Not everything sacred needs to be born of suffering.

Not every acknowledgement needs to come from rock bottom.

My love,
you are allowed to feel peace.
You are allowed to live a joyful life.
You are allowed to experience softness and call it sacred.

So stop using your pain as proof of your depth.
It’s time to retire that narrative,
that your pain is the most interesting thing about you—it’s not!
There are hundreds of beautiful reasons for your existence,
but suffering isn’t one of them.

You can explain every scar.
But when it comes to healing?
You stall.
Because healing isn’t poetic.
It’s messy, boring, frustrating.

Peace makes you suspicious.
If things go too well for too long,
your brain starts poking at old wounds or inventing new ones.
You miss the chaos even though you claim to want peace.

But here’s what you need to know;
you’re still becoming.
You’re still growing.
You can still be profound without bleeding for it.

So allow yourself to heal,
and let joy into your life,
because the best version of you isn’t your pain,
it’s your rebirth.

Don't punish your body for carrying the weight of your soul.
You are meant to be alive.

I wish I lacked empathy.
I don’t want to feel.
I don’t want to see signs.
I don’t want to be real.

One minute, I’m fine—
then my soul explodes in my chest.
I wish I didn’t see that.
But I did. And now, no rest.

I wish I could shrug,
say “that’s not my concern,”
but every flicker of pain
Causes my stomach to hurt.

I notice the silence,
the shift in your tone—
there's nothing in your voice
It's all I think about alone.

This is why I'm standoffish and stick to just me
There's no ache in loneliness
At least not the kind that stings

Maybe I'll make friends but that feels like betrayal
These self imposed rules- a safe fortress failure

I wish I didn’t feel
At least not to this extent
My day was going so good
But I ruined it again

what is my promised pain?
from conception
to my first deception
i wondered what my promised pain was

is it as sweet and seductive
as a lovers first touch?
or is it as ****** and dull
as entangled flesh in a bush full of thorny rose crowns?
will my pain be promised from myself,
or someone else who takes my ground?

will our promised pain tell us who we are?
"mirror mirror on the wall, show me, define me"
we all yelled until our breath gave out,
our voices piercing the infinite heaven,
wishing for the mirror on the wall to show us as
the perfect chain
but the only thing that shows us who we are,
is the reality of pain,
our promised pain?

how will i know when i feel my promised pain?
emotional, physical, will i even know it hit me?
will i be on the ground, bawling, unable to be in touch with what is pain?
will i bleed, contort, and bruise?
how do i know when the promised pain that was gifted from me from conception,
will turn it's age old gears unto me?

who promised us this pain?
this pain, whether we deserve or don't
this pain, without a messiah in cloth to save us from
this pain, this pain, this promised pain
this pain, we can't describe
this pain, we were all bound to from birth
this pain, that only your touch may heal
but then again, our promised pain
is god or the devil's deal.

this pain, this vowed pain,
the pain of a demon's pitchfork,
an angel's sword of justice,
this promised pain, this pain of no mercy,
does it last forever, or just a second?
does it return, or leave forever?
what is this promised pain,
we were gifted with from birth?

my memory of your promised pain,
a pain i could not feel,
a pain as slow as the minutes ticking away on the clock,
for i've been watching your for a while,
since you walked into my life,
a monday morning, able to heal a pain.

a monday morning, filled with pain,
a stab of happiness,
a cut of despair,
i was much too shy,
to let my feelings show,
but you let them free,
and that was the beginning of possible promised pain.

at last, we can talk,
maybe in another way,
and at last, i love you,
it became too hard to say,
due to our promised pain,
if only i could say the words i feel.

tell me if you've had promised pain,
tell me what your feelings are,
tell me if you love me not
i have so much, i need to ask you,
but now that chance has gone, flee in the run of a rabbit,
when you reach your fading *****,
in my heart,
those promised memories stay,
glowing pride, your only smiling
through that promised pain.