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Krusty Aranda Jun 2013
I lay on my hospital bed,
waiting for the anesthesia to kick in.
Feeling dizzy. Turning sleepy.
There's no one there to hold my hand.

The nurses looking at me,
waiting to start the procedure.
Looking tired. Pacing quiet.
My body starts to go numb.

I will soon be out of this world,
at least for a few hours.
Running free. Feel no pain.
My eyes start to lose reality.

I wish I could stay numb
until I have to sleep forever.
Have no fear. Living strong.
So please, Mr. surgeon, leave the anesthesia on.
I sometimes wish I could stay numb. I'll enjoy the anesthesia as long as I can. See you when I come back.
Krusty Aranda Nov 2014
A bench. A lonely bench I found in the park, isolated from the rest of the scenery. Shy, hidden from the rest of the world. Out of sight.
Perfect.
   It is wet from the heavy rain pouring down on us both, and, still, I sit on it. I take out of my pocket a little poetry book. It's pages barely staying together. I open it right on my favorite poem. I read it over and over again, even though I already know it by memory.
   I read and read, staying always fixated on the same page, on the same poem, always on the same bench under a never ending, heavy rain.


   A playful dog found its way into my hideout. It has no collar, no leash, no bonds to anyone or anything. It sniffs my hand. It looks up at me. It barks. It leaves.
   He didn't find anything worthy of its attention. Just an old man sitting on a bench, with some wet paper in his hand, blank and unreadable. Lifeless.

   Everything lifeless.
Krusty Aranda Aug 2013
Words so beautiful
can only come
from a beautiful mind.
Krusty Aranda Jun 2012
**** me, I beg. Take away my last breath.
Be quick. Shed no tears. Give me a painless death.
I got nothing to do, I got nothing to give.
This is just a lie I don't want to live.

Shoot me. I'm dead. Feel my pulse as it fades out.
Bury me far away so no one knows my whereabouts.
Don't turn the hourglass, as it won't make a difference,
and if you cry for me, please, do it in silence.

Send me to the place I'm longing to reach.
Life is just ******* on me like a leech.
Please, make true my only desire.
I don't want to burn in this pagan fire.

The light I once sought was nowhere to be found.
The darkness, instead, was all around.
My spirit was crushed. My will grew weaker.
I couldn't see the light... not even a flicker.

So **** me, I beg. Take this life from me,
but don't dispose of it. Keep it with thee.
The symphony of the mermaids was meant to be heard,
and so is my story. Tell it to the world.
Not really sure what this is about. I started it months ago, and just finished it so it might not make much sense really.
Krusty Aranda Apr 2013
Some people say angels walk among us.
I never thought it would be true,
until just a couple minutes
I saw her. I have found proof.

She was sitting in the train.
She waited to arrive to her destination.
As I admired her beauty, I prayed for her destination to be mine, but it was all in vain.

She stood up, and headed for the door.
I cried inside. This must be wrong.
The most beautiful angel had appeared before me,
and I let her go.

I couldn't ask her name.
I couldn't get her number.
I couldn't have a chance,  but I got something better.
I have proof.
Saw the most beautiful girl today, and inspired me to write this.
Krusty Aranda Jun 2021
Fear is

