I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

Breath hitched
neck kissed
mind switched
off

Body cold
legs fold
this feels
wrong

Clothes torn
mouths yawn
day dawns
you warn

Don't tell anyone

And  I feel small

You don't know your own strength
I don't think
you don't know how my head went calm
when I heard your heartbeat plummeting through your chest
you don't know how safe I felt
to be wrapped up in your arms
or how happy
to be listening to your nonsensical, drug addled talk
you didn't feel the current, the electric
when the tips of your fingers met me
or the caution I took when moving closer into you
or the breath that hitched when your eyes met mine
you don't know your own strength
when it comes to me

Like the dregs of January snow
under February rain
or fruitless trees
I have come to die

I was not meant to go beyond
the end of Spring
for that was when love all withered
and life became long

I'd like to say I could survive
a summer's day alone
but it is more like being lost
somewhere cold

And the sun does not warm me
the sea does not calm me
I only dream of spring
and until all is ended
to that blossom stem I cling

Remember, remember
the fourth of May
when what felt like a year
only lasted a day
when the smoke and the honesty
tickled my neck
all the song in your laughter
I'll never forget

Remember embraces,
pacing the floor
'I love you too' before closing the door
knowing the world would all be put right
because we were both feeling together that night

Remember kisses at 3 in the morning
and the tightest of hugs through the loudest of yawning
feeling I'd hate to be anywhere else
than there
in the dark
just you and myself

Remember, remember
and don't forget me
when you're out in the world and there's so much to see
but remember that what you were seeing that day
was someone that said
it would all be okay

Letting go of you
was the hardest thing I've done
staying there was worse