there is a field
at the very, very end
i will meet you there
heart still, eyes facing
the wild, wide sky
there will be
a feast waiting
a table set
and there will be
enough for everyone

i have seen the shadows move
i have held hands with
the monster hiding under my bed
i cannot tell you its name,
only that it whispers in my ear
seconds before i sleep

i have heard the moon sigh
i have let its crescent mouth
laugh at my tears as i watch
silver clouds stream lazily
and a sole distant yellow star
blinks once, twice before it leaves

i have touched the velvet hide of the night
it is true, the world sits on the back
of a quick black cat and she runs
across time, never quite catching
the mouse she’s been chasing
for a while or forever

let the dark engulf
the past life i had?
i was thirteen when i saw
my closet held
too many bones
too little clothes
is it kindness
to become
an entirely different
person to protect
the tiny threads
unravelling in my soul?
it is too open, too wild
to be awake right now

a stream is a river is a sea is an ocean
a cycle of water breaks free from the same waters
and if anger is the conditioned emotion
we follow same circles, same eldest daughters

i love being soft with you.
gravity is nothing compared
to how you ground me.
the earth shakes, the skies break
and yet
i’ll always know you and
you’ll always know me.
i think about the laughter,
and the next chapters
and usually
the thought, the changes
make me anxious
but you make it better
by existing, by staying.
mike, have i ever told you?
i love being soft with you.

sometimes it is better
to be slightly drunk
it makes my colors duller
it makes my heartbeat slower
it makes my world softer
it makes my mind quieter
and the words?
my god
they come to me
and i didn’t even have to beg
all i had to do was let myself
be led

an orange skyline, ultra-thin and sleek
i take my mother’s scissors and hold it
in my hands. it weighs as heavy as her love.

a chrome red road, glittering and smooth
we run to familiar shadows, familiar monsters
after all, their footsteps sound like love.

an azure getaway car, rumbling and ready
i give you the scissors and you hold it
gently. it becomes water in your love.

a yellow streetlight, bent and rusted
under its pallid color, there’s no monster waiting
after all, could there be fear when there’s love?

an evergreen tree, still and quiet
the car has stopped in a field of wildflowers
sunrise has come and it looks like love.