useless

and

temporary
Krusty Aranda Jun 2021
Don't

kiss a girl

and like it
Krusty Aranda Jun 2021
And yet

a trace of the true self

exists

in the false self
Krusty Aranda Jun 2021
If the mind

understands

too much about reality,

it wants

to destroy itself
Krusty Aranda Jun 2021
It's a coreographed routine

of desperation,

trying to tire out

the thoughts stuck in your head
Krusty Aranda Mar 2016
There's only so many ways to describe the way you love that special someone, and, baby, I've used them all.
I've talked about the butterflies in the stomach.
I've talked about time standing still.
I've used all the analogies in the book to describe your beauty.
Your hipnotizing eyes.
Your bright smile.
Your delicate skin.
It's all been done.
All the clichés have been applied to you, time and time again.
I can't write you a poem because it ends up being the same exact words arranged differently.
And I'm desperate.
I'm desperate to reinvent myself, and come up with something fresh and new.
Something romantic that hasn't been done before.
Not the roses.
Not the poems and songs.
Not the stroll through the park.
Something to finally express all these I'm feeling in me I can't seem to let out.
I want you to realize how you affect every single aspect of my life.
I want you to feel about me how I feel about you.
But again I expect too much out of this.
Out of something so uncertain.
Maybe I should stop.
Or should I?
I don't know, and I'm not sure if I ever will.
You seemed to like me once.
Could it happen again?
Or did you realize that I'm not good enough for you?
You wouldn't be the first.
See now how this started with one thing, and mutated into another?
But it's still all about you.
It's always about you.
Krusty Aranda Mar 2013
Reality** *is
what happens between
when I go to bed
and
when I wake up.
Lost contact with reality. Did I ever contact it?
Krusty Aranda Sep 2013
Red, the color of your lips.
Black, the color of your smile.
Red, the passion that you share.
Black, the whole within your heart.

Red are roses in the fields.
Black the clouds that give them life.
Red's the blood within your veins.
Black's the meaning of your life.

Red's the love that people share.
Black the dresses when they die.
Red. The devil lies in hell.
Black. In space there is no life.

Red the reason you're alive.
Black see people who are blind.
Red makes bulls go wild.
Black makes metalheads go wild.

Red your blood stains on the floor.
Black your future after life.
Red, the color of your lips.
Black, the color of your faded smile.
Krusty Aranda Nov 2013
Bed sheets impregnated with her essence.
Towels dripping the sweetness of her skin.
Wild thoughts invading my subtle thinking.
Her scent still lingering in my senses and my soul.

A fleeting heartbeat was skipped the moment our eyes met.
All reality vanished as distance disappeared.
Poetry struck me as I chose my words carefully.
A smile was virtously drawn on her face when I held her hand.

The world conspired for us to meet then.
Not before. Not after.
Just at the right moment.
We pushed fate away as it pulled us back to its path.
We lost ourselves in each other in just the blink of an eye.

A voice so heavenly angels should be jealous.
A mind so priviledged she understands me whole.
Her eyes so pure and lively even diamonds are just stones.
Her sweet embrace so warm she could reignite the sun.

Love has been reinvented, and now it wears her name.
Beautiful turns ugly whenever she's around.
If perfection's bound to gods, then she must be a goddess,
and I'd worship only her for her blessings are all mine.
Krusty Aranda Aug 2016
If I had known that would be our last kiss,
I wouldn't have let go so quickly
Krusty Aranda Aug 2013
Thinking back I realize
the big mistake I made
lending you my heart and soul
for more than just one day.

You were so gentle
when we started out,
but quickly turned sour
towards such a bitter thing.

The pain from the fights.
The rough words you said.
Now I can say I don't miss
those rotten old days

Your words pierced my flesh.
Your screams bled my heart.
But I don't need your love.
I'm learning strength, alone.

So don't come crying
back to the love we once shared.
You just won't find it.
It is not even there.
Colabortaion with KM. It was fun working with her. Go check out her work :)
Krusty Aranda Sep 2013
I bought a rose for every night not spent with you.
Now I'm drowning in petals and thorns.
Sad
Krusty Aranda Jan 2023
Sad
This is my depression
wake up and try to fall asleep again
see how long I can make it before I get out of bed

                                      This is my depression
                                      skip all meals
                                      then snack a bit
                                      try to appease the rumbling of my      
                                      stomach
                                      and back to sleep

This is never ending
have a million thoughts come all at once
keep myself indoors trying to feel the beating of my heart

                                                          ­  There is no depression
                                                      ­      go about my day as if        
                                                            I'm fine
                                                   ­         mask away the sadness let
                                                            nobo­dy know it's all a lie
Krusty Aranda Mar 2013
As I drink a warm cup of coffee on a cold day I sit back and think about us.
How I used to wait for you to get back home so we could spend a couple hours together, chatting our worries away, before I had to leave until the next day.
How we managed to make Skype seem naughty.
How we longed to be finally together someday.

