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eugenisms Sep 2012
The sun embraced me warmly
And the blue sky
Paints what seem to be a good day

I made myself a cup of coffee
And heartily added a lot of sugar
So somehow
Something in my life will be sweet

But the coffee turned out
To be more bitter than I have wanted
And so I made my another one
Trying to remember how
And why your coffee was always sweet

Oh! How I miss your coffee
How I wish you never left
eugenisms Sep 2012
Red, Blue and White
Color explodes,
Sky burns bright
Face in awe
Eyes fixated
People drawn
As colors danced in the night
But as it all comes to an end
One lonely soul still tries to mend
Lost in the sea of smiles
Can the sound of colors
And the colors of the sound
make him forget
that he wants to die
Tonight
eugenisms Sep 2012
74
You're just a seat away from me
and my peripheral vision gives me a wonderful
view of you
I have always been this shy
I have always been this awkward
I have always been this resistant to things
I know I will never have
and you are just another physical manifestation
of how unfair life is, at least to me
You are just another muse
of my unknown poems of
unspoken feelings
Words without mass
Words that will never have
a single space in your whole
anatomical being
Therefore, words that will never matter
This universe will never give a ****
whether my feelings are expressed or not
For I am just another dust
in this wide spectacle of radiant lights
Funny how we breath the same air and yet,
we can never be together
eugenisms Sep 2012
Nobody knows that he's in pain
That he silently cries every now and then
What went wrong?
Why does he feel so alone?

Mom and Dad broke up when was just a kid
Back then, he had no idea why they did
And no matter how much Mom and Dad explain
he couldn't understand
You make a family, make a child
then leave everything behind?
But he still tried his best even though he's wounded
Loving his parent though they're separated
But now he ask if it was ever worth the fight?
Was it worth crying for every night?
Now the family's gone, Mom and Dad found a new home
Leaving him here and there, wounded confuse and alone

Cry, cry little boy
Don't you wish everything was just like a toy?
That you can throw away whenever its broken
And buy a new one like nothing happened

And he grew up without someone to show him the way
Holding on to himself to survive each day
He taught himself how to fight and defend
from people whose kindness was just pretend
from people who promised to stay til the end
but was just there when there's money to spend
And so he became selfish, rude and learned how to lie
He was strong and independent but afraid to die
Because he's still hoping that Mom and Dad would patch things up
And from this horrible nightmare he'll finally wake up
But he found out Mom had a baby
So did Dad from his new family
He was shocked caused it happened so sudden
And now he's  just one of the children
So he tried to grow up, tried to mature
Cause Mom and Dad just had a babies they can't ignore
He tried to understand that they were lonely
that in order to forget they had to make a new family
And so he lived his life like any other teen
Cause the family that he wanted is nothing but a dream

So he smoke,drink
Til he cant think
Think of want went wrong
While Mom and Dad sleep tight in their new found homes



It came to a point that he felt like dying
Cause he doesn't feel happy even if he's trying
He tried to smile  to hide it all
His jokes and laughs was a great big wall
Cause inside he was about to fall
It was hard for him to wake up each day
Without a Mom or a Dad to ask him if he's okay
Without someone to comfort him when he cry
Without someone to save him when he's about to die
Every night he asks God what's His plan
for putting him through things far more than what he can
He asks God if His really there
Does He see his sufferings, or He just dont care
And so he went on with his life not knowing when will it end
But he's still happy cause he got some friends
but its not enough to stop his tears
they were not enough to relieve him of his fears
So he learned to count on to no one  but himself
and he learned to ignore everyone else
He learned that you create your own happiness
as much as you create your own sadness
He tried to live only for him
Cause in the end, only the selfish will win.

He can't cry anymore, so cut his wrist
Hoping that the pain will lessen at least
So he can sleep and prepare for the day ahead
So he can walk around with a smile on his face
So that everyone wouldn't notice that he's been long dead

-2010
eugenisms Sep 2012
The noise of the burning paper
reminded of the your moans
And every breath of smoke
reminded me those nights
                                     we were both breathless
As my lungs expand
I feel our bodies moving in a melodic rhythm
                                      moving faster, carelessly faster
Once again I kissed the cigarette that reminded me of you lips

Each time the smoke enters my body
I feel myself resisting
                                       and like every battle I have faced
I lost
It may seem unflattering but you remind me of cigarettes
I keep on taking you
                                      though I know it will **** me
eugenisms Sep 2012
The fire touches the paper
And like us,
slowly, it turns into ashes

I kissed the cigarette once more
And I feel the nicotine
crawling under my skin
Every smoke I breath out leaves me breathless
It reminds me of the first time we've kissed
It was also the first time I've kiss someone with much affection
Every smoke forms a vision of satin
That reminds me of you
and your hair, your body, your lips
And just like us
Everything was taken away just as fast
Funny how a story can be told within a breath
Was forever that fast?
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