April 30, 1990*

Every morning when I rise
Wipe the tears from tired eyes
Look myself in the mirror and I
say I'll survive

I'll survive. I'll survive.
Through the tears that cloud my eyes
I'll survive

I tell myself that it's okay
Doesn't matter that she went away
I'll be whole again someday
I'll survive

As the moon and sun shine on
When the other one is gone
So will I, I'll carry on and
I'll survive

Old broken threads leave dangling words
and promises now sound absurd
the only truthful thing I've heard is
I'll survive

At night my sorrows burn and fray
I lie awake in slow decay
clench my fists and softly say

I'll survive. I'll survive
Though the tears may cloud my eyes
I'll survive

There are songs I use to sing
that I can't remember
I want it to be fall
but it's into late November
and the momentary stall
is nose diving with the weather
there'll be no morning dew
nor afternoons of heather
and the ev'ning just fell through
with the promise of forever

So let me glide
let me slide
all that you gave to me
I want it back again

So let me glide;
take it in my stride
all that you gave to me
I want it back again

Ah don't you see
what you did to me?
I loved you in my time
fresh and clean as a baby

He is not yet gone
he lies sleeping
but I have planned
his death
for 2:30 pm

And I can not express my love
for him and have it understood
unless you have been through the same

Euthanasia is such a strange word for it
but at least it is light
at a time when one feels
so heavy

I accept the word for now
It draws less tears from these sore eyes
and makes the task easier
if that is possible
It is very  hard to ****
someone you love
It does not help to know
that is is for his own good
when it is not for my own good
But I have planned his death
for 2:30 pm

When he looks up at me
with those half blind eyes
I can't stop my tears
from soaking his fur
and I don't try
He deserves that much and more

A doctor will be present and
a good friend of mine will bury him
shortly after.

Jan3192*

How do you measure a friendship?
How do you measure pain?
For both can leave you feeling
you will never be the same

For I have loved you and you have left me
And I will never love that way again

How can I realize what I have
long before it is gone?
How can I handle the loss
when all is said and done?

For I have loved you and you have left me
And I will never love that way again

How can I cling to and hold on tight to
anything my friend
when everything there is
leaves you in the end?

But still I love you with a love true
That won't change though all the ages do

And I won't forget you
for you have touched me
like my heart's been touched by
so precious a few

For I have loved you and you have left me
but you're still with me in a strange way, it's true

No I won't forget you
for you have touched me
Though you won't touch me
ever again

His hand isn't closed
But he won't let go
Of the memory of her eyes
And the softness of her soul

And he calls her in his dreams
But even when she shows
She stands just out of reach
In the arms of one he knows

And he fears she is insane
And he fears she owns his heart
And he plays her silly games
And his disappointing part

His heart isn't closed
But there's no one left at home
That he can have and hold
And the nights are dark and cold

And when she calls he runs
'til she shouts at him to crawl
But his love he can't control
And he heeds her beck'n'call

And he fears she is insane
And he fears she owns his heart
And he plays her silly games
And his disappointing part

His eyes are tightly closed
But her picture never goes
It haunts him when he wakes
And in every breath he takes

And he hears her gentle voice
In the sigh of every wind
And he forgives her in his heart
For the awful things she did

And he fears she is insane
And he fears she owns his heart
And he plays her silly games
And his disappointing part

Thursday, August 27, 2009*

Her love sat in the corner. Her dreams sat in her head
Where other people lived a life; she dreamed a life instead
Her fear sometimes went racing, when no one was around
With no one else to see her tears splashing on the ground

And in truth she was an angel who put all others first
But for reasons deep inside and not written on her shirt
And shallow are the many that don’t look into her eyes
To see the pain or joy of life that she solely has survived

While patience knits a sweater for someone else’s kid
And the colours that she stitches in are all the dreams she hid
Oh, it’s quite a pretty rainbow but only from one side
Ah but no one crosses over to where her spirit cries

So run my little darling, though the sunlight of the day
Before the evening shadows and the sun has gone away
Gaze into the sunset of each and every day
And love the every moment that you’re allowed to play

Don’t leave your love in the corner or your dreams in your head
Where other people live a dream; live a life instead
Don’t let you fear go racing, when no one is around
And don’t be afraid to let your tears run splashing on the ground

James H. Webb