It was never easy living an ocean away, but we sure tried our best to make it work... and it did.
We found love in the strangest place, and we couldn't be happier.
You made me smile. I made you smile. It couldn't get any better than that.
But all good things must come to an end someday.

Nothing lasts forever, no matter how much we promised each other it would.
Things change.
Mistakes are made.
Hearts are broken.
Tears are shed.
In the end it's all a part of life we all dread, but must face sooner or later.

As I gaze at the fire, consuming the wood in a divine dance of death, I realize that it was all for the best.
I wasn't the one you loved in the beginning anymore.
I hurt you so many times it was only right to end it all.

I apologize for all the pain I caused you, and wish you the best in this future without me.
You'll do better this way.

For me, I'll just be happy as long as you are.
I learned to be another me, the best me I can possibly be, and it's all thanks to you.
Now it's time to make my life away from you, even though I'll miss you.
I now know things had to be this way, but I wish we hadn't said goodbye before we met.
The time has come to move on, but it was a good run :) I will sure always remember all the time with her.
Sal
Krusty Aranda Apr 2018
Sal
Si la lluvia cae desde las negras nubes hasta el verde césped, creando un nexo entre el cielo y la tierra, amantes distantes y enemigos cercanos destinados a compartir una misma existencia, ¿por qué no podemos tú y yo?

Las palabras que no he dicho se agolpan en mi pecho y me abultan la garganta, pero no las libero, trago saliva y las envío a la ***** de mis dedos, desde donde explotan en el papel y dejan un rastro de sangre, a veces negra, a veces azul. Una escena de un crimen con un único sospechoso: mi corazón, el cual llevo siempre caminando a mi lado y detrás mío, ignorando sus avisos hasta que se detiene, se ancla en un lugar e irrumpe en mis pensamientos nublando mi juicio, alterando mi razón, destruyendo mi consciencia.
Grito en silencio mientras te veo reír. El estruendo de tu alegría enmascara mi desdicha, y casi lo prefiero así.
Eres el secreto que no logro mantener. El cristal oscuro detrás del cual me escondo sin darme cuenta de la transparencia de mis miradas, de mis risas, de mis manos. Eres el perfume de mis sábanas, la colilla de cigarro aún encendida que inicia el incendio involuntario que consume mi interior. Eres vida y eres muerte, y el suicidio que cometo a diario voluntaria y egoístamente. El arma homicida yace en tus labios, en tus brazos, en tu piel y en el pecaminoso pensar del cual soy víctima.

¿Cómo es entonces que te debo olvidar? Las espinas no sueltan mi espíritu decaído. Las llagas en mi piel no sanan si les echas de nuevo sal, pero sálame la vida, pues tu fiel seguidor soy.
Krusty Aranda Apr 2022
I was half happy as the day began

By now, guess which half took over the other
Krusty Aranda Oct 2013
The voices in my head tell me
I'm not crazy.
Krusty Aranda Jan 2015
I'm sitting next to her,
but I don't dare say a word.
She's busy doing homework,
scribbling many notes.

My eyes are fixed on her.
My thoughts are running wild.
I wish that she would notice me,
or talk to me, or just smile.

I'm sitting right next to her,
and I'm just way too shy.
If I could get over my awkwardness,
that girl would surely be mine.
Krusty Aranda Jul 2015
All day long I'm searching for you.
I call out your name, but you won't come through.
You run, and you hide. You stay out of sight
while others do come, but none do feel right.

I cannot forget the tone of your skin,
always a fragile looking, lighter shade of pink.
And how could I not love those shiny, green eyes?
They could send me flying right into the skies.

