
I’d love to write about all that
Which he has shown to none
Like the way he tilts his head
And frowns into the distant sky
When he either smelled or thought about
Something particularly vile
Or how he sometimes murmurs
When he’s dreaming and asleep
And brings me closer to his chest
When vivid nightmares make me weep
Then there’s also the way he smiles
In that amused way when I get mad
Or how he scowls when he sees
Anyone wearing yellow plaid
And when we’re all alone
He’d sing some ****** songs
In the shower, in the kitchen
Once, wearing crimson thongs
So no, I wouldn’t write
About all those others could see
I would rather write about the things
He shows to only me.