It's there and I can feel it
I want to reach it but I can't.
I hear it in my speech, I see it in my dreams,
I smell it in the air and I feel it in my veins.
I see it in the eyes of creatures,
I feel it from still and tidal waters,
I even inhale it from all the green that surround us.
I feel it through words that are spoken
And I see it within those that are written,
I hear its melodies, sweet sounds of a silent night
Serenading in a foreign dialect.
It makes me feel whole though it chills me right to the bone
My heart wants to but my mind doesn't,
My mind wants to understand but my heart is too afraid to comprehend
I know what it is yet I can't tell what it is.
Still trying to reach out to it but I seem not to reach it
Part of me wants it while the other doesn't
The me within me wants it
But the me outside of me repels it.

Is the inevitable, really inevitable?
Can life be so decisive and again indecisive?
Happiness so compelling, yet soaked in misery?
Big smiles for show, only hiding deceitful and broken hearts.

In a world of Good versus Evil.
Where everything seems so precise, but then… not everything in black and white
So I do ask. Good versus Evil? Or in the mist of all things it’s just all the same.
Both full of purpose reaping fruits of all desires, which all has the same ending.
With the mind full of absolute certainty, mixed with profound confusion.
Where our paths are unknown and yet concluded.

In a life where it’s the ones you love the most that hurt you, everything so contradicting.
Nothings secure, no one’s ever safe and you never let your guard down.
Surviving… is fighting till your death

Mbali Dlamini