I'm playing your game, but I can't seem to win.
I search through seas of blue and fields of green.
Oh, why won't you come? Stop playing hide and seek!
Can't you see this search for you's making me weak?

Hundreds and hundreds like you I will meet,
but it is only you who has that special thing.
It is you who I want, so this search will not cease
until I find you, and, also, my peace.
Krusty Aranda Jun 2015
Twenty four hours a day.
Seven days a week.
I miss you when you're not in bed.
I miss you when we speak.

But when I get to see you
my frown turns upside down.
Your luscious lips. Your beady eyes.
Your naked back, and **** thighs.

I must admit my weakness.
For me you are too much.
You make me feel so warm inside
without even your touch.

I love the way you look at me
when we're alone in my room.
It is the way you steal my breath
that will lead to my doom.

You watch me. You tease me.
You encourage lustful behaviour.
You're quiet, yet screaming;
the cards turn in your favour.

You got me. I'm yours.
Even if you don't know it.
This secret I will keep,
for I'm starting to love it.
Krusty Aranda Aug 2016
I hope that I can see you today
Even if just a glimpse
I want to see your eyes again
I want to see your lips

I hope that I can see you today
I hope that we can talk
Even if only to say hi
I want to hear your voice

I hope that I can see you today
I hope you can see me
I can't forget the words you said
You alter my heartbeat

I hope that I can see you today
And the next day and the next
I want to see you out of my dreams
I want to see you today
Krusty Aranda May 2016
How can I learn to love someone, and not how to love myself?
I'm insanely in love with her.
With her eyes.
With her smile.
With her laugh, her voice, her skin, her hair, her soul.
So why can't I love myself?
Love myself enough to not put myself through the pain my love being unrequited.
Love myself enough to accept that she won't love me.
Love myself enough to stop fooling myself into believing I can make her fall for me.
Love myself enough to give myself some time alone. Trully alone.
How can my heart belong to everyone but myself?
Why do I give myself away for the wrong people?
These questions I've asked myself for years, and still I haven't found the answer to any of them.
She's so important to me, and I know she cares, but not as much as I care for her.
I know it, or at least my mind does.
My heart refuses to understand.
My heart won't let reason take over for as much as a second.
I love her so much.
I'd give it all for her.
So why can't I do the same for myself?
Why can I love her, but not myself?
Krusty Aranda May 2015
This letter I write to myself.*

Accept it. It's over, and it's never happening again. Did you really expect it to work out? Did you really think lives change for the better that fast? Did you really think you wouldn't **** up?

You always expect too much from people. You believe in the kind nature of humanity not realizing it only exists in a select few. You have to stop being so naive.

You knew she was too good to be true. Sometimes it's wise to listen to reason instead of the heart. The heart is a selfish entity that tends to take us down uncertain paths that, mostly, end in pain.

Well, now it's time to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and move on to the next path. It'll all be better before we know it.
Seven Letters: The End
Krusty Aranda Nov 2015
For seven years I've waited for an answer.
For seven years I've wanted to know.
Do you still like me, or did I lose my chance there?
Will you stay with me, or will you go?
Krusty Aranda Apr 2014
She didn't have your eyes,
                                   yet she reminded me of you.
She didn't have your hair,
                                   yet she reminded me of you.
She didn't have your name,
                                   yet she reminded me of you.
She was nothing like you,
                           but I can't stop thinking of you.
Krusty Aranda Jul 2013
She sang the most beautiful melodies,
just not for me.
Krusty Aranda Nov 2015
And I ******* choked!

The words were dead before they even left my lips.
Their meaning lost in translation.
Empty noise reverberates in my skull as my thoughts mosh around, breaking against my sanity.
I can't scream, even though that's all I want to do.
My throat is dry, closed up.
Her eyes gaze at me as they desperately search for a sound...
a sound I can't produce.

I can't move.

I can't think.


What has she done to me?

Her poison is now running through my veins, and spreading fast.

The wicked *****!

I can feel myself dying.



Knees weaken.



Hands get cold.



