i am not who i was,
and god, she was lovely
but she bent too much
for hands that never held her.

now, i am flame and focus.
a pulse of purpose.
still soft, still sacred
but no longer available
for smallness.

i shed old versions of myself
like dead skin in spring.
my voice got louder,
my heart got lighter,
and my boundaries
grew teeth.

you’ll meet me now
and think i’ve always been this whole
but wholeness took work,
and she bleeds gold.

i walk with power,
talk with peace,
and burn with the knowing
that becoming
was always the point.

It’s too good to be true,
So I quiet my mind.
It’s too good to be true,
So I quiet my heart.

It’s too good to be true,
So I quiet my gut feelings
First thing from the start.

This conflicted heart.
Fears, years.
Fears, years.

When that one true love
Is finally near,
Is it too late?
Or is it time for fate?

We are always told to not play with fire when we were younger.
Always being told.
How bold?

As you get older, the fires begin to pop up everywhere,
Sometimes almost hard to bear.
Fires can come in ways we couldn’t compare.

With age does come with some despair.
In the end, people are really good
At handing me the lighter
To set the bridges I set on fire.

It’s always after I cross
Don’t look back, it’s no loss.

Hearts beat, hearts hurt, hearts break.
I can’t help but think how much can I take?

The heart that beats is the heart that hurts.
The heart that hurts is the heart that breaks.
But I’ve learned through my heart that beats,
my heart that hurts, my heart that breaks
that with it all, it still awakes.

I want to feel it all.
The ache. The hush. The hollow.
Because on the other side of silence,
there's a version of me
I haven’t met yet
but she’s waiting,
and she’s worth
every whispered scream.