i bet even after all this time
that if my chest were to
ache with emptiness enough
like it used to i could go to your house
and find the outline of our bodies
on your dark blue bed sheets
i have spent the last year
both trying to run from you
and find you at the same time
but i left everything i knew
about falling in love
on that mattress and
it's still settling there
like dust and
all i can do is write about you
until it comes back to me,
or by some kind of miracle,
you decide to.

When it happens to other people
You say "How sad."
You say "Poor thing"
But when it happens to you
When you're alone in the dark
When there is nothing louder than the beat of your heart
****** thighs bearing witness
To your entrance to hell
Body discarded
Eyes dim and black
Walls closing in on this brutal attack
Minutes passing like hours
That night on repeat
So afraid of the nightmares that you never sleep
Water burning your skin
Trying to erase his touch
No where to turn
Trapped inside your own head
No where to run
You are already dead
When they find your body
The crows will quietly sing
They'll sing "How sad."
They'll sing "Poor thing"

If I could
I would tie your feet to a star
And send you off to the moon
Let you gaze upon the face of God
I'd trade my soul for you

And if I could
I'd build you a boat
And send you floating down a dream
And I would cry
As you went by
But you'd be safe
But you'd be safe

If I could
I'd take your heart
And put it on a shelf
It would know no pain
Never be broken
I'd protect it with my life

Sometimes at night
I come to your side
And watch you while you sleep
And pray that you would never wake
For at least in death you'd know peace

There was once a little girl
Lost
Left alone in the world
Swept away in the tides of life
She sank
To the bottom of the saltiest sea
Kissing forever with the soles of her feet
She was not afraid
But at peace
For cradled in the arms of eternity
She found herself
And knew where she had to begin
She learned what so few of us learn
That the only way out is within

"When I was a child, I thought like a child, I talked like a child, I reasoned like a child. Now that I am a man, I must put my childish ways behind me."*

I do believe that I have entered into the Twilight Zone
I woke up this morning and all of a sudden people were expecting me to do things for myself
When the hell did mom stop making my doctors appointments for me?
What the hell is this "get a job" nonsense
And why does everyone keep telling me "Welcome to adulthood"?
Like its some awesome place with candy and nonstop Spongebob
When did Saturday become "laundry day"
Where are my cartoons?
Since when did gas prices become more important the cost of Harry Potter books?
What the hell are these silverish hairs starting to pop up all over my head?
And HOW THE **** DO YOU FILE TAXES?
I did not agree to this.
I miss the days of nonstop sunshine kissing my cheeks as I biked down the lanes of Candy Land
When did farts become rude and not funny?
Where is my PB and J with the crusts cut off?
Shouldn't there be a class on how to become a grown up?
I feel like I was thrown into the deep end and expected to know how to swim
I can barely doggy paddle
Is this some sick joke?
I don't wanna grow up, I wanna be a **** toys-R-us kid
I WANT MY MOMMY