Heart rate dropping.




Last thing I see is her evil grin as I fall to the ground
taking my last breath.

She was my end.
Krusty Aranda Dec 2015
I'm sick of this life.










It just doesn't change.
Krusty Aranda Sep 2015
Lay awake
Think of you
Close my eyes
See me too?
Hold your hand
Smile at me
Open heart
Do you see?
Silent kiss
Never comes
Still I wait
Hope not gone
Freezing wind
Warmth of home
In your arms
Not alone
Sit with me
Hear my song
Read my tale
Draw our love
One more time
Try again
On my lips
Yours remain
Krusty Aranda Aug 2016
Y he perdido las ganas...
Ya no quiero hacer aquello que antes disfrutaba.
Ya nada me causa la alegría que antes causaba.
Ni la música me consuela.
Ni los libros me distraen.
Ni los juegos me transportan a un lugar sin dolor.
Las palabras que te escribo ya no van a tu pantalla.
Las canciones que te dedico nunca llegan a tus oídos.
Mis caricias y mis besos me los trago con amargura, pues no quieres recibirlos.
Y así me quedo yo sin ganas.
Sin ganas de ver la luz de un nuevo día.
Sin ganas de afrontar las horas en las que estoy despierto.
Sin ganas de moverme, respirar, reír, llorar.
Sin ganas de beber para olvidar tu nombre, aunque sea por un segundo.
Sin ganas de morir para no verte nunca más.
Sin ganas de vivir una vida alejado de ti.
Sin ganas de llorar para vaciar el corazón.
Sin ganas de buscarte para que me rechaces de nuevo.
Krusty Aranda Feb 2013
So white,
so pure,
so cold,
falling in my heart.
It snowed today, and I was marveled by the beauty and the cold coexisting in an imperfect harmony.
Krusty Aranda Apr 2014
Smiling and laughing
they conceal their knives 'till they
stab you in the back.
You never know.
Krusty Aranda Apr 2016
"Sólo me quiero morir."

Me dijo esto con voz quebrada mientras rompía en llanto.
Era joven. Se le veía desaliñada y su rostro mostraba la dureza de la vida que ha llevado.
Su piel bronceada sudaba bajo el abrasador sol del medio día y su cuerpo temblaba presa del pánico que lentamente se desvanecía.
El señor con quien peleaba, un señor de edad avanzada quien amenazaba con golpearla, se había refugiado en su casa al ver que me acercaba e interrumpía su disputa.
No se qué sucedía.
No se por qué peleaban.
No se quiénes eran.
Se que él quería dañarla y que yo no lo permitiría.

Le pregunté qué sucedía, si estaba bien.
"Solo me quiero morir."
"No te quieres morir." le contesté, sin saber realmente que decir.
Le expliqué que tenía cosas que hacer en ese momento, y me ofrecí a acompañarla hasta donde yo iba.
Ella amablemente declinó la oferta, alegando que no tenía dinero para unos medicamentos que necesitaba.
Me disculpé por no poderle ayudar más, dado que yo tampoco contaba con mucho dinero.
Ella me tomó de la mano, aún con lagrimas en los ojos y la voz quebradiza y me dijo **"Ya me has ayudado más de lo que tú crees."

Tras decir esto se dio la vuelta y se fue en la dirección opuesta a la mía.

