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do you know the weight of it?
clawing your way up
test after test,
year after year,
to be the perfect reflection of the dreams they have for you,
those that are now your own.
where your worth now hangs.

when they see the prize,
they say, 'oh it comes so easily to her'

Easily?

i bled for this.
i screamt for this.
and my mind?
it whispers
'this is just what you're supposed to do'
you are 'gifted'
its your mere responsibility.
nothing to celebrate. nothing special.

isnt it?
when there are two voices in your mind
one scorning your inadequacy,
the other a desperate, fragile echo of perceived success,
constantly vying, and battling to beat the other;
you yourself get lost in the middle.

7th mar, 25

I spiral, and
I burn

'round and
'round

trying to catch
the sun

How I try to
become

someone you'd
know

but I'm not the
one

The days grow
old

the nights come
undone

There's so much
to forget

about the things
I never learned

The knives twist
and turn

the scars weave
and have spun

My tears, old
and young

'round and
'round

I spiral, and
I burn

trying to catch
the sun


If you return,
do not knock,
the door has memorized your hands.

If you leave,
do not turn back,
the wind carries only forward.
I’ll turn you into poetry
Paint your portrait with no clothes
Leave the beauty that’s in front of me
Completely bare; exposed
I’ll sketch your upper torso
Make a sculptured figurine
Because you are my tomorrow
My princess and my queen
Maybe love is found in the in-between,  
Between the violent hold to keep it  
And the willingness to let go.  
Or will this sweet orange  
Rot under a tree,  
Long before we even reach spring?
I write really long poems. So here is something more bite sized from my last write. If you like it maybe check out the whole poem. :)
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