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  6d star
Lyle
I don't burst into tears
I fall into tears
silently
gracefully
like a practiced maneuver
like a missing piece falling back into place
I fall into tears
like they can somehow protect me
star Jun 2
it is true 5.31.25 (10:03 pm / 22:03)
it is true i wished to die,
and perhaps so i wish still,
is this not lawful for all
prisoners?

it is true that my first thought
on a balcony was how far the fall
and not how beautiful the view
is this not lawful for all those trapped?

i am a bird in a cage
the key is sitting just outside

i am the swan with clipped wings
leda of sparta
no longer a girl
but still unable to fly away and escape

it is true,
it is true,
it is true

it is true i wished to fly,
and so i wish still,
is this not lawful for all birds?

[playing: softly by clairo]
inspired by the joan of arc quote "it is true i wished to escape, and so i wish still; is this not lawful for all prisoners?"
star Jun 2
pride month 6.1.25 (5:10 pm / 17:10)
you were right, i guess
even though you don’t know yet

you have always been right about me
you have always known me better than myself
i have always been better in your eyes

i know i should be prouder
i know i should know better

[playing: till forever falls apart by ashe and finneas]
star Jun 2
help me 6.1.25 (5:07 pm / 17:07)
how bad can i possibly feel
how far down can i sink
before finally losing consciousness
how long until i drown in this well of sadness
i dug for myself?

how many times can one person
apologize for themself
how many times can one girl
feel so sorry about who she is?

i don’t even know when i went wrong,
god help me
star Jun 2
maybe we’d be alright 6.1.25 (5:00 pm / 17:00)
oh but maybe,
maybe
maybe
maybe if i hadn’t changed it all
maybe if i’d made some other call
maybe if i hadn’t let you fall

maybe we’d be alright
star Jun 2
you
you 6.1.25 (5:03 pm / 17:03)
i want to know you
the way the sun knows the moon
i want to lend you all my light
and hold you close and keep you forever
until you tire of me and want me to go

i’ll let you because i know that someday it’ll happen

i want to be wanted like this wanted
because you found me and lost me
and held me and let me go and saved me
over and over and over i’d choose you

over and over and over i’d want you
  May 29 star
ash
someone once asked me
if i were to describe how my heart looked
in words and not through science.
it left me wondering for ages,
finding the right words—
i realized metaphors worked,
kinda like being tangled in lines,
woven outta feelings i can't describe.

my heart is perhaps a lonely, lonely setting
in a space—void of any lighting.
there's glitter on it though,
and whenever it gets a signal of the memory,
cursed even if it was,
it glows like a broken lamp
flickering to light on an empty road,
like an old cd player stuck on the same song—
or more like, stuck on the default,
going in a loop.

the member of the family
stuck in a guest room.
the little kid, trying to sleep—
waiting for a lullaby or a nighttime story.

a black hole, absorbing its own self,
it's been far too alone, on its own.
a long, long night, waiting for a sunrise—
something the world despised, but not anymore.

a dead eulogy with rhyming words.
a piece of broken ceramic, held up by mud.
pieces of fabric cinched together
with needles and stitches,
pinned across words that once shattered—
on a corkboard, decorated in a fancy manner.

a building that collapsed once
during a 5.5 magnitude earthquake—
rebuilt, but never been the same since.

the perfect interpretation is hard to find.
my heart is like a glass toy
in the hands of a child,
a burnt forest that symbolizes ashes and rebirth,
an old woman close to taking her last breath,
yet smiling to the world.

a home to those who didn't belong,
race of the misfits, who all won.

it's just an *****,
something i need to pump blood and to survive—
and yet it feels like an ironical mess of words,
philosophical in its own existence.

i love this heart of mine.
add metaphors and lyrics!
random thought, but we gotta be cringe to be alive. feel to be human.
could i be a metaphor?
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