Aún no se quién era ni qué fue lo que sucedió, pero se que, quién quiera que fuera, ese día comencé a ver la vida desde una nueva perspectiva.
Krusty Aranda Mar 2015
Sometimes,
to keep going forward,
you first have to take
one step backwards.
Krusty Aranda Aug 2016
Because
sometimes
loving
is
knowing
to
stay
                                                                ­                                                     *away
Krusty Aranda Jun 2013
Baby, you and I are like sound waves
coming from opposite directions.
We modulate at the same frequency.
We both are building up our whole spectrum.
But, baby, when we meet...
When we meet we nullify a part of each other.
No matter how much we try,
if we don't change a bit of ourselves
we will never know the beautiful melodies we can create
together.
Product of exam week as an aspiring sound technician. It's all I can think of right now.
Soy
Krusty Aranda Feb 2018
Soy
A veces no sé quién soy
¿Qué quiero?
¿Qué digo?
¿Qué pienso? ¿Qué hago?
Soy un cúmulo de malas decisiones,
de impulsividad y sobrepensamiento
en los momentos equivocados
Empeño mi corazón a quien no debo y se lo arrebato a quien lo compra
Soy el egoísmo de la tierna infancia,
la necedad del adolescente en plena pubertad.
Soy la risa del demente,
el silencio del estruendo,
soy la incoherencia en persona y he venido a restarle sentido a este mundo obsesionado con la falsa verdad
Soy la definición de lo indefinible
Soy la abstracción de lo concreto
Soy todo, absolutamente todo,
excepto una cosa.
No soy yo
Krusty Aranda Dec 2012
SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, baked beans, SPAM, SPAM and SPAM.
A small tribute to my favorite comic group, Monty Python.
Nonsense? No. Pythonesque.
Krusty Aranda Mar 2014
As the train comes
I feel that I'm being pushed.
Krusty Aranda May 2013
If you go,
this world
just wouldn't be
the same.
Hope this makes you realize how much you mean to some people (you know who you are).
Krusty Aranda Dec 2013
It's been a long time since we went our separate ways.
A thousand nights I've gone to bed without being able to shake you off my thoughts.
My sleep is invaded with dreams of you... of us.
I can't seem to forget how to love you.

Of course I've moved on (or so I like to believe),
but every time I see your face through a photograph a feeling that something's lost runs through my whole body.
In my mind I think I'm fine.
In my heart I know I'm incomplete.
I'm missing something, and I believe you might know what.

We swore we'd speak to each other regularly.
We swore we'd always be friends.
Yet here I am, writing this letter, lonely as I am, hoping that you'd read this someday.

I know we've grown apart, but I really wish to go back.
I wish I had never left, so I could now be still by your side.
My heart knew my brain was wrong.
I shouldn't have gone, but I can't change what's already done.

All I can say now is that I miss you.
That I wish you would read this, and talk to me once more.
To hear your melodious voice would heal all my wounds still open.
A look from your eyes would purify my sinful spirit.
And a beat of your heart would take me to heaven to rest forever in love.
Krusty Aranda Jun 2012
I'm walking the streets going from bar to bar.
There's just no way to hide this scar.
This scar is nothing you can see at all;
it lies deep within my soul.

This wound was not made by any weapon,
and it grew bigger in every place I stood on.
To cut the **** I'll tell you the truth.
The people; they killed my dreams and my mood.

They said I was worthless. They said I was weak.
They said I couldn't do a miserable trick.
Their words hurt my spirit. Their words hurt my heart.
They were just about to bring me apart.

They were still attacking, but I wouldn't care.
I had wasted my time; it just wasn't fair.
I found a way to avoid all their bullets:
To live my own life. Don't care for their comments.

So I walk the streets going from bar to bar,
and I'm not even ashamed of this scar.
It is a memoir of a battle long won;
it tells me that life is still going on.
Not necessarily about me (although everyone could relate), but for a special someone who's going through a hard time.
Krusty Aranda Mar 2015
I want to be alone
with my
thoughts.
Krusty Aranda Aug 2015
An empty kiss.
Your vacant eyes.
All of your lies.
I can't stand this.

I run away,
yet you will follow.
I feel so hollow
only everyday.

Get out! Leave!
I cry for mercy,
but you cannot see.
I can't conceive.

What do you want?
I gave you plenty,
now I'm so empty.
No more! You shan't!

Fine! Take it.
Here you have my sanity.
All for your **** vanity
while I rest in a pit.
Krusty Aranda Apr 2022
She could find the beauty in me
before even I could

But she left so suddenly she took the secret with her
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