There's nothing left
so what is there to lose?
Guess I'm the left
opposing your right.
Every fight alters the light
that used to shine bright.
There's nothing like
a forbidden love,
a sordid spoiled fruit
you keep throwing up
until I've given up.
Your lies cut through my neck
and the effects
have caused another train wreck.
You make love
seem like a war that never ends
that no one wins
inside my head
you never get it,
it's pathetic.
You make love
feel like a drug
you only found
dug in the mud
and you just gave it up.
There's nothing like
a mind you redefine
to fit in between your lines,
a mind that uses time
consumed with parasites.

i wish i told you
(that it's not your fault, it never was your fault in all the ways you told yourself to stay i know you thought about my happiness every single time)

i wish i knew better
(than to do what i did, than to take it out on you as if it wasn't my problem but yours, as if i was the victim and i did nothing wrong)

i wish i never held you back
(never tried to keep you to myself, but i realized too late when you left that i wasn't loving you the way i was supposed to, that i became the kind of lover i told myself i wouldn't become)

There's nothing quite like
Your first family dog
You bring him home as a puppy
And he is rambunctious and playful
He tugs at your ponytail and nips at your ankles
Always seems to find trouble
And then he gets older, he still likes to chase squirrels
Thinks he's the biggest baddest dog in town
He will always protect your family from the evil mastermind ( also known as the mailman)
Will always provide love and comfort
And is forever happy to see you
Especially if you have doggy ice cream or a banana ( but really he's not picky he'll eat anything other than lettuce)
There's nothing quite like
How a dog becomes family
From the moment you bring him home
He is filled with love and you are filled with love for him
You begin to make memories and then
Eventually it's hard to recall
Memories made without him
Through the good and the bad he was always by your side
There's nothing quite like
The heartbreak that happens
When your dog dies
When you lose a part of your family
Just thinking about the next time you go home
He won't be there to greet you with a wagging tail
There's nothing quite like dogs.

all i've wanted is to sleep

to tip over and land
soak in distilled whiskey
like arthropods preserved
in amber, except me
lost in an extended
trance, dissolving
into resins, ointments
oils--

i don't want to feel trapped
i fear me leaving more
than anything else,
me leaving to beat
the traffic, catch the
train, board the bus
to Abilene
a roundtrip
god I'm
tired of tryin'
so
hard.

My mind pours out in misty blue.
A mental state unheard to you.

My lips, my tongue, they fight about.
While words are screaming, "Let me out!"

They fight and argue all the time
This bout between my lips, tongue, and mind.

Bounded by a mental state.
My words are destined to know their fate.

As gullible as my mind, tongue, and lips felt.
They got down on their knees and knelt.

With exclamation my words screamed and shout..
"I just wanted you to let me out!!!"

it’s so frustrating because i know you wanted to be with me, on those days you drove almost an hour each way to see me and you kissed me so often and held me so tight and always pulled me closer and i could feel your eyes on me when i wasn’t looking, and we spent day after day like this, just being together and pretending that time could stand still, but at the same time, i feel like it was all just something for you to do while you were home, even though you deny it. i remember starting to tear up one afternoon with my head on your chest while you slept, because i knew it was just a matter of time till this was just a memory. i can’t picture you actually missing me, i can’t imagine you actually wishing i hadn’t said i was done with grey and in between. i feel like i’m so insignificant to you. like you have no feelings, like you couldn’t care less, this is just life, people come and go. and i know that, i know this is just life, and that people come and go, but it hurts that it’d never cross your mind to ask me to stay, that i was fun while i lasted, that you never wanted to make me yours. i’ll fade soon. i want to matter more to you. you’re a thinker, i’m a feeler, you hate that i’m so black and white. but i’m selfish and i want 3am texts that you can’t stop thinking about me and that you need to see me again soon. but that’s not who you are. and it’s unfair of me to want you to feel that way when you don’t. and it’s really okay, because if i extended my hand to you and you took it, i don’t think we would’ve gotten very far anyway. i loved being so close to you, but i’m excited to hold someone’s hand who doesn’t want to let go, to kiss someone who wants to kiss me forever, to not be anticipating an inevitable end, to be able to trust someone fully with my heart, to have someone that wants to hold it. and i don’t need that, i don’t need someone, i don’t need anyone. but if one day it’s what’s meant to be, i’ll let it be. i don’t want to be careless with my heart again. i don’t know why things happen the way they do, and i don’t regret you for a second, and i still think the world of you, but i’m too emotional and i fall too deep to give that much of myself again to someone who never asked for any of it in the first place.