Hermit

Hermit 14h

I don’t know this feeling
but it knows me.
It slips beneath my skin
when the night forgets to breathe.
Uninvited. Unrelenting.
A quiet voice that screams:
"cut, cut, cut, cut…"

I don’t want this feeling,
but it always finds its way.
A shadow pressed against my chest,
suffocating in the gentlest way.
It comes and goes like broken tides,
but each time,
it takes a little more of me.

I lose myself
in the silence between heartbeats,
in the war no one can see.
Every time it visits,
I forget the sound of light.
I forget how to be.

Hermit Apr 21

I Broke Me

I broke me.
Not in the ways
people see.
Not in the way
you think it starts—
with a moment,
with a choice.

It began quietly,
the way a storm whispers
before it rips through everything.
The weight of things
pressing on me
until I could no longer tell
where I ended
and the pain began.

I broke me.
I didn't need anyone else
to hurt me.
I didn't need the world to tell me
I wasn't enough,
because I already knew that truth
too well.

There were no words
loud enough to drown the silence inside,
no love that could stitch the cracks
I wore like a second skin.
So I found a way to feel
something—
anything.
The blade became my breath,
the only thing that made me real
when everything else felt fake.

Each line,
each scar
was a plea,
a confession,
a cry
that no one could hear.

I broke me.
Not because I wanted to die—
but because I didn’t know how to live
with the weight of all the things
I could never say.

And when the bleeding stopped,
it wasn’t relief.
It was emptiness,
a hollow quiet where the pain used to be.
And I wondered
if this would ever end,
if I’d ever find a way
to unbreak myself.

But I broke me—
and sometimes,
that’s the hardest thing to forgive.

#bleedingwords #cuttingtofeel #silentcrisis

Hermit Apr 21

The Next Moment I...

1st step.
2nd.
3rd—
...pause.
2 steps back.
reset.
again.
again.

How does it end?

I ask
like I haven’t already
broken the answer
in my hands
a hundred times.

One moment,
I swear I see the path—
lit, clear,
like maybe I was meant for more.
The next,
I’m sinking into myself,
slow,
silent,
like grief with no name.

Hope is a ghost
I keep chasing in my sleep.
She never stays.
Not for me.

I smile like it means something.
Breathe like I’m not
falling apart
every second I’m awake.
No one sees
the cracks I carry in my chest.

I call it progress,
this pretending.
But it’s just
a prettier way
to bleed.

How will it turn out?
Maybe it won’t.
Maybe this—
this looping,
this aching—
is the only ending
I’ll ever know.

#loopingthoughts #resetagain #spokensilence

Hermit Apr 19

RAGE

It feels like fear, it feels like fire,
Like pressure building, climbing higher.
It’s silence breaking into screams,
It’s shattered glass inside my dreams.

It’s every “no” I had to swallow,
Every fake smile I had to follow.
It’s being told “you’re just too much,”
Then wondering why I never trust.

It’s fight or flight with nowhere to run,
A war inside that’s never done.
It’s crying in the shower stall,
And praying that no one hears at all.

It feels like lightning in my veins,
Like thunder dressed up as my name.
It’s fury dressed in Sunday best—
A heart too loud to let me rest.

It’s when the tears have turned to heat,
When breaking down starts to repeat.
It’s shaking hands and biting tongue,
It’s all the songs I left unsung.

It’s childhood screams in grown-up skin,
A beast I keep locked deep within.
It’s not just pain—it’s pain denied,
It’s every time I should've cried.

It’s wanting peace but needing war,
It’s kicking down a bolted door.
It’s loving deep but hurting more,
A tidal wave inside my core.

Don't tell me “Breathe," don't say "relax,"
When all I've ever known are cracks.
This rage, it isn’t just a phase—
It’s how I’ve learned to walk through blaze.

Rage isn’t evil.
It’s grief with nowhere to go.
It’s love that’s been left in the cold.
It’s fear that grew teeth.
It’s me,
trying not to disappear.

Ever felt like expressing your feelings but your introverted nature will not let you? the pressure starts building up slowly like a volcano then starts killing you.

#rage #anger #introvert #melancholy

— The End —